Life — May 7, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OH, poster artist, tell us when This horrid school of art you've set up Will be called down and made passe ! Or do you never mean to let up Till we who constitute the herd Shall see the true artistic beauty Of maidens green with crimson hair And snakes for fingers doing dut And we sce man’s soul symbolized By a fishworm with appendicitis ; Or till the decorative tone Of purple cows shall much delight us. Cincinnati Enquirer. ACHICAGO minister recently preached a sermon on Sod’s tender wisdom in caring for all, and illustrated is point by saying that He knows which of us grows st in the sunlight, and which must have shade.‘ You now you plant roses in the sunshine,” he said, ‘and eliotrope and geraniums, but if you want your fuchsias ‘0 grow, you must keep them in a shady nook.” After he sermon a woman came up to him, her face glowing ith pleasure. ‘Oh, doctor, I am so grateful for that * she said, clasping his hand and shaking it His heart glowed for a moment—only for a joment, though. ‘ Yes,” she went on, fervently, “I ver knew before what was the matter with my fuch- THereis a physician in Cleveland who is pretty sure to stutter when under the stress of excitement. Some time ago he had occasion to professionally officiate on an interesting.occasjon, afd his vocal infirmity was the cause of a funn¥iisapprehension. The husband-and prospective father, who, by the way, had set his heart on a son and heir, was nervously pacing the library when his doctor entered. “Well, doctor ries the husband, forcing a smile, “‘is it twins?” “Tr—tr—tr” began the doctor. “Triplets! Great Casar!" “ Qu—qu—qu—” stammered the doctor. “Quadruplets! Holy smoke!" “No, no," cries the doctor. ‘*Qu—qu—quite the contrary. Tr—tr—tr—try and take it ph—philosophic- ally, It's just a girl."—Cleveland Plaindealer. Commissioner BOOTH-TUCKER, the new head of the Salvation Army in this country, may be a great and good man in many ways, but he can hardly be considered a success as a hymn writer, judging from the following stanza of a hymn which he has just composed : “ Jesus is my steamer, Who ne'er can sink. In Him Ihave embarked, and safely To heaven's port I swim.” HARPER & BROTHERS, NEW YORK. GENTLEMAN'SGENTLEMAN, Edited by May A Gemberion. Out of Town. With illustrations by Rosini Emog Sherwood, oP PUTNAM’ 'S SONS, ‘W YORK AND LONpox, A King and a Few Dukes. By Robert W. Chamten, Sunshine and Shadow. By Caroline Edwards Prentisy Retrospective Reviews. Ry Richard Le Gallienge. New York: Dodd, Mead & Co.; London: John Lase, the Bodley Head. HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN & CO., BOSTON AND NEW york, Tom Grogan. By F. Hopkinson Smith. Il by C. S. Reinhart. ge Pirate Gold. By F. J. Stimson (J. S. of Date). Odes. Charles Leonard Moore. Philadelphia: Published by the author grene By Madison Cawein. Boston: Copeland Dai In Unsatisfactory Lover, By “The Duchess.” deipnt : J. B. Lippincott Co, Adam Johnstone's Son. By F. Marion Crawford. New York and London : Macmillan & Co. Technique MDCCCXCV1J. Boston : Published by the Junior Class of the Institute of Technolog: Phila “Tr is said there is little and insanity.” “Well, there's one important difference—the autber- ities protect us from the lunatics."—Chicago Tribure. “TL poucnT a pair of handsome embroidered sus- penders to-day, John,” she said as she smoothed ost her bloomers. lerence between ; genias ias."—Argonaut. For sale by all Newadealers in Great Britain. The Inter national No Sat Bream's Building. Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGEXT®, —New York Tribune. “For me or for you ?” he asked.—Chicago Post, Evroreax Agente —Mesers. Bs 37 Avenue de,)'Opers Parley Saaroachrs News Bachange, 1 Clarastrase, Mayence, Germany, Agente for ¢ rmany, hostria and Switzerland, IVORY SOAP A luxury is “ Anything which pleases the senses and is also costly or difficult to obtain.” Ivory Soap pleases the senses, but is neither costly nor difficult to obtain. Your grocer keeps it. . ‘Tne Paocres & Gawait Co., Cin. IBBER pet ts LITTLE CIGARS. From the days of the Warwick Knight, Whese fame and honor bright, Made them of men supreme, By deeds that woaderous seem, Up to the present time This name's stood farth sublime, Descended now tothe Warwick Wheel, That nineteeath century steed of steel. HIGHEST IN PRICE, |{ FINEST IN QUALITY. | 25c. a Bundle, 1o in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 25¢. H. ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. Tu American Tosacco Co., Successor. TRE RIMS ARE VERMILION ARWICK™ THE BICYCLE THAT “BUILT ON HONOR” 4696 ME&DELS $854%° $100 CATALOGUE FREE Ni ‘Warwick CYCLE MFG co. @s “act SPRINGFIELD, MASS. raat) Wright's Myrrh Tooth Soap Without the Taste of Soap. Delightful and refresh. it, All druggita.| uD) Lange China bor for 6 bentpala, tncluding com mie ian es petony Trade-Mark Guarantees Ista, Detroit, Perfection. A MAN went into a dentist's shop to have 1 tooth extracted, but as he thought the | lentist’s charges were rather high he asked |if be couldn't pay on the installment plan. “Certainly,” replied the dentist. ‘ But when a patient pays in installments we pull the tooth on the installment plan also.” ‘How's that?" “* My charge fur pulling atooth is $s." | you said."Qan@he = Bw oo “*Very well. How much a week do you opose to pay ?” ** About 25 cents.” “Allright. Get into this chair and I will |pullon the tooth 25 cents’ worth, and you |can pay the first installment. Comeinagain next week and I will jerk the second in- stallment out of you, and the next—"" But the patient had vanished.—7ex as| |Siftings. Coats, Gowns, Capes, Hats and Bonnets Por Deiving,Cycling, Equestrian. Golfics. | Carriage, Street, Dinner, Recepties. Visiting and Evening Wear. Our Style and Price Dety Competitics. West 23d Street. Gotng abroad? The best and pleasantest antidote for sea sickness fs Abbott's genuine Original Angostara Bitters, At Druggtats. Tue Lonc axp THE SuorT oF Love.—'' Love me little, love me long,” she warbled. “Yes,” said he. ‘* But will you love me when I am short ?"—/ndianafolis Journal, CORPUS LEAI ABSOLUTELY HARMLESS. Simply the fat Seeman ye aes nomaresd recs ‘by all Draggtete