Life — December 26, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wuen Mrs. S. C. Hall was at least seventy years old, she met at a reception a young clergyman, who was apparently delighted to see her.‘ Mrs. Hall,” said he, ** I remember reading your books when I was a child, and that I was especially charmed by the Irish stories.” ‘* Then, sir,” flashed Mrs. Hall, ‘if you read my books when you were a child, you ought to know better than to say so !"—Ex. At high noon I rode toa settler's dugout on the banks of the Republican River to see if I could get a bite to eat, but before I had dismounted from my horse a woman came out and saluted me with : “ Hello! stranger—ar' ye arter the Widow Smith ?” ‘I don't know any Widow Smith,” I replied, as I noticed that she was bare- footed, hair uncombed and her general appearance very slouchy. “1'm her.” “Well, I'm sorry you lost your husband. Can I get a bite to eat?” “Then you wasn’t makin’ for here ?” she queried. “No “ Wasn't headed this way bekase you heard 1 was a widder ?” “Didn't know I had a claim, four children, mewls 2” “And you are not on the marry ?” she persisted. “Thave a wife, madam.” “Shoo. I've had two husbands and buried both, Jest want a bite to eat?” “+ If it won't be too much trouble and you'll take pay.” “And you are not lookin’ arter widders ?” “No, ma'am. I'm going up to Herbert on business, and I was told to take this trail as the shortest route. Did you say I could have dinner ?” v this dugout and a span of Also a beautiful exhibition of the latest designs at prices from $85.00 upwards. “nr A few genuine Chippendale and Sheraton styles at very moderate cost. SHREVE, CRUMP & LOW CO., 147 TREMONT ST., BOSTON. GOUT? SCHERINGS ~wwewe PIPERAZI WATER LEHN & FINK, Agents, New York. Gravel, Calculus, Lazy Liver, and all Uric “*No, I didn't say it!” she replied, as she turned away. ‘* If you was headed for here to see the Widder Smith she'd sot out the best she had in the house, but bein’ as you are headed fur Herbert and not lookin’ arter widders Mrs, Smith begs to inform you that she don’t run no hotel, and you kin ride on five miles further or fill up on water from the creek !"—Detroit Free Press. In the free and easy intercourse of ocean travel on the smaller steamers, it happened on a recent voyage that one of the society leaders of a large Eastern city permitted herself to unbend generously to a bright young Western woman, a writer of well-known ability, but limited as to fashionable knowledge of some things. One night these two, with their prospective parties, were having a merry lunch in the saloon. Spying a familiar looking dish on the table, our litte Western woman exclaimed with animation : “ Raspberry jam! How nice! Please pass it to me!" An awkward silence fell on the party as the elegant representative of her city’s social organism remarked with withering emphasi “That ‘jam’ is caviare, Mrs, B. Will you have some?" “*Caviare 2” said the other, with an undisturbed air. ‘Is that caviare? 1 never saw any before, which proves that I belong to the * general,’ doesn’t it ?” The contemptuous look of the society woman gave place to a puzzled expres- sion as she said : “General ? General who ? What do you mean by the ‘ general,” pray tell ?” ‘Why, I mean that the world is safe, after all, and pretty evenly divided. Some know their ‘Hamlet,’ some their ‘caviare,’” good-naturedly laughed the little writer. A sigh of relief breathed gently from the group, and the society woman smiled politely, with an air that seemed to insinuate that in spite of all efforts to uplift it the wild West was hopelessly sunk in barbarism.—Zoston Globe. ILLUMINATED HALL CLOCKS. A novel feature just introduced in our FINE HALL CLOCKS. arn 3s INSTANTANEOUS. CHOCOLATE. : Take three 4 HOW TO) Tak meserees its afulato $8 RECOMMENOED FOR Acid Troubles. moment, and your Choc: folate ie ready to serve. ot 34 lb. tin WILL CURE IT. comicbooks.com