Life — December 26, 1895 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

24 > LIFE: CHRISTMAS ADVICE FOR A BABY. EING too young as yet to understand the real signiti- cance of Christmas, not much will be expected of you. You can, however, do your part. Crying is, of course, always in order, and although somewhat hackneyed, can be carried on to great advantage during the day and evening. To this can be added, just as the guests are seated at the dinner table, unmistakable signs of £4¢kés, or common colic. When everybody has gotten up from the table to come to your rescue, you can quiet down. After they are seated, begin again. Redouble your efforts when any one but your mother takes you up. This will please her and disconcert the rest. By being alert and using your talents in the right direction, you can have the doctor sent for twice and keep everybody in a pleasurable state of excitement until Christmas is num- bered with the past. You will find it hard work, but it pays. THE BULLET-PROOF VEST. ‘LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DIS YOUNG MAN HAS KINDLY COx- SENTED TO SHOOT AT ME AT TWENTY PACES.” “DE YOUNG MAN W. DE VEST REMAINS UN ERVOUS, | FEAR, BUT YOU WILL NOTICE CTURED.” comicbooks.com