Life — February 6, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“You asi “That THE WHEEL OF WEALTH. A TALE OF MAGIC. NCE there was a man who wanted to be wealthy. You are surprised? Nodoubt, for he was unique in this respect. And, moreover, he wished to become wealthy by some easy method. What, you cannot believe it? Nevertheless, it is true. So one night when a magician happened to be taking tea with him, he expressed his desire. “Nothing easier, my dear sir,” said the magician; “that sort of thing is right in my line.” “But do you understand what 1 want?” asked the man, ‘'I have read of some Eastern priests who pray by simply turning a wheel. I would like to grow wealthy by some manner as le and easy.” Exactly,” said the magician, ‘and I can fx you up in a jiffy,” with which words he waved his magic wand and a large wheel with acrank attachment appeared on the floor. “There you are!" said the magician; ‘all you have to do is to turn the handle and you will grow wealthy. The more you turn, the wealthier you will grow. Good night,” and so saying he vanished. The man was eager to try his new-gotten prize, and he stepped up to the wheel, and taking astout grip on handle, turned it. ME TO PUT VON GLASS LAGER ON SHLATE UNT YOU DUNK TREE GLASSES, AIN'T IT? ALL RIGHT, IT ONLY PROVES THERE! YOU GAVE ME CREDIT FOR, SEE?” MORE IN ME THAN IN EASY STEPS. It evidently needed oil, for he turned it with difficulty. So he called his wife and bade her fetch the sewing machine oil. And she brought it. . Then he oiled the machine and it worked a little easier, but not much; so he spat on his hands and took off his coat, and went to work in earnest. And that night he worked until 1: P. M. When he arose in the morning, he went to work at once at the wheel, and so intense was his anxiety to grow wealthy, he hardly paused for his meals, and he worked until very late that night. And thus every day he worked at his wheel, and he knew he was becoming very wealthy, as the magician had told him he would, and he had faith in the magician ; for the magician was an imported one, from Paris, and bore the genuine trade mark. Now the wheel had an automatic register, and by looking at the register the man could tell just how wealthy he was becoming, and he was greatly pleased to find that he was becoming the richest man in the world. But one day he turned the wheel so rapidly that he broke a blood-vessel in his brain and died. And immediately the magician appeared, and the register dropped to zero. The magician took the wheel under his arm and started away with it, but the man’s wife came into the room and stopped him, and bade him leave the wheel. The magician laughed, and said : “Oh, no! It would do you no good. This wheel is a fake; it does not make men wealthy. Your husband only thought it did. But it was just as well, for he had the pleasure of thinking himself wealthy, and he worked himself to death, as he would have done’ under any circumstances. And now that he is dead, it makes no particular difference to him.” So saying, the magician departed with the wheel, and as he went he said to himself: ‘1 am glad he died, for. cannot turn out these wheels fast enough to supply the demand,” and he laughed. And then he shook his head, and said: ‘* What fools these mortals be !”” _ Ellis Parker Butler. THE BEST THEY COULD DO. ON'T you sometimes make a mistake and lynch the wrong man ? "asked the visitor from the East. ‘‘We did once,” replied the native, ‘but we offered to do the square thing by the widder. “How was that?” ‘We told her she could take the pick of the crowd for her second husband.” ‘A PROPER ACCOMPANIMENT. OLONEL HAIN, general manager of the ‘‘L” roads, is getting tired of the complaint of patrons that the oil used on the cars is 80 poor they can’t see to read newspapers. In order to settle the matter he has sent several samples to the State Board of Health, and Professor Tucker will make an analysis. A much better way would be for Professor Tucker to come down to New York and take a ride on the elevated road. He might then be able to give a more intelligent opinion. But he should bring a telescope along with him, in order to take the necessary astronomical observations.