Life — February 27, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He sat on a log in front of his shanty, smoking some sort of leaves or weeds in his home-made pipe, and when I rode up and saluted him I thought him the most melancholy individual I ever saw. “Down on your luck ?" I queried as I offered him some smoking tobacco. “Wall, no,” he slowly replied.‘ Lost my mew! by snake bite t'other day, but sich things ar’ to be expected.” “You don’t look well.” “Guess not. I've been sick fur about three months, and this is my fust day out. We must expect sickness, however.” “ Wife and children well ?” “ Wife run away last week, and the seven young ‘uns ar’ in thar’ with chills and fever. I was kinder discouraged this mornin’, but I'm feelin’ quite chirky now.” “I see you have no crops in,” I said as I looked over the rank fields. “Not a crop, and I'm kinder glad on it. I won't hev no hustlin’ to do this fall.” Haven't you any poultry or live stock ?” “Noap. Had to sell my cow last winter, and the coyotes carried off the chickens. Had two hogs, but they died of cholera. Noap—no live stock to worry about.” “This old shanty of yours is ready to tumble down.” “That's a fact, stranger. She leaks like an’ old boot and kin hardly stand alone. Reckon the fust high wind will blow her all in a heap.” “ Provisions pretty scarce ?” I persisted, seeing he was wilfing to talk. “Dunno. All we live on is johnny cake and corn coffee. Shouldn't won- der, though, if pervishuns was kinder skeerce.”” “Your nearest neighbor must be all of three miles away ?” “Three miles was the nighest, but he’s dead. The nighest one is now five miles away.” “*And don't you get lonely ?” “Never.” “But will you tell me what on earth you are living for ?” “Twill, stranger—I will! he answered as he got up and threw a piece of sod at a barking pup-dog. “* This ‘ere claim is wuth about $500.”” Yes." “And she's 's mortgaged for $600,"" “Yes. “And the money's all gone and the mortgage is to be foreclosed nest month.” “see.” “Wall, I’m livin’ to see the fun when the fule who lent $600 on $500 wuth of land gets around yere to foreclose on me and take possession! Arter that I'm goin’ out and let a snake bite me and die."—Detroit Free Press. ERY man has his price,” sententiously announced the philosopher of the all-night drug store, where the street-railroad franchise was being discussed “Well,” said the wit of the establishment, “I wish somebody would dis- cover my price and offer it to me.” “ My boy,” solemnly remarked the perfumery drummer, who had not spoken before that evening, ‘there is no smaller coin made than a cent.” And for several seconds there was no sound heard save the drip, drip of the real mineral waters from the hydrant.—Buffalo Express. Tuis is how a high-school girl recently parsed the sentence, “ He kissed me”: “He,” she began, with a fond lingering over the word that brought the crimson to her cheeks, ‘‘is a pronoun, third person, singular number, masculine gender, a gentleman and pretty well fixed, universally considered a good catch. ‘Kissed’ is a verb, transitive, too much so, regular every evening, indicative mood, indicating affection, first and third persons, plural number and governed by circumstances. ‘Me '—oh, well, everybody knows me.” And she sat down.— Exchange. : Keep the name in mind. THE SHAWKNIT STOCKINGS, Containing No Bunches and No Perce reer able Seams, constructed in accordance with the Shape of the Human Foot, and knitted from the Best of Yarps, are The Nicest-Fitting, Longest-Wearing, and Most Comfortable. Coarse, Fine, and Extra-Fine (half-hose), in solid colors and mixtures, for Men and Youths; Super-Stout (hose) in black for Boys and Gir! Look for Chawetbri cn the toe. SOLD BY THE TRADE GENERALLY, AND OBTA‘NABLE DIRECT FROM THE MAKERS, tx Deserpuve Preeist, ~=SHAW STOCKING CO., Lowell, Mass. to any applicant, Fast Black | COTTON DRESS LININGS WILL NOT CROCK. Latico and drememakers everywhere hare proved their Meh character, Positively unc} ble. Not affected by fpiration,” Madea several qualties for tbe finest Gowns sod inexpensive Drewes. At all Dry Goods Stores. Look for this on every yard of the Seleage. ff ine ye SF FESS, rid- Wide Re ju lon. IGYGLES. ARE THE CHOICE OF EXPERIENCED RIDERS, ‘Those who have learned to know the difference between a wheel that actually is high Frade. and one that is Wi claimed to be. Others may be good, but the Waverley is the HI h Grades. of a new Waverley Pe eotcher 1s offered to ench versenne f recovers a stolen ‘6 RD Waverley during 188, payable upon presentation to us of satisfactory proot of the tacts WA the sentence of the thief’ ‘This reward is test to every one excepting the owner of ‘the stolen wheel, but is not ‘able to more than one yn in an: Awl CATALOGUE FREE BY MATL DIANA BICYCLE CO., INDIANAPOLIS, IND GOUT? BIDE IPE WATER at Cacti Sus € CiGiK 18 REQUIRED WITH B WHITMAN'S RECOMMENDED FOR Gravel, Calculus, Lazy Liver, and all Uric Acid Troubles. WILL CURE IT. Pampucer Face. - LEHN & FINK, Agents, New York.