Life — May 28, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

430 CORNER LOTS. Tt" heights by great men reached and kept Were not attained by sudden bounds ; But they, while their companions slept, Were taking options on the grounds. ISS VASSAR: Are you fond of Horace? Miss ABAT War (from Chicago): Yes, indeed, He never said a better thing than ‘‘Go West, young man.” By DAISY. Daisy will publish horoscopes in this de- partment only in the order received, Re- member the Conditions. Cut out all the pictures from 4,cco copies of LIFE and forward them to Daisy, bo- gether with a photograph of your brain by Roentgen. Twinkle, twinkle, little star; Daisy tells us what we are. RUDY (K-P-L-N-G). HIS gentleman was born under a rising Sun, with Leo in the ascendant, Libra doing handsprings in mid-heaven, and Mer- cury at white heat. In personal appearance he is eighteen stories high and still grow- ing, with solid foundations trimmed with immortelles, and is built to stand. He has.a peculiar temperament, seeing with his own eyes and hearing with his own ears, and has made many enemies on ac- count of his intellect, which he carries with him on his travels, when others leave theirsat home. As a boy he was very dull, and it was predicted that he would grow up to be an average English novelist. but the pre- diction did not come true, He will find his most congenial companions among all sorts and conditions of men, and should wear naturalization papers. Will succeed as a farmer or a baby tender. . . . HALL (C-N-E). HIS gentleman was born under a benumbed Herschel, Venus with the mumps, Mars, Cap- ricorn and Cancer on second base, Libra in tee with Leo, and the links on Virgo fading away under the intense heat. He is tall and swan-like, with a combination breakfast face, consisting of peaches and cream, oat- meal and milk, cracked ice and bread and water. He has a toboggan forehead, Heifer eyes, wears a halo and looks well in aballoon. Isthe happy possessor of a mel- ancholy temperament, being alone with him- self a great deal; should avoid publishers and audiences, use the deaf and dumb language when conversing, and wear the copyright sign tattooed in bright letters, where it can be seen without the aid of a spy-glass. Will find his most congenial companions among American publishers. With training might succeed as a sign painter, but will do his best work as gardener on a desert isle. *LIFE- CONY (D-Y-L). HIS gentleman was born under the sign of the Four, with Taurus and Scorpio favorites, Venus out between the acts, three rings around Saturn, and Capricorn doing a century run in the Milky Way. He has a low frame, with reversible wheels, lav- ender eyes, with Paderewski chin whiskers, travels without a brake, is geared to 106 in the shade, and looks well in a pink nimbus. He has an obliging disposition, talking for hours when paid, is quite patri- otic, leaving his native soil for months ata time, and making hay while the sun shines. He should avoid the open water, speak in a whisper, write only in the dark, and will do his best work as a burglar or a tax collector. . . . ALFRED (A-S-T-N). TTS gentleman was born under Leo, with that sign in convulsions, Libra ing his face against a stone wall, Venus moody and the Northern Lights out, He is very tall for him, being nearly thirty inches high, has a job-lot expression, with iambic features, fluted eyebrows and a pentameter gait, He has an impul- sive temperament, doing those things which he ought not to do, and leaving undone the things which he 1s expected to do, and there is no harmony in him, He looks well in a cake of ice and should wear a strait-jacket when at work. Can read, but has never learned to write, and will do his best work as a hod-carrier in a Chicago hotel, or might make a good supe in a dance hall. OMETHING ought to be done for the more perfect differentiation of the two literary gentlemen who sign ‘‘ Robert Bridges” to their work. One of them is a British (presumably a Scotch) poet. Another is an American critic and editor who drops occasionally into verse. Each innocently plagiarizes the other's signature and a certain amount of ambiguity results. Of course if they chose to have it so, they might form a literary part- nership and hold the name in common, each using it freely, one in Europe and the other in America, and each becoming responsible for the firm and receiving all its profits on his own side of the water. This course they have not adopted yet, and so each continues to be half of two authors and joint owner of an undivided literary reputation. ASKING TOO MUCH. SAAC: Oh! Rachel, you vas de light of mine soul! RACHEL (shyly): Den vy don’t you turn down de gas, Isaac? . “Vat, und me a stockholder!”