Life — January 9, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE As an example of woman as a diplomatist, the Evening Sun prints this MANY of Mr. Labouchere’s mots have been recorded. One or two will bear repetition. Once, in the House, he referred to the conduct of some political opponent as being ‘ un- worthy of a pettifogging attorney,” and, being called upon by the speaker to withdraw this unparliamentary expression, did so, declaring that he was glad of having an opportunity of retracting it, “as it was a great injustice to the attorney.” So, again, on being informed that a wealthy nobleman had bequeathed a very large sum of money to the church, he remarked that that ‘was the largest insurance against fire he had ever heard of.” On another occasion he was visiting a parvenu, who had a very exclusive library of the newest books. Labouchere had taken down one of these volumes, which had never known the paper-knife. The parvenu said h, you see, I am surrounded by my friends!” pointing to the books. ‘ Yes,” responded Labouchere, “‘and I am glad to see that you haven't cut them yet.” Once, after visiting the House of Lords, he was asked what he thought of it, as compared with the Commons. “* Well,” was the reply, “I might almost have imagined myself in Heaven if it hadn't been for the presence of so many bishops."—Pittsburg Bulletin. Not long after Lincoln's election to the Presidency, he was in his office in the old State-house in Springfield, when a tall, lank countryman put his head into the door and asked to see Mr. Lincoln. He was from Kansas, he explained, and with bis family was going back to Indiana, He had voted for Mr. Lincoln, and wanted to see him. Mr, Lincoln received his unconventional caller with politeness, and presently the man asked : ‘ What kind of a tree is that below there in the yard 2" It was a warm November day, and the window was open. Mr, Lincoln looked out, and said: “It isa cypress. I suppose you would have known it if you had been on the ground.” “+ No, I don't mean that,” said the countryman ; ‘+1 mean the other one nearer the house. You will have to lean farther out.” Mr. Lincoln leaned out, and then straightening up, he said: "There is no other one.” ‘*No?" said the man. ‘Well, do you see that woman and them three children over therein that wagon? That is my wife and children. Itold them I would show them the President-elect of the United States, and I have. Good-bye, Mr. Lincoln.” And so saying, he stalked down-stairs. Argonaut. “Mrs. A, had gone away from home for a day's vis townswoman, Mrs. B., decided, after the rural, spend the night with Mrs. A. an entrance and found the house deserted. home,’ she said to herself. Night came. philosophized Mrs. B., out of her senses,’ So the unexpected guest hostess, During her absence her self-inviting fashion, that she In spite of Mrs. A.'s absence the thing was ey accomplish, for the latch-keys of the two houses were alike. Mrs. B. therefore ef *Oh, well, I'll just wait till Mrs. A. i no Mrs. A. ‘I won't light a ig “because seeing a light in the house might scare Mrs. A. sat in the dark awaiting the arrival d At last the rattle of Mrs. A.'s key was heard in the door-latch. She ex the house and slowly made her way to the ‘sitting-room,’ of course unconscioes there was another human being within breathing range. suddenly spoke a voice from the darkness; ‘it’s only I, Mrs. B. “Don't be frightened Mr I didn’t light a} for fear you'd be scared, you know, and —.' But the diplomatic Mrs. B. never fil her sentence, for just here Mrs. A, fell on the floor in a dead faint. should have been so scared,’ said Mrs. B. afterward ; to frighten her.""—Argonaut. “Te was quer “for I took every precaution Dr, Ricnarp Bussy, the second centenary of whose death was celebrated rem at Westminster School, where he was headmaster for fifty-seven years, was a disc arian of the old school. When Charles the Second visited the school, Dr. Busby atq the king to take off his hat while he kept on his own, on the ground that discipline. not be maintained if the boys should believe that there was a greater man in Exys than their headmaster. set upon by the boys. A Frenchman once to the doctor to demand an explanation, but wandered into the school playground. Dr. Busby saw the row, and ordered those engaged to be The Frenchman was taken with the boys and flogged, too. He then went in bis as he could not speak English well, ate] few words the doctor got angry, and ordered him to be horsed, which was done. Frenchman, mad with rage, went to his inn, the porter. too much for the Frenchman. First DecabeNT : reineing.) Secoxp Decapex First DEcapent: weeks? toot.)—Exchange. He packed How I envy Algy. Ab! why, deah boy ? Ah, he’s got paresis, dontcherknow. wrote a challenge, and sent it to Bus The doctor read the challenge, and at once had the porter horsed. That is valise and fled in terror to France.—& (Smokes three packs of cigarettes we (Drinks two bottles of absinthe) (They go off ona‘ For slo by all Newslealers in Great Rritain. Company. Rrcam’s Building, London, EC, England, doaxts. The Inter Chancery Lane, Evrorgax Adi Paria; Naart ExT. ‘Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 Mewrs. Urentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opery reac, , Agents for Uermany, Austria and Switzeriand. IvoRY SOAP The muddy tinge of shirts, handkerchiefs, napkins, and table cloths just from the wash, is often from the poor soap. It will cost little, if any more, to have them washed with Ivory Soap. Te Paocten & Gawmie Co., Cnet, It is Honest. Te will nog disappoint you It will be beneficial to you. yee DERIVED FROM THES IISA. MG suspicion, VAL PUNE OLD CROW “RYE” aitricutr firm name on the case, cork. capsule, and label. are imitations H. B. KIRK & CO., SA DELIGHTFUL 69 Fulton St., N.Y. —> BLEND ONCE. JHE — \ RESULT + WILL PLEASE us BOTH RE { A A202. Z.JRIAL PACKAGE FOR 25CeHTS, MARBURG BROS (> sceugeeach ces Estanuiswen 1853 and go by it. Annual sales more than 6,000,000 boxer. Like Caesar's wife, it is above Don’t buy it unless the word RYB is on the label and our All others Also Broadway and 27th St. Beecham’s pills for con- stipation roc. and 25c, Get the book at your druggist’s The New GARDEN CITY HOTEL, Garden City, Long Island. Now open. WINTER SEASON. Situated in a park of thirty acres. Piazzas enclosed in glass with southerly exposure, and heated by steam. Cuisine unexceiled, Rates— Transient, $3.50 per day and upward: by the week, $20.0 and upward, Special terms for season guests. For booklet and further in. formation, address M. F. MEEHAN, Manager, Garten ney Long Island, or THE GARD) EN Room'1s7, No. a80 Broadway. | re es HOTEL e* 20 | »o VENDOME" souievart, BOSTON weatth'Sve. C. H. Greeytear & Co. RETURN TO FORMER MANAGEMENT. HAMILTON HOTEL, HAMILTON, BERMUDA. NOW OPEN. For circulars and information address, MEAD & BROOKS, Managers. used on THE INK sesucsed FRED'K H. LEVEY CO., 69 Beekm: “+ LITTLe boy,” said a gentleman, do you hold that umbrella over your It’s not raining.” * And the sun is not shining.” “Then why do you carry it?” “*Cause when it rains father wants when the sun shines mother wants 4 it’s only when it’s this sort of weat I can get to use it at all."—London J Dk. THomas AvGusTINE ARSE, 0 poser of England’s famous national “Rule Britannia,” was once called judge between two very bad singers. patiently hearing them, he said to oot contestants “You are the worst singer I ever my life.” “Ah!” cried the other, exultingly, . Arne. You cat at all!"— Exchange. O'’Rorxe: Father Flaherty's 2 praste an’ an iloquent preacher. O’Garanan: Av coorse, but Father! ens (Episcopal) made the best spache cilibration, he did. O'RorKe: Father Staphens! father, fer he has foive childers, Shame on yez.—AMethodist Herald.