Life — January 30, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tue train was about ten miles west of Ypsilanti when an oldish man came into the car with a bill in his hand and called out : “Kin any purson here change a $10 bill for me 2” Everybody was willing to try, and he finally got two fives. Then he wanted one of them broken, and he finally found a passenger who said he could give him five ones. ““['ll take ‘era,” replied the man, “but then I shall want somebody to bust a dollar fur me.” “ Will two halves do ?” asked a woman as she investigated her purse. “Yes, if I can’t git four quarters,” he replied. ‘I'm sorry to make all this trouble, but you see how it is. The old woman has sorter decided to stop off at Ypsilanti and visit her sister fur three or four days, while I go to Detroit and back. Her sister mayn't be home, and she'll naturally feel a little queer without any money. I thought I'd give her a quarter, but if I can’t git it, why I'll let her take fifty cents, though I know I'll never see any of it back. She'll go down town and run through a dollar in less'n two hours, and I have to keep a curb on her.” He finally got a quarter, and th “told woman” had it tied up in the corner of her handkerchief as she got off at Ypsilanti.—Detrott Free Press. A Popular Definition: : A RuRAL visitor at a Fourth avenue restaurant the other day had his first experience with waffles. He had stumbled upon them somehow in his bill of fare, and seemed to be overjoyed with the flavor of the novel edible. So great was his power of waffle consumption that he kept his waiter at a lively pace between his table and the kitchen, Even then the waffles didn’t come fast enough to keep up with his appetite, and he made this helpful suggestion to the waiter: ‘Say, mister, bring along them cakes a little faster, can't you? They're powerful good eatin’, an’ I ain't goin’ to stop till I git plum full. Tell that feller out there heneedn’t stop to put that printin’ on ‘em—just send ‘em in plain.”—Loursville Courier-Journal, That young minister from Christianendeavorville isa perfect fraud. How so? p: Why, we went out for a moonlight stroll together last evening, and when we were miles away from everybody else, he said that he wanted to tell me the old, old story. Well? Well,—I told him to go on—you know—and what do you think! He began to tell me about Jesus !—/ury. The SHAWKNIT MALF-HOSE are the half-hose that are knitted to the shape of the human foot; they are the half-hose whose colors stand sunlight, soap and perspiration, and they are the halt-hose that wear a long time before darning becomes necessary. THEY COMBINE ALL THE GOOD QUALITIES. CP Look ror THE TRAPE-MARK ‘WHICH IS STAMPED ON THE TOE. SOLD BY THE TRADE GENERALLY. Descriptive Price-List, free, to any applicant. Beautiful Castle Calendar, free. to any appli SHAW STOCKING CO. cant mentioning this publication Lowell, Mass. nf Bioware a lon, ARE THE CHOICE OF EXPERIENCED RIDERS, ‘Those who have learned to know the difference between a wheel that actually is high grade. and one that is Wi claimed to be. Others may be good. but the Waverley 1s the Highest of all High Grades. D anew, Waveriey ‘Scorcher Is offered to each person who recovers a stolen 05 Waverley during 1806, payable upon presentation to us of satisfactory proof of the Ww and the sentence of the thief. This reward ss open to every one excepting the owner of the stolen wheel, but is not payable to more than one person in he fas ART CATALOGUE FREE BY MAIL INDIANA BICYCLE CO., INDIANAPOLIS, IND The o} awarded at the Paris Exhibition 1889. U T | N Ee V E L oO HYGIENIC, ADNCRENT & INVISIBLE, TOILET POWDER — CEX. FAW, Inventor 9, tze de la Palx, Paris.— Caution. None Cenaine but those bearing the word “FRANCE” and the signature CH. FAY. CORPUS LEAN ABSOLUTELY, [geo guan adam Will reduce fat at rate of 10 to 15 tbe. Simpl ‘month ry to health. efecto of Rede seer pas eealed elrealars the pateral sorting LE March Oo. eo the fat and reduces a ‘Burlington! WINTER Route Ee TOURS IN PRIVATE PULLMAN PALACE CARE Under care of a Special Agent, will leave Chicago vanuary 9, February 6 and March 6, for CALIFORNIA Via San Antonlo, El Paso, Los Angeles, San Diego, Santa Barbara, San Francisco, Del Monte and San Jose, returning via Salt Lake and Rio Grande Scenic Route through Colorado. Price of ticket Includes all expenses, Everything STRICTLY FIRST CLASS For pamphlets with particulars apply to ©.,B &Q. ticket agent or toT. A. Grady, Manager Excursion Department, 2! Clark St., Chicago. comicbooks.com