Life — May 14, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE “*ONcE upon a time,” said ex-Congressman Peel, of Arkansas, at the Metro- politan, ‘'[ heard Mr. Lanham, of Texas, then a Congressman, say to his col- league and friend, Col. Culberson, that it would be better for both of them to retire from political life and return to their homes and make some money from the practise of their profession. *** You know, Culberson,’ said Lanham, ‘that $5,000 a year hardly pays the expenses of living in Washington, and as for saving anything, that is impossible, Both of us can make more money than that practising law.’ “* Yes, Lanham,’ responded the other, ‘I admit the truth of what you say. It's no big money, $5,000 a year, but, Lanham, it comes powerful regular,’"— Washington Post. SENATOR WALTHALL tells a story on himself which is none the less good by reason of the fact that the scene is laid during the late civil war. At that time the Senator was a colonel in command of a Confederate regiment, and had brought his men into position, occupying a sunken road. A Federal battery was pouring shot and shell all around the adjacent territory. This fire, how- ever, passed over the regiment hidden in the roadway, and they were to all intents and purposes out of danger. On the high bank in front of the place where Colonel Walthall stood was a giant pine tree about a dozen feet in circumference. Acting on the spur of the moment, the Colonel thought a fine opportunity was presented to give his men an object lesson in personal bravery without any risk to himself. Accordingly, heclimbed up the bank and stood behind the pine tree. The next minute a shell struck the tree and sent a shower of bark and spliuters flying in all direc- tions, when Walthall overheard the following dialogue between two of his men lying in the roadway beneath : “Ltell you, Jim, it was a mighty good thing for the Colonel that pine tree was there,"” ‘*Yes, Tom,” replied the other, ‘' but if it hadn't been for the big tree the Colonel would never nave been there in the first place."— Washington Times. “Max O'RELL” relates that, while he was teaching in an English school, a lady wrote to the head-master: ‘* Dear Sir—It is our intention to place our boy under your care, but before we do so we should like to know what the social standard of your school is.” To which the head-master replied: “Dear Madam—So long as.your boy behaves well, and his fees are paid regularly, no inquiry will be made about his antecedents.”” ; MVALESCEN p. NURSING MOTHERS 'y) ’AND THCIU SUE FERING FROM INSSMNIA . DYSPEDSIA ete, RECOMMENDED AND PRESCRIBED BY ALL LEADING PHYSICIANS AND A VALUABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR SAID FOOD ene’r SLIEBMANNS SORS BREWING (2 BROOKLYN AY. Fools Rush in Where Angels Fear to Tread. Very true; it's the old, old story. People will oftentimes buy an article that is recommended to be ‘just as good,” because it isa trifle cheaper, and endanger the health of ‘them- selves and families. Moral: Buy only the genuine OLD CROW RYE, SUPERIOR to VASELINE and GUCUM UASELINE CUCUMBERS (aiections of tho skin. J. SIMON 36, rue de "Provence PARIS « PARK & TILFORD. New-York: Dro CREME SIMON marvetous for softening, whitening and perfuming the complexion. Most efficacious for light! _— which has the word RYE. in large red letters on the label and our firm name on the case, cork, capsule and label. H. B. KIRK & €O., SOLEZBOTTLERS, 62 Fulton St., also Broadway and 27th Street, NEW YORK. Loos, Kaufman & Co., Distributors, Syracuse, New York. OLETTES ( rhea Yiolets) OV PERT wio L. LEGRAND (0rizPerfamey) 14, place de la Madeleine, PARIS. SSNS EAN roe SOLD UMES What EVERYWHERE is the 9 PIPE 8 GOUT” pIpERAZIN WATER PAMPHLET Free. wi Gravel, Calculus, Lasy Liver, and all Uric use of Patent Leather? When Ican polish my shoes with Acid Troubles. LL CURE IT. LEHN & FINK, Agents, New IP Cotton Dress Linings—For Waist and Skirt, Will Not Crock. It is positively unchangeable and of superior quality. Nothing else so fully satisfies the highest requirements and yet the cost. is moderate enough for any dress. All Leading DRY GOODS Fast Look for this on Black your dealer for... Superior toall ethers for the following reasons: 1. It gives a superior Polish, 2! It does not crock or rub’ off on the skirts. 3. Unlike all others.ttdoes not crack or hurt the leather, but on the contrary acts as a preservative. 4. Has been manufactured over fort) aad yearsand always stood atthe hea Brown's French Dressing And be sure 10 acce; no other. ‘ EVERY YARD of the Selvage. comicbooks.com