Life — May 21, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CRO COPE - \ By DAISY. Daisy will publish horoscopes in this de- —> partment only in the order received. Remember the conditions. Cut out all the pictures from «coo copies of LAFE and forward them to Daisy, together with a photograph of your brain by Roentgen. Twinkle, twinkle, little star; Daisy tells us what we are, HIGH BILL (McK-N-L-Y). HIS gentleman was born under the sign of the Tin Dipper, Mercury at midsummer heat, the infant industries on Mars praying for relief, and the rest of the planets rapidly rising for the great occasion. He has not yet reached his full growth, which will happen in a few weeks, when he will rapidly lose flesh. He has a galvanized complexion, woolen wind protectors, a European outlook, with El- lerslie farm in the background, the White House plainly visible two points on the port bow, the main boom sprung, a London fog rising, and breakers ahead. He looks well in the quiet of his own home, clad in a Roman toga made in Germany, and chained to the wall. He should keep away from politi- cians, and spend an hour a day alone with him- self. He has a hopeful temperament, which looks forward, not backward, lend a hand, and is rapidly making friends, being loved at present not so well but wisely. Evil times coming. He should avoid all excitement for the next six months, wear a gag, write his letters with aguce fortis, and take laughing-gas every morn- ing on rising. He will not succeed in control, and might work great harm to multitudes for the benefit of afew. Willdo his best work as a farmer, a vice-president, where he could cultivate a taste for soli- tude, or would do well asa custom-house inspector. . . . RICHARD HARDING (D-V-S). _ TR young man was born under the sign of ts ~ Himself, the sun, moon and stars shrinking IN from their orbits, the Milky Way curdled with the intense excitement of the great occasion, ‘ a subdued solar system, and the Little Bear with his tail between his legs. He \ is manufactured from crude, raw and im- | Ported foreign materials, is twenty-one | stones high, with a Franklin Square back ©] and an imitation brown - stone front, and should never travel without a fire -escape. He has a trusting, confiding nature, be- lieving what he sees, and is possessed of a rare quality of Philadelphia tact. which prevents others from speaking of themselves in his presence, and he is very happy, spending many hours alone. If persistent, may learn to read and write in time, but doubtful. Should wear danger signals, and will do good work in a kindergarten, for might succeed in a coal mine. JOHN W. (G-F). THs gentleman was born under the sign of the Stuffed Crab, in opposition to the Sun,the Pelican flying high,the Milky Way skimmed, Venus in tandem with Scorpio, and the rest of the stars out forthe dust. He is short and thick- set, with oakum eyebrows, a cork ‘brain, a brass face and a pneumatic cheek. He looks well with hairclose- ly cut, and should wear stripes and walk witha lock step. Inhischosen field he is inimitable—no one caring even to emulate him, and his work among the weak and oppressed has rarely been equalled, his sense of in- justice making him a great favorite with women, He has a Parkhurstian modesty,and is noted for his tact and sense of the fitness of things, and this has lim- ited his curiosity in the past only to those things which it was desirable notto know. He is steadfast and persistent, drawing his salary with great regularity, and believes in sticking to one thing in spite of every opposition, but cares little for money itself, preferring it only for what itcan buy. Should avoid court rooms, and will find his most congenial companions in the penitentiary, Would make a good jockey, a bunco-steerer, or a Sul- tan}of Turkey, but will do his most effective work in a glass case in the Museum of Natural History. “Do YOU SMOKE CIGARETTES, Miss BLAIZER?” I SMOKE A PIPE.” icbooks.com