Life — April 30, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN old Irishwoman, who has received many benefits at the hands of a benevolent minister and his wife, is so shiftless that occasionally the large- hearted coupie lose all patience with her; but she has such a sense of humor, and such a beguiling tongue, that she never fails to amuse them and finally to win them back, Atone time when money was given her to buy warm underclothing with, she wasted it upon a large plush photograph album. The minister spoke to her with considerable severity, asdid also his wife, and for some time Bridget received no calls from either of them. One afternoon, however, the minister relented and stopped at Bridget’s door way to see a sick woman. Shure, and it's mesilf that dreamed abou Williams,” said Bridget, with a beaming smile, ‘‘Oi dreamed that you and Missus Williams came here to see me, and says you, ‘How ase you off for tay and coffee, Bridget ?’ and Oi says, ‘It’s niver a drop of ayther Oi've got in the house, Misther Williams!’ And thin you presinted me wid a pound of tay, and Missus Williams wid a pound of coffee on the shpot! Yis, sorr, that was me dream. “Well, Bridget,” said the mi dreams are said to go by contraries.”” “Shure, and that’s fwhat Oi said to mesilf,” exclaimed Bridget, triumph- antly. ‘Said Oi, ‘ Afisther Williams is the wan that'll be giving me the coffee and Missus Williams the fay/* Thim was my very thoughts, sorr."— Youth's Companion. ou last noight, Misther ister, striving not to smile, “ you know A WASHINGTON correspondent, some time ago, started a story about Pro- hibitionist Hull, of lowa, to the effect that he once admired a knife of Repre- sentative Chickering’s which had in it a hook, ‘* designed,” Chickering said, ‘‘to remove stones which might become fastened in a horse's hoof on a rocky road.” Hull admired it so much that Chickering gave it.to him, and Hull took it home. An absolutely safe dentifrice, popular with refined people for over half All Druggists. (o show to his wife. Mrs. Hull looked at the knife and then at her husband. ** Jobn,” said she, “any man who has served three terms as secretary of the State Senate, been twice lieutenant-governor, and served two terms in Congress, must be a pretty good man if he doesn’t know a champagne-opener from a hoof. cleaner.” The story was copied all over the State, and commented on in a variety of ways. Then the Congressman met the correspondent who first pub- lished the story. H : was smiling all over. “ You did me a great service,” Hull id, wringing his hand affectionately ; ‘tall the Prohibitionists are taking my wife's view of my ignorance, and all the ‘ antis’ are insisting that I’m a devil of a good fellow for imposing so successfully on my wife. It works in my behalf whichever way you take it."—Exchange. Some one asked Max Nordau to define the difference between genius and insanity. ‘ Well," said the author of Degeneration,” “the lunatic is, at least, sure of his board and clothes.” THING interesting in the New Woman club?" are to have a spring exhibition of paintings done by old mis- icago Record. AFTER a dinner given by Stephen Price, of Drury Lane Theatre, all the guests but Theodore Hook and the Reverend Edward Cannon retired. Price was suffering from gout, but as they disregarded his hints to retire, he stole off and left them in high talk. On the following morning he inquired of his ser- vant: ‘Pray, at what time did those gentlemen go last night ?”” “Go, sir?” replied John; “they're not gone, sir; they have just rung for coffee."— Pittsburg Bulletin. “* WouLD you like a sonata before dinner ?" said the Washington hostess to the gentleman from Kentucky. ** Well, I don’t mind,” said he.- can stand another."—Soston Herald. 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