Life — June 4, 1896 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A story is told of a now famous American artist | who was seen one day during his struggling days ig | Paris, with bis clothes in the last stage of dissolutioa, and his shoes tied up with twine, But there was a wild gleam in his eye, “I've got a hundred dollars!” be shouted to a friend across the street, quite oblivious of the crowd—"' a hundred dollars, and I'm going to bey some shoe-strings !"—Argonaut. Wuen Mark Twain was married, his bride's father bought and furnished a handsome house for the young pair, Twain knew nothing of it untilafter the wedding, when it was shown to him in all its completeness by a party of his wife's relatives, and, of course, his wife, who at length broke out, ‘It’s our house—yours and mine~ a present from father." He choked up and, with teary in his eyes, stammered out to his father-in-law, “Mr. Langdon, whenever you are in Buflalo, if it's twice a year, come right up here and bring your bag with you You may stay over night, if you want to. It shan't cost you acent!"— Harper's Magazine, DvuRino the Franco-Prussian war, Napoleon the Third gave orders that no war correspondents sboult accompany the French troops, for the reason that “the effects of our mitrailleuses will be so terrible, and those writers will make such descriptions of them that our battles will impress people as mere massacres, and everybody will have a horror of them.” A reporter of Le Figaro, Allred d'Aunao, was so indignant at the Emperor's order that he exclaimed: ‘ Very well, thea; we shall not puff this war !"—Wave. A GEorGIA justice recently sentenced a man to be | hanged. On the lawyer explaining that there was no law which empowered him to pronounce the death sea- tence, he replied: |‘ That may be, but I've hung six of RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION. *em jest the same !"—Atlanta Constitution, Ir was a very small Western town, and the only train out of it that night left at two o'clock. The traveling-man had impressed upon the night porter of the hotel the importance of calling him in time for this train. Promptly at 1:30 prodigious knock roused the sleeper. “Say! be yez the man what wants the two-o'clock thrain “Yes,” was the sleepy reply from within. ‘* Well, yez can shlape an hour longer, fer she’s so much late, ' ‘The heavy feet shuffled off down the hall, and silence ensued. Another hour had passed, when Pat again knocked. “Say! be yez the felly what said he wanted to ketch the two-o'clock thrain?”” “Yes!” and there was a sound of the man hastily springing from his bed. “Well,” drawled Pat, ‘‘yez can go back to bed again, fer she’s another hour late.” A forcible remark or two proceeded from the travel- ing man’s room, and were audible to his awakened neighbors, as was the departure of Pat; but soon all was quiet again, and the few occupants of the hotel were left for some time to undisturbed repose. Just as the first faint streaks of dawn were tinging the sky, Pat ‘once more made his presence known, and, in tones giving unmistakable evidence of recent and heavy slumber, re- marke “Say ! if yez was the felly what wanted to ketch the two-o'clack thrain, yez can shlape till mornin’, fer, be- dad, the blame thing's gone !"—Harper's Magazine. A PROMINENT Detroit firm having a mitlinery de- partment in their store received the following mail order for a bonnet from a patron who wrote that she lived “where millinery is not of a high order.” She therefore sent the following : “* DIRECTIONS FOR BONNET." {azure of head from ear to ear over top of the head 12 inches; from ear to ear under my chin 9! inches; from forehead to back hare 7 inches. I want a black lase bonnet with streamers and rozetts of red or yallow satting ribbon an’ would like a bunch of pink Rozes or a blue ploom behind with a-black jet buckel. If artifishels is still all the go I want a bunch of grapes or a bird's tale somewhares. I do not dezire anything too fansy but if you think a reath of pansies would look good you may put one on. I have some good pink rib- x bon here at home so you need not put on strings.” “SIT IN DOT CHAIR WIDOUT ANY SEAT IN IT, SHAKEY, DEN YOU VON'T VEAR OUT YOUR Detroit Free Press. PANTS SO QUICK.” comicbooks.com