Life, 1896-07-09 · page 7 of 18
Life — July 9, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 551 **"An Important Discovery"** (top): A satirical article mocking vivisection experiments. It describes a large female dog being dissected while alive on a vivisection table, presented as "conclusive evidence" that dogs suffer extreme agony when both shoulders are dislocated. The satire critiques the justification of animal cruelty under the guise of scientific advancement—the rhetoric ("Let the noble work go on!") dripping with sarcasm. **"A Misnomer"** (illustration, right): A social scene captioned asking why an "Intelligence Office" is so named, suggesting ironic commentary on employment agencies or government offices. **"The Wrath of Cupid"** (bottom): A humorous poem about Venus/Cupid punishing a scientifically-minded woman who rejected love, presented as moral comeuppance for female intellectualism—reflecting period anxieties about educated women.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN IMPORTANT DISCOVERY. HOcan question the value of vivisection in the face of dis- coveries such as this? SEVENTH EXPERIMENT : — Large female dog. I proceed this time without anzs- thetics, thinking that they have nullified previous experiments. The animal is fas- tened on the vivisecting table. I dislo- cate successively both her shoulders, doing it with some difficulty. The animal, which appears to suffer much, is kept in a condi- tion of dislocation for about half an hour. It struggles violently in spite of its bonds. Here is conclusive evidence pro- cured by ‘‘scientific" experiment, that a dog suffers the mostexquisite agony when both shoulders are dislocated. Those of our readers who are familiar with the sensations of a dislocated joint will not doubt the conclusions reached by this emi- nent vivisector. Let the noble work go on! HEN you borrow trouble you give your peace of mind as collateral. A MISNOMER. “ MAMOIA, WHY I$ THIS CALLED AN INTELLIGENCE OFFICE?" THE WRATH OF CUPID. BENEATH CONTEMPT, HEN Venus roamed Olympia’s height, ‘‘ When next I sieged a maiden’s heart, In radiant heavenly beauty, And sought to set all ill things right By arts of love and duty, She found her Cupid weeping sore, His bow and arrows broken, And thus did he his griefs deplore, And legends told in token: ‘*T sought to win a blonded maid— She fled, and went to voting ; A ballot on my bow she laid, Her virgin scorn denoting. I begged her kisses—she cried ‘ Nay," And said I was a bear if ~ I joined not in the License fray, And fought not ‘gainst the Tariff. . “ Again I found a lovely lass, She was a platform preacher ; * A gentler creed I dreamed, alas ! That I could eftsoons teach her. She gave me Spencer, Huxley, Strauss, I found no way to fault her, With texts she did my transports douse, My bow broke on her altar. And wooed her toward compliance, She nipped the point from off my dart, Because she'd studied science. And when I sang an am’rous lay Of Venus and Apollo, She turned on me a Roentgen ray And said my brain was hollow. “At last I met a cycling girl, In bloomers she was riding— The chemic art made gold each curl; Her native beauty hiding. She had no use for ardent ways, She pitied not my torture, But said she might Love's ante raise If I'd become a scorcher.” Then Venus fair embraced the lad, And bade him calm his sorrow, Nor worry o'er cach earth-maid's fad, But hope success to-morrow. “Dearchild,” she said, ‘‘you must not cry, These fads thy work ne'er covers; For bloomers never reach too high To hide the hearts of lovers.”