Life — April 16, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE “Waar are you thinking about, little man ?” asked a charming hostess of a small boy visitor. ** Mamma told me,” answered the little man, I was thinking I'd be mighty lucky if I got one. “not to take two oranges, and —Detroit Free Press. AN old woman was being questioned by a lawyer as to how the testator had looked when he made a remark to her about some relatives. “Now, how can I remember? He's been dead two years,” testily. “Is your memory so poor that you can't remember two years back ?” ques- tioned the lawyer. ‘The old woman was silent, and the lawyer asked, like me?" “Seems to me he did have the same sort of vacant look,” responded the witness, and the lawyer had no further questions.— Youth's Companion, she replied, “Did he look anything A Most amusing reply was made by Judge Neff to an objection made by Attorney Vernon Burke. The replevin suit of Captain Joseph Doville againg Constable Hudson was on hearing. Mr. Burke had continually made objections to certain testimony, and every one of the objections was religiously overruled by Judge Neff. Later, Captain Doville was on the stand and the same question came up again. ‘I object,” cried out Mr. Burke in a stentorian voice. “What's your objection ?" asked Judge Nef. ** Same old objection,” replied the attorney. “Same old ruling,” answered the judge. ‘* Proceed.”"—Cleveland Recorder, A FEW years ago Jim Chessley was one of the best all-round athletes on the Coast, but he made a specialty of baseball and sprinting. One night, after being out with the baseball crowd, he suggested that they go up to his lodgings and look at a new suit he had bought to sprint in. Though it was two o'clock in the morning, they accepted his invitation. Chessley put on his new running shoes and trunks. While he was still prancing about the room before his admiring friends a commotion was heard out in the hall and cries of ‘* Stop thief!" Chessley threw open his door in time to see a man darting down the stair. way. He dashed after the fellow, and, after a sprint of half a block, caught him. When Chessley took him by the collar he whirled around as if he intended to fight, but when he had sized Jim up from the top of his head to his spiked soles his jaw dropped, he shook his head hopelessly and said : ““T give up, pardner. When they keep a man ready in runnin’ costume to chase a feller at three o'clock in the mornin’ they're too many for me."—Sax Francisco Post. As A sample by mail if you send three cents for postage and mention this publication. Address the proprietors of SYUZODONT, HALL & RUCKEL, New York. fragrant and re freshing as the flowers, SOZODONT 1s a favorite with the beautiful and re- fined women of America, gentlemen of cultivated tantea demandiit and ebitdren alway: yf Tho test of halt a century reveals 8020- DONT the most wholesome of all dentifrices, e: Keep the Name in mind NUBIAN Fast Black Cotton Dress Linings WILL NOT CROCK. sith ‘charee ester Policy Tanchangeas}e, Ret Mado in several per ho and inexpensive Dresses. ZAt All Dry Goods Stores. Look for this on every yard of the Selvage. esl Gli *agceeooooes Tre horaDr in {ASymbol# aN Me =—___AMERICA’S FAVORITES. Are Built in the Largest and Best Equipped Factory on Earth. Detter bicycles for less money than Our unequaled facilities enable us to supp!) other makers can afford to market an an inferior prodacsion, hence in a Waverley there is a clear saving of 815.00 or more. A hi impossible to produce. Our catalogue explains all Send eri INDIANA BICYCLE CO., tattanpetia, Ind. IGYGLES. $85 On ing igher grade b cycle, it 15 Send ten cents in stamps for ‘@ pair of our new { * GAME Containing a large percentage of ge of COUNTERS 4 purest gl yeerine—undemiably the mos INDIANA Peaithiar and healing ingredient of a BICYCLE Co. perfect toilet soap. The trade-mark lediagapotis, Fino. 4711” on each tablet. MULHENS & KROFFF, N.Y., U. S. Agents. wewwwwwwwvey OLETTES wio (gears Giolets) ov CZAR CONCENTRATED PERFUMES Lt. aire placede la Mi ine, PARIS SEAN SENN THE HALCYON (Formerty Halcyon Hall.) MILLBROOK, DUTCHESS CO., N. ¥. Easily accessible tn destgn, Uberal in management, rect cuisine’ iid tect elevation: ‘The benutifal arives, Kear bicycle roads and seaman Cad oie comicbooks.com