Life — February 20, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FISSERS AT NvLLvS “As a wife, the college girl is hard to beat.” The man with the hollow voice glanced over his shoulder and laughed nervously. “True,” he rejoined, with a palpable effort to be gay. ‘A friend of mine tried to beat one who was his wife, and she threw him into the coal bin, Yes." There were not lacking those to boldly suggest that the man‘s friend was none other than himself.—Detroit Tribune, Iv is said that the Hon. Samuel Galloway of Colum- bus, Ohio, was one of the plainest men ever known in the State. He told many stories relative to his own per- sonal ugliness of face with great good humor. One which he often related with much relish was that of the remark made by the little daughter of a friend in another city with whom he was dining. “ Mamma," he heard the child say, in an awe-struck whisper, after a prolonged survey of the peculiar feat- ures of the guest, “that gentleman's mamma must have loved children mighty well.” ““Why so, my dear?” inquired the unsuspecting parent. “Oh,” returned the child in the same audible whis- per, “‘cause she raised him !"— Youth's Companion. ““ANY amusement in this town to-night?” asked the stranger. “T reckon there's goin’ to be a lecture,” replied the grocery man. ‘I've been sellin’ eggs all day."—At/an- ta Constitution, THEY have been printing recently some of Henry Labouchere’s experiences as a diplomat in the United States. He was, as you will remember, an attache of the British Legation in Washington once upon a time. One day, they tell us, Labouchere was sitting in his office, when a rather noisy individual came in and asked to see the minister. “You can't see him, He's gone out. You must see me. ‘‘Tdon't want to see you. I want to see the boss of the ranch,” said the noisy individual. “All right,” replied Labouchere, going on with his writing. ‘* Take a chair.” ‘The visitor sat and waited for an hour. Then, with several picturesque extracts from profane history, he in- quired how long the boss would be out. “Lshould think about six weeks," replied Labouchere, carelessly. ‘You see, he has just sailed for England.” — Washington Post. It was her first visit to the city, and she was natu- rally much interested in everything she saw. “*Still, | wouldn't live here for the world," she said. ** Wouldn't live here !" exclaimed her city friend. ‘0, indeed, 1 wouldn't.”” But think of the theatres and the opera!" “Very nice, of course,” admitted the country girl, **and I would like to come to the city and see and hear them, but I wouldn't live here, just the same.” “Think of the big stores and the facilities for shop- ping!" persisted the city girl. G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS, NEW YORK. EGENERATION. A Reply to Max Nordau, Wal) Introduction by Nicholas Murray Butler Renaissance Fancies and Studies, By Vernon Lee. The Union College Practical Lectures. New Yj and Chicago: F. Tennyson Neely. ro “Thave.” “And the social gaiety !"* “It’s all very enjoyable, but I'd rather live in the country.” “But we have more of the comforts and luxuries of life, more of everything that makes life worth living.” he country girl shook her hea “You lack the best thing of all,” she said decidedly. ‘*I don’t see how you ever get married. “Married! Idon’t understand you,” returned the irl, Where do you do your cou country girl. city 1&2" asked the “I don’t believe I have seen a front gae A story is told of a parson who had had a call fron alittle country parish to a large and wealthy one ina big city. He asked time for prayer and consideratica. He did not feel sure of his light. A month passed Finally someone met his youngest son in the street said his neighbor ; ‘is your father “Well,” answered the youngster, still prayin’ for light, but most o the things is packed. rer a Pal And b For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter- national News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England,’ Aorxrs. Evnoreax Agrxts—Mesara. Brentano, $7 Avenue de POpers, Paris; Saarbach’s News Exc! T Clarastrame, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, A\ and Switzerland. | pPeans__, THE INK 2aes| WORY SOA So THE SNS aoe Ash OEE A well enforced rule of order and Ivory Soap will make the kitchen an attrac- tive and appetizing spot. Copy rib Ub, by The Procter & Cambie Ca, Cin «o VENDOME-~ sites, BOSTON «cia C. H. Gurzwizar & Co, LOW BRIDCE! Look sharp when buying whiskey, The woods are ful | THe Parisian wits are reviving an old story about the wonderful cure from deaf- ness of a patient who was recommended | eee eciane wopdsars fullito go and hear “Lohengrin,” and to sit| brands which, if you use, will near the orchestra, by the trombones. The| bean injury toyou. The “Old doctor accompanied his patient and sat| Oe eae real cntet| beside him. All of a sudden, while the| : | noise of the instruments was at its loudest, Hon for parity. you cal Buy | tne deaf man found be could hear.‘ Doc-| will not disappoint you. Only | tor,” he almost shrieked, ‘I can hear.” look out that the word Bre) The doctor took no notice. ‘I tell you, | ison the label and our firm . « name on_the cork, capsul doctor, repeated the man, inecstasy, ‘you case and label. No other can) bave saved me. be genuine. ag wo have had| ing.” Still the doctor was silent. every barrel o! e WI ey fi ae ee ee eee ney become deaf himself.—Argonaut. the past 23 years. H.B. KIRK & = All you have guessed about life insurance may be wrong. If WE PAY rei tow ant Win! = OST. by the Penn Mutuat Lire, '921-3-5 Chestnut Street, Phila- ACE. ecptia. A202. TRIAL PACHA Post) 5005 TACO © SCE LTIMORE HOLA Beecham’s pills for con-| stipation 10¢ and 25%. Get| the book at your druggist’s and go by it. | Annual sales more than 6,000,000 boxes, I have recovered my hear- He had LFE~ BINDER Cheap, Strong and Durable. Will hold 26 Numbers, Mailed to any part of the United Stats for $1.00. ESTABLISHED 1063 | 69 Palton St. and Broadway and 27th St, mY. NOTICE, eon (SUBSCRIBERS TO “ LIFE” “Berore Miss Thinleigh's father made his fortune she used to be long and lanky.” will please give old address ec Well, bas she changed ?- | as wellas new when requestin, “Oh, yes! Now she is divinely tall.” | tf e —Tit Bits, | change of same, “Waar! you say that Herr Schmidle, the merchant, has gone blind? Here's a pretty how d'ye do—I've got a bill on the man which is made out, ‘payable at sight’ !"—Dorfearbier, Address Office of ‘‘ LIFE,” comicbooks.com