Life — April 30, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Two or three lawyers were discussing the tricks of their trade. “* A big, burly fellow from the Michigan pine forests came into my office,” said one of them, “and told a very I SEERS ATT NLL pause. “The English flag,” he said, with an air of placid certainty, ‘is white.” ‘There was a general cry of expostulation, which had no sort of effect on the old warrior. ‘Don't I know ?” he asked, gently; “I have WHAT.THE ANGELS THINK, My dear Clairette, gowned all in white, Kneels where the fading evening light mean story about a rich man here in town, who was try- Steals in to see so pure a sight. ing to cheat him out of two or three thousand dollars, and who had managed to get a pretty tight clutch on the money. The backwoodsman looked and talked like an honest man, and the old miser’s reputation was mean enough to match the story, so I felt inclined to believe it, When he had finished 1 looked him up and down from head to foot. He asked me what I was looking him over for. * Well,’ said I, ‘I was thinking that if I were over six feet tall, and as powerful a man as you, I wouldn't hire a lawyer to help me get that money.’ The man's excited face smoothed out into blank astonish- ment. ‘Whatdo you mean?’ he said. I answered, ‘I mean just what I say. You are sure, are you, that he bas that money in his office?’ ‘He had it there last night.’ * Well, you don’t need a lawyer." ‘The man turned on his heel and left without an- other word. In a day or two he sent mea check for $50 and his thanks for my advice."—CAicago Times-Herald. seen it—seen it three times: once at Majuba, once at Bronkerspruit, and once at Doornkop. Each time it was hoisted and each time it was white.” And that settled it.—Argonaut. My dear Clairette lifts tearful eyes In suppliance to the far-off skies And for forgiveness softly cries. Own to the illness of his regular orfice boy, Dr. Joseph Marcus some weeks ago hired a new boy named Tommy Jones. Tommy was a jewel, and when Joe, the first incumbent, convalesced, the doctor was loath to let Tommy go, But Joe wanted to come back to his soft berth, and pleaded with his former employer, A way out of the dilemma seemed to present itself, for the doc- tor said : “* Joe, if you can put the other boy out, you can get your job back.” “Do you mean that I must lick him ?" “* That's about the size of it.” “ Allright.” When Dr. Marcus returned to his office that night he met a sight he never bargained for. The glass in the door was smashed into smithereens. A marble clock on the mantel was minus dial, glass, or hands, and a hand- some office chair reposed on three legs; but Joe was in victorious possession, nursing a swollen cheek. “Tommy's gone,” he said, with a grin.—Cincinnaté Enquirer. My dear Clairette prays that she be Forgiven for the sins that she Feels rest upon her weightily. My dear Clairette, so pure and fair! The angels smile to see her there, And wonder at the needless prayer. —W. J. Lampton in the Cosmopolit SEVERAL artists at a Royal Academy dinner, in the neighborhood of Carlyle and Thackeray, expressing their enthusiasm about Titian. Carlyle, had been listening in silence to their rhapsodies, rupted them by saying, with slow deliberation here I sit, a man made in the image of God, who k: nothing about Titian, and that's another fact ay Titian.” Thackeray, sipping claret at the moment, pay and bowed courteously to Carlyle. ‘‘ Pardon me’ said, “that is not a fact about Titian. But it is as and a lamentable fact —about Carlyle."—irgonest. THERE was once a dispute among a group of Boers over the color of the English flag. There was much difference of opinion on the subject until an old patri- arch, clad in a blue shirt and soiled yellow moleskin trousers, arose. He knew nothing about the English, but he was solid on the color of the flag. When he stood up there was a murmur of ‘*Oom Peet," and a respectful For mus by all Kewedealers tn Great Britain. The Inter national Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, Penden, EG SSoalied 4 xonre 9 ie | SOAR bo) wee: CaS Baltimore Rye’ The American Gentleman's WHISKEY. PAMILY AND MEDI. CINAL USE. THE BEST WHISKEY) IN| AMERICA “s Peed Endorsed by Leading Physicians| i | when stimulant {s prescribed. Pure, Old, Mellow. HUNTER RYE. Itts pure.” First. WM, LANAHAN & SON, - - 7 DE CRIPTION fe is _ Fst Rye 5 : ss ry Pa: Didn't I hear you say, Bella, that S27 THIS ! me) y young Mr. Cakkle, who calls on you so DELIGHTFUL regularly, is an advocate of the eight-hour =. BLEND movement ? BELLA: Yes, pa. y Pa: Ithought so. I noticed last night) it took about eight hours to get a move on him.—Boston Courier. The enamel and nickel that ¢ are applied to Columbia Bicy- cles know no equal for beauty. Better still, this beauty is the same a year hence—two years hence. A rub of the polish- ing cloth,and Columbia enamel shines like new. In every detail you can be sure of Columbias— unequalled, unapproached. One may be neat and “bike” it too; A muddy fall is naught to rue Since Ivory Soap will soon restore ‘The fabric, spotless as before. Crprm tend, 08, by The Procter & Gamble Ca, Cia. THE, aIBPACT DERIVED FROM BOLO AT ALL t lass Cafes and by Jobbers. <5 en based ( Baltimore, Md. telll trad : BE LECA crs craic for two 3-comt THE HALCYO (Formerly Halcyon Hall) BE OOr. DUTCHESS 00,} PoInTs OF PERFECTION mane it THe Prer|| OF WHEELS. IT'S THE WREEL TAATS BUILTo*HONOR Ano IF THE RIMS ARE VERMILION ITS A WARWICK CATALOGUE FREE WARWICK CYCLE MFG C? “ase SPRINGFIELD,MASS “att MR. MANN: So you had to go and tell] Eaall |Mrs. Heon what I told you about the Fow-| lers? I never did see such a woman! You never could keep a secret. Mrs. Many: How unreasonable you| lare, Henry! If I don’t tell a secret, how is ‘anybody to know that I have been keeping lit 2—Boston Transcript. Ed A202. RIAL PACKAGE ho FOR 2SCERTS. LTIMORE ae