Life, 1896-06-18 · page 11 of 18
Life — June 18, 1896 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 499: "A Few Wants" This page contains a satirical essay defending short men against social prejudice, accompanied by three sketch illustrations showing short men in awkward situations with taller figures. The main text argues that literature and art unfairly depict short men as comic or inferior, and demands that fictional heroes—and sculptures in galleries—should no longer be required to possess exceptional height. The author uses humor to mock the cultural bias treating shortness as a character flaw. The right column presents "A Few Wants"—a humorous list of desired improvements by a short man, including a properly-fitted kneespan, undamaged ribs, perfect ears, and a plain face. The final want is a working bicycle after these physical improvements. The sketches illustrate the physical indignities short men endure in a world designed for taller people.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*> LIFE: 499 who visits a gallery of statuary will be mortified and overwhelmed with the comparison, and, departing, feel that he bears a burden of opprobrium and shame. Williston Fish. A FEW WANTS, WANTED: a kneepan smooth and hard, Unseamed, and a perfect fit; Prepared from stuff uncommonly tough That is warranted not to split. Wanted : a brand new set of ribs, Not made for vain display ; Not twisted, torn, or warped and worn, “WELL, YOU POOR OLD BIPED, NATURE’! KIND OF SKIMPY IN But curved in the proper way. FIXIN’ YOUR TOP-KNOT, HASN'T SHE?” Wanted : a pair of perfect ears— But it is not alone in the vulgar and unkind breathing No fluted edges for me; world that short men are ill-treated and contemned. Look, upon literature’and'arct” See ihe ignominy of th An car not ground, but round and sound ey ea ee ae ipericiae As a real good ear-should be. : f 7 A 8 short man perpetuated! When did a sycophantic writer . make his heroes of ordinary and Wanted: a face. I am reasonable stature? When did a ‘ not vain meretricious and wicked sculptor ; Cx And a good plain face make his gods short? Never. will do, Never since the That is not a sight—with false chisel and the f ; the color white— hireling pen were For I'm tired of black devised have they = fi ad and blue. ceased from obse- S é j quious compliment to'the' gigantic:and When these parts have the strong. Fellow z j beei ‘supplied: short men, let us + j oy +f | And maybe, then, I will tise! Long enough fi YA / ' mount again has the fatuous tall ! “ee , That wheel and dears Pan aes a a The Biped: WUst's THAT YOU SAY to ride. loin lofty marble; long enough has his base and earthy soul been expanded by his reading of heroes ‘‘tall and hand- some,” of ‘‘knights of commanding stature,” of beautiful women looking ‘‘up” into the eyes of their noble protec- tors. Fellow short men, we have the wealth, the power and the intelligence of the world, Let us hereafter de- mand that the hero of fiction shall be ‘far below the medium height,” that he shall be described as ‘‘hand- some and possessed of more than ordinary short- "or as ‘tof a most noble and abbreviated A man that’s new I'll be once more Tom Masson. presen Let us demand that in the galleries of sculpture that we are paying for, visitors shall have only the forms and proportions of the short to gaze upon with awe and admiration. Yea, from short gods and short wrestlers and short hurlers of the discus, let pedants point out the marvelous beauty of the human form. Let us in this way subvert the wicked and tyran- nical rule that now exists, so that every tall man Comicbooks.com