Life — May 7, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHAT IT COMES TO. When indistinguishably fine ‘The ages moider to decay, We see how little of divine Hid in that kingly front of clay And get, perhaps in dust that flies About the tombs of ancient note, A whiff of Cxsar in the eyes, A pinch of Pompey in the throat. Philadelphia Press, ‘Tue recent incident in New York recalls a story of a clergyman who was in the habit of quoting from various sermons without giving due credit to the authors—and to such an extent as to provoke the ire of one of his parishioners. On a certain Sunday a quotation was made by the pastor. The parishioner rose from his seat and said, ‘* That's Blair" ; another quotation soon followed. “That's Fuller.” Still another theft.‘ That's Channing,” said the accuser as be arose from his pew cushion for the third time. “Put that man out,” bel- lowed the reverend plagiarist. ‘That's original,” said his critic—'* That’s his own."—Boston Transcript. Tue admission of women into the occupations which were formerly deemed the exclusive possession of men is neatly satirized by a contemporary. This paper represents, in the warfare of the future, a feminine aide-de-camp rushing in great excitement into the tent of her “ generaless." “The enemy are advancing in force !" exclaims the aide-de-camp. The ‘generaless" looks up calmly. “Tell them,” she says, ‘‘ that I am not at home."— Youth's Companion, “TEAR,” said the fond mother, excitedly, ‘that Willie is learning to play poker at college.” “* Well,” said the old man, ‘‘it isa good thing. He'll also learn economy.” —Indianapolis Journal, AN Irish member of the Sixth Regiment of South Carolina Infantry was stationed on the beach at Sullivan's Island, with orders to walk between two specified points, and to let no one pass without giving the countersign. He was one of those soldiers who believe in obeying orders to the letter. Two hours after Hugh had thus been stationed, the corporal with the relief appeared in the moonlight, and was astonished to see Hugh walking to and fro up to his waist in water. The tide had come in. “Who goes there ?" demanded the sentry. ‘* Relief,” answered the corporal. “* Halt, relief! Advance, corporal, and give the countersign.” “But Iam not coming in there to be drowned. Come out and let me relieve you. Niver a bit,” “Well, then, there all night.” “Halt 1" thundered the sentry. ‘I'll put a hole in ye if you pass without the countersign. Them's me orders from the liftenant,” and he cocked and leveled the gun. “Confound you and the lieutenant !"" answered the corporal. will hear it if I bawl it out to you.” “Vis, me darling, and the liftenant said it must be given in a whisper. In with ye; me finger’s on the trigger.” There was nothing for the corporal to do but to wade out where the faithful sentinel stood. ‘Be jabbers,” said that worthy, ‘it’s well you've come! The dhirty tide has almost drowned me.” —Exchange, said Hugh, ‘ The liftenant told me not to leave me post.” said the corporal, starting to move away, ‘you may stay “ Everybody Tue Riper THE SurFERER.— Walker; Er—when you run intoa man, the rider is as likely to get the worst of it as the pedestrian, isn't he ? Wheeler; You bet he is! The last fellow I ran into only lost a front tooth, while I had four spokes broken and my sprocket wrenched all out of true! —Cincinnati Enquirer, Fit. They contain NO BUNCHES, They contain NOTHING to ANNOY and are made of The BEST YARNS and in a Great Variety of Attractive Styles. Look for the trade-mark on the toe. Send for Descriptive Price- List. oe ee | Are so constructed as to | They contain NO PERCEPTIBLE SEAMS, { | SHAW Stockin6 Co., Lowell, Mass, BURNETT'S KALLISTON, Any irritation of the skin is soothed by an application of Kalliston. Relieves sunburn. For sale by all Druggists. Josten BuanerT Co., Boston, Mass. BUFFALO LITHIAWATER (SPRINGS 1 ana 2.) In NERVOUS Rev, HERBERT T, BACON of the Virginia Con- Rev, GEO. V ference, Clarksville, Va.: “I suffered severely from = V ‘ginia, Dany au Talure INDIGESTION. Z Alwakens DAME, D.D., of the Diocese of wa > fo Var refering tOSPRING No 2: | MQQRARb Ram UE Dyspepsia and /nsomnia, attended with great and constant depression of spirits, on account of which the Annual Conference granted mea year for rest and recuperation. Cod Liver Oil and stimulants were not only medicine, but my principal nourishment, my stomach'refusing to digést other food, I visited the Buffalo Lithia Springs and used freely of the Water of the original spring, now known as No. 1. It soon gave me a keen appe- tite and healthful digestion, and | was able to partake with perfect impunity of the richest dishes found upon the hotel table, The exhilarating effect of the water was very marked and my despondency gave way toacheerful, hopeful spirit, the insomaia_was relieved to a great extent, though not entirely. Con- tinuing the use of the Water for several months, m health was entirely restored, and I reported myself 9, the Conference in November ready tor itinerate ife.” Suffering from Dyspepsia and Nervous Debility, | made recently a visit of some six weeks tothe Buffalo Lithia Springs, finding the waters in allrespects highly beneficial. My dyspeptic symptoms were very much relieved, and m nervous system strengthened and built up. indeed, I now possess a nervous vigor by no means common to men of my age, which / attribute entirely to the action of this water upon my system.” This Water is for sale by druggists generally, or in cases of one dozen half-gallon bottles, $5.00, f.0.b. at the Springs. Descriptive pamphlets sent FREE to any address. Springs open tor guests from June 15th to October 1st. PROPRIETOR, BUFFALO LITHIA SPRINGS, Virginia (On the Atlantic and Danville R. R.) o CFaltill CU Expectations SEND FOR ART CATALOGUE —— }P so Ge ay . Slerling ele Works. One Feginsdo Think OFA Dew Whee : Sterling dicycles Uhbicado. i yoy Se Ta keLberrapes