Life — June 4, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE investigators whose names appear in the newspapers in connection with Roentgen ray experiments are a good deal bothered by applications from people who imagine they have bullets or other unpleasant foreign substance in various parts of their anatomy, The story goes that not long ago a certain local scientist received the following letter : Dear Sik: Ihave hada bullet in my thorax for seven years, 1 am too busy to come to Cleveland, but hope you will be able to come down here and locate the bullet, as | am sure the case is worth your while. If you can't come yourself, send your apparatus, and I will get one of the doctors here to use it. Yours truly, -_— Here is the local man’s reply : Dear Six: Very sorry I cannot find timeto visit you. Nor will I be able to send my apparatus. I you can't come to Cleveland yourself send me your thorax by express, and I will do the best I can with it. Yours truly, a —Cleveland Post. A Fat French lady despairingly says: ‘1am so fat that I pray fora disap- pointment to make me thin, but no sooner does the disappointment come than the joy at the prospect of getting thin makes me fatter than ever."—Exchange. AN effective reproof was that given by an elderly man to a fashionably dressed young woman who, as it seems, must have been surprised out of her “manners, The young woman was walking rapidly along a street shaded by many trees, when the elderly man, coming up behind her, sawa large, fuzzy caterpillar on the collar of her coat. “IL beg your pardon,” he said, laying a detaining hand on her arm as he spoke and removing the obnoxious crawler, ‘I wished to take off this caterpil- lar which was almost at your neck.” The young woman stared haughtily and with an air of resentment at the caterpillar and was about to pass on, with no word of thanks. “IE 1 made a mistake, and you would prefer to have the caterpillar replaced, I can easily put it back,” said the gentleman, courteously, suiting the action to the word.— Youth's Companion. Mitsox: Haven't you gone to housekeeping yet ? NEWLY-MARRIED MAN: No; we're waiting to save up enough to live in keeping with the style of the wedding-presents.""—Philadelphia North . can, “* Feet all at sea, old man ?” asked the seasoned passenger, who thought he saw a chance to get funny. No," said the dejected passenger, who was leaning over the side of the ship, ‘I guess there is still a remnant of me on board."—/ndianapolis Journal. It was a London diamond broker and he was trying to get into the social swim. At last he received cards for a certain imposing function, but unfar- tunately, about the same time, was forced to assume the leading role in an unsavory police court case. “ You ‘ave now done it,” exclaimed his friends. ‘* You vill get a leedle note to say der dance has been postponed, and you vill not be told when der day is!" “Nod so,” exclaimed the Jew, “I have der invitation to Somerset House taken to getit stamped, It is now a contract."— Ware. BURNETT'S KALLISTON, Bevore starting for the mountains or Seashore, be sure that you have a bottle of Burnett’s Kalliston for sunburn. For sate by all Druggtsts. Jose Burnett Co, Boston, Mass. “ Ball- Bearing” Ricycle Shoes re made to fit and wear. They touch and support the foot atevery point. Many etyles—high or low-cut, Corrugated soles, Pratt Fasteners secure Jaces withoat tying. PRICE—Black, $300; Tan, $310; Ladies’ Covert Cloth Knee Boot, $10 to MO, Sold by dealers ‘everywhere. If youre does not keep them, shoes will on receipt of price. ‘Look for Trade- Mark stamped on heel. (To Al Yew Tile The Perfection of Olive Oil . PI Your physician will tell you that Olive Oil, pure and sweet, is one of the most “BURT LIME A WATCH” wholesome of foods. Rae’s Oil is pure and — . sweet, aS testified to by numerous awards “sl fill all Expeclalions and wide repute. A trial will convince SEND FOR ART CATALOGUE — jy hi Rae's Lucca Oil] | Reece you of its superior excellence as a food 7 Gee “cy } _— Sterling ele Works. § Guaranteed Absolutely Pure by wn SS Ehieape. q S. RAE & CO., = Established 1836. Leghorn, Italy. comicbooks.com