Life — January 2, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THeRe was aman riding on the rear platform of a car with a package between his feet, that attracted the attention of a little man, ** Ever read Sherlock Holmes ?” * Yes, sir.” **Great hand to deduce and conclude, wasn't he?” Presently he queried : ** But no greater than I am, For instance, you have a tea kettle in that paper. It follows that you area married man, Being a married man it follows that your wife has been asking you about four times a week for the last year to buy that kettle. Having been a year in buying it, the inference is that you are absent-minded in a general way, and have little concern for things around the house. The chances are that you will leave the tea kettle in the car when you get off and forget that you ever bought it. Am I correct ?” ‘ou are an ass!" was the blunt reply. “ My dear sir, I have every reason to believe that —" You have lots of gall to talk to me as you have,” interrupted the tea kettle man. “1 was simply trying to prove to you that Sherlock Holmes only —" “*What do I care about Sherlock Holmes? Who are you, sir, that yoo presume to be so familiar ?” “*My name is Horntackle, and I like to deduce and conclude. irascible man, it naturally follows that your poor wife has ——” “If Thad you on the sidewalk I'd punch your head, sir. You have said quite enough, I'll remember your mug, and if I ever catch you on the ground I'll teach you manners !" With that he got off. He not only got off, but left his tea kettle. The litte man held it up to him and waved it on high and yelled to him, and the conductor stopped the car, but the man would not return for it, After having been to that he would leave that tea kettle behind and after having left it, he would net have claimed it for a million dollars.—Axchange. Being aa AN old Confederate, after giving a very brief account of the war to his littk granddaughter, had her put to him the question: ‘* Then your side was beatea, grandpa, wasn’t it?” ‘Ob, no, my child, they only got the better of us, and one would think we must have made it pretty hot for them from the amoust of pensions they are drawing on their disablements."— Exchange. ITS. NOT PENNY WISE AND POUND FOOLISH BUT REALLY ECONOMICAL... To Buy the Shawknit Half-Hose THE CHEAPEST IN THE END OUTWEARING ALL OTHERS, THEY ARE FOUND TO BE E-L00K rox tHe Teave-wanx OPkaerEres SOLD BY THE TRADE GENERALLY. ¢ Price-List, free. to any applicant. Beautiful Castle Calendar. free. to any appli- ing this public: Se | IGYGLES, Ridden by the Elite Of both continents. Elegant in Design, Surperb in Finish. The acme of perfection in cycle construction. INDIANA BICYCLE CO., SHAW STOCKING CO. LOWELL, MASS. Do You Play Cards? Above }{ actual size. Send two-cent stamp and wo will mall FREE Our SOUVENIR GAME COUNTER Art catalogue describing ladies’ and gentlemen's models free by mail. = INDIANAPOLIS, IND. TRATED Nee Quip EXTRACT OF WHICH 1S STAMPED ON THE TOE. SUBSTITUTE FOR SOLID FOOD ooo by ORewinc co” $7 BROOKLYN NY P) Essence RHINE « VioLets (Name Registered.) The o: awarded at the Paris Exhibition 1889. VELO U TOILET POWDER — CEX. FAW, Inventor 9, Rue de ta Patx, Parls.— Caution. None Genuine but those bearing the word “FRANCE” and the sirnatare CH. FAY. TINE HYGIENIC, ADHCRENT & INVISIBLE, THE QUEEN OF PERFUMES If you want a real Violet Perfume, be sure you get eee ““No.ATII Rhine Violets” BEIGE it is not a combination of other scents, but is abso- lutely true to the flower. Cut this advertisement out and show it to your CORPUS LEAN vu Genoa eg Rerge raat taperz,te Beaten: TUT covertog testimosials. LE. Marsh Co. 9815 Madison Sq., Philada, Pa. the sateral working on the fat and reduces ABSOLUTELY HARMLESS. egrets of ote PoeSeppiy Seng sapped, ‘ie ayutem draws weight at once. Bold by all Draggiste. dealer. MUOULHENS & KROPFF, New York, U.S.Agents ‘TRANSPARENY KXIFR, Name. address, pi under bandie, Nov. Cut. Co. Canton,