Life — January 2, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘* ARE you the man who painted that ‘ere picture of ‘Mose in the Bulrushes ?’" asked a countryman of an artist, who had recently startled the town by an exhibition of oil paint- ings, “ Yes,” replied the artist, All right; then I want you to paint my father.” ertainly, if he gives me a few sittings.” “Can't do it ; he’s dead.” Let me have a photograph of him.” Can't dothat, neither. He never had his picture taken.” “Tam afraid, then, I must decline.” “Decline? What for? Haven't you painted Moses ? You didn’t have a photograph of him, did you? No, 1 thought not. Well, my father hain't been dead nearly so long as Moses. If you can paint Moses, you ought to know enough to paint my father," Appreciating the situation, the artist went to work, and evolved such a portrait as he thought might satisfy :0 original a son. “ Crikey 1 exclaimed this art patron, on seeing the com- pleted painting. ‘* That almost knocks the stuffing out of Moses ; but, I say, how he has changed !"— Exchange. A CERTAIN. schoolmaster occasionally compares the achievements of his pupils with the work of noted men in their boyhood days, much to the scholars’ dis- advantage. “Now, John, have you solved the problem ?" asked the teacher the other day. “No, sir,” replied the boy, * I can't.” “\ How old are you, John ?” teen,” was the answer, ixteen,” repeated the instructor, ‘Sixteen, and can't solve a simple problem like thay Why, sir, at your age George Washington was surveying the estate of Lord Fairfax.” The pupil looked thoughtful, but made no reply. After the class was dismissed, a classmate inquired of him if Washington ever did anything else remarkable when he was sixteen. ‘Idon't know,” responded the boy. ‘He was a sur- veyor when he was as old as 1am, and when he was as old as our teacher he was President of the United States."— Philadelphia Call. AN Englishman, traveling on the Continent, engaged the services of a smart courier, and on arriving at ao inn one evening he sent him for the traveler's register that he might enter his name, in accordance with the Austrian police regulations, The man replied that he had anticipated his wishes, and registered him as an“ English gentleman of independent means. But how did you write my name?” “1 can't exactly pronounce it, but I copied it faithfully from Milor's portmanteau.” * But it is not there. Bring me the book.” What was our traveler's amazement at finding, instead of a very plain English name of two syllables, the following portentous entry: ** Monsieur Warrantedsolidleather."— Devon Gazette. oP NEW YORK AND Losty Leve and Laughter By James G. Burnett. The Ked Republic, Ry Robert W. Chambers. STONE AND KIMBALL, CHICAGO. The Sin-Eater and Other Tales and Episode. Fiona Macleod. The Sister of a Saint and Other Stories. By Ellery Channing. The Father of the Forest and Other Poems. ByW Watson, Nor long ago, the following advertisement peared in one of the leading journals of Video : “A very rich young woman would like to ma young man of good family. If necessary, she pay the debts of her future husband. Send a with photograph, to I. P., at the office of this ja The inserter of this announcement was no than one Isaac Meierstein, a merchant tailor, just set up an establishment in Monte Video. plan he procured photographs of many unde customers, ~ Exchange. “TL see that you have been buying a bicyd casually remarked, as they sat side by side sofa. “Yes.” ‘Cash or instalment?” © dollars a week,” she admitted. And thus it wa unknowingly caused him to postpone his propos nearly a yeur.—/ndianapolis Journal, Newnteaiers io Great Britain. | The fnter pany, Bream's Building, ‘Chancery land, Aoxwrs, EUROPEAN AGENTS—Mesrrs, Zarb Denreachy News Snaoge. any, Agents for Germany, Austria abd Switseriand. If Ivory Soap is used, it is a beautifier as well. 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In the opinion of a prominent English expert, the New York Central possesses the most perfect system of block signals in the world, $¢ hours, New York to Buflalo; 9M hours, New York to Niagara Falls; 24 hours, New York to Chicago; 21 hours, New York to Cincinnati; 29 hours, New Vork to St, Louis, via the New York Central. THE TRAVELERS Or Hartrorp, Conn, Is the Oldest Accident Company In America, the The most comfortable route to St. Louis is the New York Central. The best line to Cincinnati is the New York Central, through Buffalo and Cleve- low as will give permanent security lage. land. ig the face value of the policy. Policies world-wide, and as liberal as consist ant with the Company's keeping alive to pay claims at all. executed. Special Imported Novelties in Fancy The direct line to Niagara Falls is the New York Central. Linen and all Lace Centre Pieces, Assets, $17,664,000. Surplus, $2,472,000. Doylies, Handkerchiefs, Lace Inserted Pald Pollcy-Holders, $27,000,000 Table and Tea Cloths, Lace Bed- oe coe lel eeae: spreads and Silk Bed Quilts. 391 Fifth Ave. Traveling by the New York Central, you start from the center of the City of New York, and reach the center of every important city in the country, JAMES G. BATTERSON, President. RODNEY DENNIS, Secretary.