Life — February 20, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LONG LIFE. Joux OLIVER Hopes has come and gone, leaving a trail of epi- grams behind her. Most of these are characteristically spiced with & malice, and one may serve as a specimen of all the rest. It is related ) that at the theatre one night someone pointed out to Mrs. Craigie a lady in the opposite box as being a well-known American novelist, who, like Mrs. Craigie herself, writes over a masculine nom de guerre. Some | details were added as to her intense and vivid nature. ‘* Why," said the informant, “the other day someone asked her whether she had decided how she would prefer to die; and she answered that she had long ago made up her mind on that point. Said that she had decided to be kissed to death!” Mrs. Craigie put up her lorgnette and took a long look at the lady. “Ah, I see," she said, after a short inspection; ‘she evidently in- tends to be immortal !""—ookman. AT a card party in the Northwest a few evenings ago a cross-eyed man was posing as the man who knew it all, giving his positive opinions on every subject in a loud voice, and otherwise making himself a genera) ys nuisance. A Boston girl was particularly annoyed at the lordly air he EMAL? assumed and the attacks he had made on some of her pet theories. She made up her mind to bow! him over if she ever got a chance. It came sooner than expected. A few minutes later she was the partner of the cross-eyed man, who immediately proceeded to give elaborate instruc- tions as to how certain cards should be played to insure them the game. He finished by saying: ‘‘ Now, go ahead, Miss Back Bay, and remember I have my eye on you.” She never looked up, but in the most innocent way imaginable, said: “Which eye, Mr. Jones ?"— Washington Post. “Do you wish to go up, ma'am ?” asked the elevator boy of the little woman who had been standing round for a quarter of an hour and evidently posting herself on how things worked. “ Any danger ?” she queried. ot the slightest.” “Kin I git out if I feel faint 2" “Oh, yes. Didn't you ever ride in an elevator ?” “Never.” “Well, come along.” She said she'd take a little more time to think about it, and when he had made two more trips she braced up and walked into the cage with the remark * Wall, I might as well be killed as to have Enos bluffin’ around as he has fur the last two weeks. Let 'er go, sonny!" She sat down and closed her eyes and shut her teeth hard and scarcely moved a finger until she was landed on the ground floor again. “ Anything wrong with this 2” asked the boy, as she got out. “Is this all there is to it “This is all, ma'am.” “I've bin clear to the top floor and got down again, hev 1?” “Yes'm. You didn't expect to be killed, did you ?” “Say, boy I" she whispered as ske retied her bonnet strings and set her jaw, ‘‘my man Enos cum to town a few days ago and rid in an elevator, When he got home he told me that his hair stood up, shivers went over him, and both suspenders busted afore he got to the top. He's bin steppin’ high and blufin around and crowin’ over me till I couldn't stand it no longer. I've bin here. I've rid in an elevator. I haven't busted a shoe-string nor lost a button, and whin I git home Enos will cum off the pedestal and quit bluffin’ or a woman about my size don’t know what she's talkin’ about.""—Detroit Free Press. Keep the name in mind. NUB mi Haviland China It is important to buyers that they should be informed that the only ware that has always been known as Haviland China is marked under each piece: Fast Black H&C° COTTON DRESS LININGS L “Rane On White China, siland, STimoges On Decorated China. eee eee GO UT 9? SCHERING'S For Sale by Druggists. LEHN & FINK, Agents, New York. RAZI RECOMMENDED FOR Gravel, Calculus, Lazy Liver, and all Uric “Acid Troubles. WATER WILL CURE IT. WILL NOT CROCK. Ladies and dressmakers everywhere bave proved their high character, Positively unc! eable. Not affected fplration,” Mado in several qu inexpensive Drewes. At All Dry Goods Stores. 400k for this on every yard & the Seteage. Cece SUIO Wa lich WHITMAN'S: INSTANTANEOUS & CHOCOLATE. 5S Take ‘ geHOW TO ake. thres! see. 0