Life — July 23, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 SEIGGORS AT NvLLy Tue pastor of a New England church an- nounced that the regular weekly prayer - meeting would be devot- ed to discussion of a certain question of gen- eral interest to the congrega- tion, Many members of the church wished to take part in the discussion ; it was therefore decided to limit each member's remarks to five minutes, When the speaker's time expired, the clergyman was to notify him by rapping with a pencil on the desk. Deacon A., a notoriously long-winded speaker and ex- horter, was one of the members at whom the restriction was especially directed. As everybody anticipated, the deacon was one of the first to address the meeting, and he had not fairly started on his remarks when the rap of the pencil was heard. “Am I to understand,” asked the deacon, turning to Dr. X., “that my five minutes have expired 2” “Yes, deacon ; Lam sorry, but your time is up.” nd all general remarks are limited to five min- utes ? “Yes, that was the understanding.” The deacon turned very deliberately to his fellow- he proceeded, members. ‘* Then, brethren,” “Tshall throw the remainder of my remarks into the form of a prayer.” The deacon kept the floor.— Presbyterian Mes- senger. Hexry WARD BEECHER was once the subject of a cane presentation, and stood while the spokesman of the donors made a speech that ran into an elaborate ora- tion. A friend afterwards commented to the famous preacher on the length of the speech. ‘* Yes,” returned Mr. Beecher, ‘* he didn’t want me to have the cane until I really needed it."— Argonaut. “You may now bring up the captive,” said the can- nibal chief. ‘'Sire,"” answered the minion, ‘he seems to be completely used up this morning.” ‘* Well, if he is,” said the savage potentate, with irritation, ‘* some one else has been to the pantry. I remember distinctly that there were at least three ribs over from last night.” He angrily called tor ayam.—Neww York Tribune. Tue famous actor, E. J. Henley, when in New Or- leans in the winter of 1852, told the following story ot aman in straightened circumstances who, as he puts it, “preferred to be helped to make his own way in the world by commendable industry rather than bean object of charity.” “It was in the winter of 1891, and a bitterly cold night. A lot of actors and other Bohemians were gathered around the big stove of a rather rough and tum- ble saloon in Chicago. It was just after the theatre, and we had gathered there with the view of going on a ‘slumming’ expedition, A lean and hungry looking fellow, thinly and shabbily clad, walked into the place and looked hard at us, as though desirous of making our acquaintance. Some one in our party, devining his G. W. DILLINGHAM, NEW YORK, WHEELS. By a Wheeler. Love Gone Astray. By Albert Ross. Michaeland His Lost Angel. By Lome Arthur New York: Diacealllas and Compan: Lapses Calami. By James Keoneth Stephen. ¢, bridge: Macmillan and Bowes. Artists’ Wives. From the French of Alphs Daudet. London: J. M. Dent and Company. F. Berger's French Method. New York : F. Bey International Bimetallism. By Francis A. Wi Ph. D., LL.D. New York: Hensy, Holt and Compa purpose, took time by the forelock and turning » the stranger said : ‘We have no money to give you to buy acy coffee and a night's lodging, for we're all flat broke “The stranger looked up with a pleasant smik if to correct a misapprehension, and quickly respee “T was not going to ask for money, gentlemen, I wanted to know if one of you would lend mea bag, so that I might go out and make a little Orleans Times-Democrat. A CERTAIN eminent physician went to a cons his wife’s earnest request, though he has no knowl of or interest in music. He was rather listless unt! of the singers, a lady, rose and began to sing for first time. Then he brightened up, “Who is that alto ?" he asked. “Alto!” exclaimed his wife. ‘That isn’t anab she’s a high soprano, and her name is Jones.” Hum !” said the doctor. Why ? 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