Life — March 5, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"FESPR) AT LLY It was their first meeting in several years, and, of course, they had a great deal to say to each other. “Thave been so busy that I haven't had time to study it out," said the one in blue, “ but I think we are related in some way now, are we not 2” “Well,” explained the one in dark brown, ‘the ali- mony that you get from your first husband is really just enough to pay the alimony that your present husband's first wife gets from him." “Yes. I let him have it for that purpose.” “Then his first wife,” continued the mathematician in dark brown, ‘*was my first husband's second wife, and, as he is paying me the same amount of alimony, the money is simply transferred to me. That is where the connection comes in."—Chicago Post. Dr. Jounson paid a pretty compliment to Mrs, Sid- dons when, for the moment, he had no chair to offer her. “Madam, you who so often occasion a want of seats to other people will more easily excuse the want of one yourself.” “ Lonserven, Brother Rocksworthy,” said the Rev. Dr. Fourthly, ‘* that when I spoke in my sermon yester- day of the evils of gambling in stocks and expressed the hope that no member of my congregation ever frequent- ed places where such gambling was made a business you slapped your thigh emphatically. Iam glad if the sen- timent met your approval.” “*Why—aw—the fact is, doctor,” replied Brother Rocksworthy, “I—I suddenly remembered where I had left my umbrella.""—Chicago Tribune. A SPRING MORNING. TT E sun is warm upon the hills— ‘The skies are brightly blue. (Be wary, little violets, They've set a snare for you!) A springlike softness in the air— No ice germs in the dew. (Be wary, little violets, They've set a snare for you!) The flags upon the signal tower No blighting blizzards brew. (Be wary, little violets, They're only fooling you !) Atlanta Constitution. Hoax: My wife and some of her friends are going to organize a secret society. Joax: Nonsense! The idea of women in a secret You misunderstand. They are to meet to Philadelphia Record. “ How many people will this car seat ?” inquired the loquacious passenger. “Women or men ?" asked the conductor.—Chicago Evening Post. “SHOULD like to know," said one New York sports- man to another, ‘what makes Lord Dunraven’s apol- ogies so slow in getting here?” ‘* Maybe he’s bringing them over on his yacht,” was the reply.—Washington Star. tell secrets. . P, PUTNAM'S SONS, NEW YORK AND LoNpoy, THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY. By Rodrigues Ottolengu: HARPER AND BROTHERS, NEW YORK. The Apotheosis of Mr. Tyrawley. By E. Livingstoy Prescott. James Inwick, By P. Hay Hunter. In Search of Quiet, By Walter Frith. Three Gringos in Venezuela and Central America, By Richard Harding Davis. J. B. LIPPINCOTT AND COMPANY, PHILADELPHIA, Mrs. Romney. By Rosa Nouchette Carey. ROBERTS BROTHERS, BOSTON. Six Modern Women. By Laura Marholm Hansson, EDWIN ARNOLD, NEW YORK AND LONDON, Papier Mache, By Charles Allen. Misther O'Ryan, By Edward McNulty. ALTHOUGH ascetic in his personal habits, the lae Cardinal Manning was far trom being austere, axé among his intimate friends he relished telling or bearieg amusing things. A story he never shrank from tellicg was of a sculptor who had once attempted his bust is Rome. During one of the sittings, as he was discoursicz on phrenology, Manning made him point out oa the head he was modeling the supposed seat of varios organs and qualities. At last Manning had asked hia where was the seat of conscience, upon which the sculp- tor had stalked across the room, and touching a certais part of the sitter's cramium, remarked, ‘ That's where it ought to be !"—Household Words, For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. | The Inter~ hance: national News Company, Bream’s Building, London, E. C., Eng! ry Lane, Evnoreas Aowto—¥ say, agente Sai Germany, Agente for Germany, Austria and Switseriand. 37 Avenue Ge VOperm, ramsey Mayeace, ears, Brent «oe VENDOME: my KTISFACTION DERIVED Malet souierat, BOSTON wean are. C. H. Guxxriear & Co. Thirty excursions to Europe. Giekeve by all linen. Send’ ¥.C, Clark, 111 Broadway, New York. EUROPE ist Gazette.” Ocean “Tour- York. “AD. And washed with common soap,’tis spoiled ; “ge But Ivory Soap preserves the hue $e As brilliant and as fresh as new. Copyrighind, WA, by Thr Procter & Cambie Cm, Cia't, | Colorado Springs, Colo. CRIPPLE CREEK For information concerning this great gold min: ing camp, its mines and stocks, write to F. G. PECK, INVESTMENT BROKER, References: Dun's, Brad- street's or any C Jo Springs bai Allyou have guessed about life insurance may be wrong. If you wish to know the truth, send for “ How and Why,” PAY . sued by the Pexx Mutvat Lire, | AGE. ‘g21-3-5 Chestnut Street, Phila | delphia. a pills for con- stipation 10¢ and 25¢. Get the book at your druggist’s and go by it. Annual sales more than 6,000,000 boxes, WE THAT OLD SIGN ON FULTON STREET attracts much attention from the passer by. There is scarce- ly a legible letter on it. It has been there many a long year, but not as long as the well- known firm over se door it hangs, and they, in turn, take o! their hat to their pet brand of **Old Crow Rye,’ The oidestbrand im. entuck: founded by James Crow, and whose formula is stil used; but look sharp for imi- tations. ‘The genuine has the word RYE on the label in large red letters, and our firm name oncase, cork,capsule and label H. B. Kirk & Co., 69 Fulton Street, Also"Broadway and 27th St. CRIPPLE CREEK Valuable illustrated book, How to Invest. Send 0c. J. Cook, Jr., 47 Bank Block, Denver, Colo. THE INK PRED’K H. LEVEY CO., 59 Beekman St., N.Y. used on Lire is manufactured by “Do you see that gentleman yonder ? He holds the largest number of prizes and medals ever possessed by one man.” “*What! that fellow?) Hedoes not look a bit like a champion.” “It’s justas I tell you, though. He is a pawnbroker, you see!"—Centralblatt fiir Radsport, aA A 202. 2 TRIAL Pact ri MARBURG BROS {merit sa I beg to inform my patrons and friends, that I now have? most complete line of SPRING and SUMMER IMPORTATIONS, which for etegance and style cannot be surpassed, and in OY commodious quarters in the ‘Life’ Building, 1 am able @ ive each and all the most careful attention. Inviting at early inspection of my stock, and thanking my friends for their kind recommendations, I remain, respectfully, JAMES L. McEWEN, “Life” Building, 19 W. 31st St }. ¥, Agent for Smatpage £ Son, }rondon, England. ummel & Co., Comicbooks.com