Life — February 20, 1896 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE A LITTLE negro gamin passing along Bay street yesterday morning saw a stump of a cigar fall on the sidewalk in front of a store. He made a second-base slide for it, and when he had it safely corralled beneath him he rolled his eyes around the points of the compass to see if another gamin had also seen the stump fall. “* Dat war in Cuba is making Havan’s skace, an’ you can’t take no chances,” he remarked, as he brushed off the ash and blew away the sand and dirt from the coveted snipe. Going into the store, he said to Charley Ellis: “Boss, gimme a match, please, sah?" “Matches are not here to give away, but to sell," said Mr. Ellis, assuming a look of intense severity. ** Dey is, eh?” “That's what they are.” “Well, how much is dey er box ?"" “One cent.” The gamin tilted the stump in one corner of his mouth, held to the band of his pantaloons with one hand, ran the other hand in his pocket and pulled forth a copper. “Gimme a box.” And he laid down a cent. He got the box, struck a match, lit the stump so well that it poured forth volumes of smoke, and then handing the box back to Mr. Ellis, assumed a look of intense severity, and said : “Put dat box on de sheff, an’ de nex’ time a gemman come in hyar an’ ax you for a match, you gin him one outen my box."—Fvorida Times-Union. Ir Jameson had known that Laureate Austin would write such a poem about his ride he would have walked.—Soston Courier. “GENTLEMEN, I hate to hear men talk of war as lightly as you do,” said the man next to the door in the street car, ‘* You don't seem to realize what a dread- ful thing war is.” ** You have seen war?” queried one of the two who had been discussing af- fairs. “Aye! I have that, and I don’t want any more of it. War means destruc tion, devastation, wounds, death and debt. If you had seen war as I have seen it, I'm sure you would regard it more seriously.” “Were you wounded?” ** Not exactly wounded, but at the first battle of Bull Run I had to abandon a sutler’s outfit worth over $2,000. Yes, lost over $2,000 at one clip!" “Then you were not a soldier ?"" was asked. “Not exactly a soldier in the ranks, but I kept as near them as possible that they might refresh themselves from my stock. Again at the battle of Antietam, when our patriots moved forward with cheers to crush the enemy, I lost three horses belonging to my outfit and was at least S6oo out of pocket. Even Gen. McClellan himself did not lose $10 in cash by that fight.” ‘* That was hard on a patriot!" sarcastically observed one of the men. “It was, sir, but I had to stand it. Why, how much do you think I lost down at White House Landing when McClellan made his change of base? I had three sutler outfits there, and all were captured or destroyed, and my loss wasn’t acent less than $8,000. Think of a man losing $8,000 at one fell swoop! If I hadn't found a patriotic Congressman willing to go into partnership with me I should have been a ruined man. Principle is all right, but let us avoid war if possible, You have heard of the battle of Gettysburg, of course.” “Oh, yes." “At that battle I offered to lead a brigade in a charge, but’ Gen. Meade thought I had better attend to my five sutler outfits. I had the wagons all up, with fresh stocks of goods, and I have been told that but for my enterprise our tired and hungry soldiers would have been beaten. They left the battle lines to come and buy of me at fifty per cent. profit and recuperate themselves, I am a believer in the Monroe doctrine, and I admire the stand taken by the Presi- dent, but war should be the last resort. I've been there and I know, and while 1 admit that it is a pleasure to sell goods out of a wagon at from 50 to sco per cent. profit, the shrieks of the wounded, the pale faces of the dead, and the wails of the widow and orphan go right to my heart and make me hope that peace will endure forever !"—Detroit Free Press. IGYGLES. ARE THE CHOICE OF EXPERIENCED RIDERS, Those who have learned to know the difference between a wheel that actually is high h rade, and on and one Other Highest of a new Waverley Scorcher 1s ofered to each person who recovers & colon 38 Guring 1800, payable upon presentation to us of satisfactory proot ef ‘This "reward Is open to every one excepting the owner of person in a BICYCLE CO., INDIANAPOLIS, IND that 1s simply claimed to be. jay be good, but the Waverley is the Waverle: of the facts and the sentence of the thiet the stolen wheel, but is not payable to more ethan one ART CATALOGUE FREE BY MALL, Haye Wo id= Wide Re us ion. 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