Life — December 26, 1895 — page 50: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE He was a bachelor, while the other man upon whom he was calling wasa a singular dream alt you last night." “Indeed. What was it?” ‘Why, I~ young married man, and the visitor felt very much like a fish out of water. dreamed that I died and went to Heaven, I knocked at the golden gate and was | The year before they had been inseparable chums, with the same tastes, the answered by Peter, who asked my name and address and told the recording angel same habits. Now everything was changed, The young benedict seemed to be just to bring his book. He had considerable difficulty in finding my name and —— as sociable and talkative as ever, but his old chum was ill at ease. He felt like making a bolt for the door, and with difficulty restrained himself. His nerves were at high tension, and he sat watching the door pathetically, expectantly, like the felon awaiting the coming of his executioner. The door opened finally and a woman wearing a white cap and apron entered with a very young baby in her arms. “+ Here he is," said the married one. “Here's my son and heir. Isn't he a beauty, Jack, eh 2” Jack made some idiotic remark about the baby’s sex. “Oh, yes.” said the father. “Hado't you heard? It’s a boy, of course.” “Certainly. I might have known, Jack gasped. “It's got hair on its head.” ‘The father laughed, but Jack looked solemn. hesitated so long over the entry when he did find it that I was terribly afraid something was wrong, but he sud- denly looked up and asked : “What did you say your name was?’ I told him again. ‘Why,’ said he, ‘ you have no business here. You're not due these ten or fifteen years yet.” “*Well, said I, ‘Dr. Yandel said— ‘Ob, you're one of Yandell’s patients, are you? That accounts for it. Come right in! Come right in! That man's always upsetting our calculations in some way.’"— Buffalo Express. Witt | I :+1 It was one of Platt Evans's pleas- , [= ures to teach his friends how to purchase tender geese, though he could not always get them in the market. One morning he saw a lot, and inquired how many there were. “About a dozen,” was the reply. + Wew-well,” said Platt, ‘1 k-k-eepa “Baby's got a tooth,” said the | b-oarding-house, and my b-b-boarders father proudly. ENCOURAGEMENT. are the biggest e-eaters you ever ** Only one ? "queried the bachelor, Boy: YER A DOIN’ SPLENDID FOR A FIRST ATIEMPT AT A SUMMERSAULT ! resaw. P-p-pick out nine of; the) and then he had a bright idea.“ Of ST _— : ttoughest you've g-g-got.” The course, that needn't worry you,” he farmer complied, and laid aside the said, ‘I should think you might get a false set pretty cheap. Such asmall other three tender ones. Platt picked them up carefully, and, putting them in his kid, y'know ?"—PAiladelphia Record. basket, said, ‘I b-b-believe I'll take these three."— Exchange. Tue late Dr. Yandell, of Chicago, was fond of telling the following joke: “*So he has broken his pledge ?” A lady patient one morning grected him with the remark ; ‘* Doctor, I had such “Yes, his weakness was too strong for him.”—@oston Courier. TONIC. 0 cen TRATED, peep A’. LIQUID EXTRA Gentlemen’s Fur Lined Coats, ROBES, RUGS, CAPS *” GLOVES. 11 East 19th Street, BETWEEN BROADWAY and sth AVENUE. icbooks.com