Life — January 16, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MEMNER of a well known athletic club, riding along at an easy pace, was overtaken by another wheel which didn't turn out in time, and a rear end collision was the result. When the clubman recovered from the shock, he found himself lying on his back with the baggy knee of a pair of trousers across his face. Furious at the stupidity of the other rider, he struggled to get up, shouting : “Why the devil do you ride like that ?” “Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” said a plaintive voice. all tangled up.” “Oh, Lord! a girl,” groaned the young man, ‘ And I went and swore at her," and his contrition increased when he picked himself up and saw gazing at him from around the wreckage a very pretty face, flushed with mortification, Lifting the owner to her feet, the young man tried to apologize. * Awfully sorry. 1 thought that it was some idiot of a man that had run into me. That is—er—er—I don’t mean you're an idiot, you know ; if I'd known that you were, I wouldn't have sworn at you. No, no, I don’t mean that either. I'm a little rattled, you see, but I thought it was a man when I saw your trousers. ‘That is, I thought your—er—garments were trousers of a man you know. If I'd known those trousers were bloomers —I mean if I'd known it was a girl who wore “1 didn't mean to. I'm trousers— Oh, darnitall ! I apologize,” aud the youth mounted and sped away so madly that he narrowly escaped wrecking a street car, leaving the girl redder than before.—Chicago Journal. Wan is a fearful thing under all circumstances, and some of the most dread- ful wars have been waged on the most flimsy and foolish pretext, even if they had a pretext at all, But probably no stranger reason for war or peace was ever recorded than has been noted by a French governor of the South Pacific colony of New Caledonia. This governor, who was also an admiral of the navy, assumed his authority while the natives of New Caledonia were still cannibals. There had been rumors of an insurrection, and the admiral called before him a native chief who was faithful to the French cause and questioned him as to their truth. “You may be sure,” said the native, ‘that there will be no war at present, because the yams are not yet ripe.” “The yams, you say ?” “Yes. Our people never make war except when the yams are ripe.” “ Why is that?” ** Because baked yams go so very well with the captives !"—Exchange. ‘ These Three Epithets a, 2 aE. ain ae, a Ph | BEST - FITTING F BEST - WEARING BEST - LOOKING . ARE FOUND TO BE APPLICABLE TO THE.. Phacthrdi Half=-Hose ; THEY, OR THEIR EQUIVALENTS, OCCUR IN EARLY EVERY TESTIMONIAL. Ca"None Genuine unless stamped Sawin on the toe. Descriptive Price-List, free, to any applicant Reautiful Castle Calendar. free. to any appli- ‘cant mentioning this publication. Ridden by the Elite Of both continents. Elegant in Design, Superb in Finish. The acme of perfection in cycle construction. SHAW STOCKING CO. LOWELL, MASS. Above 3 actual size. Send two-cent stamp and we will mall FREE Our SOUVENIR GAME COUNTER Art catalogue describing ladies’ and gentlemen's models free by mail. INDIANA BICYCLE CO., a INDIANAPOLIS, IND. awarded at the Paris U The o} i f SPECIAL, HYGIENIC, ADHCRENT & INVISIBLE, TOILET POWDER — CEX. FAW, ‘inventor 9, tue de ta Palx, Parls.— Canticn, None Genuine but those bearing the word “FRANCE” and the sirnatare CH. FAY. RHINE * VIOLETs (Name Registered.) THE QUEEN OF PERFUMES If you want a real Violet Perfume, be sure you get “Mo. ATI Rhine Violets” THIOK OR THIN, Can be PARQUET FLOORS PLAIN OR ORNAMENTAL. lald over old or new floors. ‘Write for New Design Book. THE INTERIOR. HARDWOOD CO. Mosofacterers, INDIANAPOLIS, IND. It is not a combination cl other scents, but is abso- lutely true to the flower. Cut this advertisement out.and show it to your dealer. r MOLHENS & KROPFF, New York, U.8-Ageata OF FINEST WOODS comicbooks.com