Life — February 13, 1896 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: GETTING HIS WATCH BACK. Tue following story thust be true, because it happened two weeks ago at Austin and last week in Lake View. Mr. Burton was aroused shortly after midnight by his wife, who said that little Freddie was coughing just as though he had the croup and for him (Mr. Burton) to go and bring the doctor. Thereupon Mr. Burton aroused himself, and assisted by his wife got into his clothes. As his wife was helping him on with his overcoat she asked, “Thomas, have you your revolver ?” Had I better take it?” “should think so. dark,” She handed him the weapon, which he cautiously slipped into the side-pocket of his overcoat where he could keep his band on it. It was indeed a very dark night. He could barely discern the shapes of trees, fences, and houses. As he turned a corner he ran heavily against another man, They collided fully, and then Mr. Burton jumped backward, with his heart in his throat. xcuse me," said the man in the darkness, and he passed on. Burton took a firmer hold on his weapon. Then he hap- pened to think of something. He felt for his watch, It was gone. The fellow had bumped into him so asto slip the watch trom his pocket. Burton drew his revolver and ran after the robber, who It’s late, and the streets are fearfully Ak began to run, “ Stop, of I'll shoot !” shouted Burton. ‘The man stopped and leaned against a fence. ** Now,” said Burton, with revolver advanced, ‘‘ you give me that watch.’ The robber handed it over. “* Now you skip!” And the fellow ran. When Burton reached home he was pale and excited, but quiteexultant. “A footpad ran into me and grabbed my watch,” said he, “but I drew my gun and made him give it back.” HOW TO LITTLE CIGARS. ALL.IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE, FINEST IN QUALITY. 25c. a Bundle, ro in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 25c. H. ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md ‘Tue Ammncan Tosacco Co., Successor. wold 2 ADIPO-MALENE. LE MARSH & CO, Madison Sq, Philadelphia, Pa, “Why, Thomas,” exclaimed nis dismayed wife, “I took the watch out of your vest pocket before you started.” The doctor came in a half-hour later. He was agitated, and he explained that he had been called away on an ur gent case at the time when Mr. Burton called at his house. “And right at this next corner,” he added, “I was held up by the most vil- lainous-looking highwayman you ever saw and robbed of my watch."—Chicago Record. WueEn Representative M, W. Howard, the Populist member from Alabama, first hung out his shingle as a lawyer he was nineteen years of age. His patience was nearly exhausted by days spent in vain waiting for his first client to come, when one day he heard a knock at the door. On calling ‘Come in!" adarky, known as Sam, stepped into the little office. “What can I do for you ?” the lawyer asked, as visions of his first fee came to him. "Scuse me, sah,” said Sam, ‘‘ but ‘deed I wants to see you on pertikler biz- nes Mr, Howard, thinking that the man most likely wanted a divorce, said, “Sit down and explain everything carefully.” “Deed, sah, I would like to close de dore, fo' de bizness am mighty per- tickler,” said Sam. After having closed the door he took the proffered seat. Then he explained : “Sah, [has got a gurl in Georgah dat 1 wants you to write a lettah to fo me." ** Do you love her ?” asked the lawyer. ‘‘Do you want to marfy her? Does she love you 2?” and many other questions of a like nature. To all of these questions Sam replied, ‘ Suttingly.” The replies being satisfactory, he proceeded to write the letter. After hav- ing finished it he read it to Sam to see whether it agreed with his ideas. ““'Scuse me, boss,” said Sam, scratching his woolly head; “*'scuse me if I offer a sugghestan ; I would like to put something else in dar also. Something like dis: “De roses am red, And de vylets bloo ; De pinks am preaty, And so is you. And having put it in, Howard asked if that was all. Sam scratched his woolly head a minute and then said, ** Boss, dar am one mo’ thing dat ought to go in dar—dis, ‘I hopes dat you will 'scuse de pore, mizrable writin’ and de bad spellin’.' "— Washington Post. A WesTERN Congressman is quoted as saying that when he first entered Congress he wondered how he ever got there, but later on he wondered Aow any of them ever got there.—Our Dumb Animals. aang > Pweeeeerres ‘A Symbol st Purity Containing a large percentage of B urest glycerine—undeniably the most > Pealthtal and healing ingredient of ap perfect toilet soap. The trade-mark > No, 4711" on each tablet. i MULHENS & KROPFF, N.Y., U.S. Agents. 5 teeta) THE THERES NOTHING LIKE IT ULL LIFE BINDER + WILL HOLD CHEAP, STRONG, DURABLE 26 NUMBERS. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1. Address Office of LIFE,” 19 West Thirty-first Street, New York.