Life — March 5, 1896 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE: “T’p like to speak to you a minute,” he said, as he met a patrolman at the corner of Michigan avenue and Wayne street the other evening. “Allright. What is it 2” “About six months ago I met you down by the city hall one afternoon.” “Well 2" “Twas after a marriage license and asked you where to go.” “Yes.” “When you found I was going to be married, you laid your hand on my shoulder in a fatherly way and said: ‘Young man, pause and reflect.’ Do you remember ?” “Yes, [think I do.” “Well, your words struck home. license.” “No!” “And I didn't get married.” You didn’t, eh! Well, 1 am glad if advice ot mine prevented you from taking a step which you might ever thereafter regret. Did you want any more advice ?" “Well, yes. The girl sued me for breach of promise and got a verdict of $2,000 and cleaned me out of my last cent and all I can earn for the next five years tocome, Mebbe you want to lay your fatherly hand on my shoulder and give me some more wisdom.” “Young man,” said the officer, as he slid his fingers along up his coat sleeve until they rested on his collar, ‘* you move on !"—Detroit Free Press. I paused and refiected. I did not get a Apropos of the efforts lawyers make to escape from the New York Court of If not, why not? world stand so hi cyclists, because ceives full value No other wheels in the h in the estimation of ‘averleys are built on bonest value lines, and the purchaser re- r the investment. BEND TEN CENTS IN STAMPS FOR A PAIR OF OUR NEW CARD COUNTERS. Special Sessions as soon as their cases are over, in order to avoid being appointed as counsel for impecunious defendants, the Sw tells this story: ‘* An old hand had just concluded a case and was doing his prettiest to reach the door, with a young lawyer a yard or two behind making for the same goal. Just as the older man disappeared, Justice Jerome called his name, but of course got no answer, The other had his hand on the door-knob, when the justice called to him, intending that he should take the case. ‘Mr. Jones, will you—' he began, ‘Yes, your honor, I will,’ interrupted young Jones; ‘I'll call him back, he's just outside,’ and before the court could interfere, he darted out the door. ‘ Joe, the judge wants you there in court,’ he said, catching up to his fellow-lawyer, who, with a wry face, retraced his steps. ‘Did you send for me, your honor > he asked Justice Jerome, and court, lawyers, and spectators caught on to the joke, and there was a great laugh. ‘I did not, Mr. Smith,’ said the justice, * but now that you're here, will you kindly act as substitute in this case for your departed colleague, Mr, Jones?’ Young Jones kept out of Special Sessions for the remainder of the week.” It was in the Coliseum. “* Pardon me.”” Seneca leaned forward and touched one of Agrippina’s ladies-in-waiting on the shoulder. “Pardon me, but would you mind taking down your coiffure, so that I can See the arena? 1 am particularly interested in to-day’s massacre.” Her only reply was a swift glance of patrician scorn, for she knew he had come in ona press ticket. Rome has fallen since then, but the theatre hat has not.—7ruth, THE healtbfulness of Lynton, a summer resort in Devon, England, is advertised by this story : Recently a visitor began to talk to an old man at Lynton, and asked him his age; whereupon he said, ‘I am just over seventy.” “Well,” said the visitor, ‘you look as if you had a good many years to live yet. At what age did your father die?" “Father dead,” said the man, looking surprised. up-stairs putting grandfather to bed !"—Exchange. “Father isn’t dead; he's REVOLVERS ge big and workmanship used in hee manufacture REVO, fillable The SMITH & WESSON REVOLVER is as carefully constructed as af Rebclass wate very part being thoroughly } tested before used. Send for handsome illus- ¢ trated catalogue telling you all about them. j SMITH & WESSON, % Swsniiget A better Cocktail at home than Is servea over any bar in the World. HECLUB= == T eas | foe oe oe ee {ASymbola of Purity} MANHATTAN, MARTINI, WHISKEY, HOLLAND GIN, TOM GIN, VERMOUTEH and YORK. We guarantee these Cocktails to be made of absolutely pure and well matured liquors and the mixing equal to the best cocktails served over any bar in the world, Being compounded in accurate proportions, they will always be found of uniform quality. Connotsseurs agree that of two cocktails made of the same material and propor- tions, the one which is aged must be better. Try our YORK Cig ey without any sweetn: ng ay and ia sale on the of the principal AVOID IMITATIONS. For Sale by all Druggists and Dealers, Containing a large percentage off 4 urest glycerine—undeniably the ‘most $heatthtala and healing ingredient of ap 4 perfect toilet soap. The trade-mark “No, 4711" on each tablet. > MULHENS & KROPFF, N.Y., U.S. Agents. and Gad Buttet Cars of the U. 8.