Life, 1895-12-19 · page 13 of 18
Life — December 19, 1895 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satire: **"The Sloth"** (poem by Ruth Kimball-Gardiner): A humorous critique of political inaction and detachment. The sloth represents politicians or public figures who avoid taking action, justify inaction through elaborate philosophies ("theories"), and prioritize comfort over responsibility. The satire mocks those who espouse ideals they never act upon—a common critique of passive governance. **Chaplain Conden paragraph**: Criticism of the House Chaplain for his inflammatory prayer requesting Congress be "quick to resent" insults to the nation. The writer sarcastically notes that Conden is "obviously unequal" even to his modest job requirements—implying his inflammatory rhetoric is inappropriate for a religious official. **Senator Peffer paragraph**: Sharp satire suggesting the cost of burying senators ($3,000+) is excessive, with a darkly humorous suggestion to "finish up the job"—meaning pay senators to retire/die. This likely reflects frustration with aging or ineffective senators. The left illustration (rotated) appears to show a crowded social scene titled "The Matrimonial Mart in Thebes."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE MATRIMONIAL MART IN THEBES. 403 THE SLOTH. SING that charming thing, The sloth—the wisest beast | That moves by leg or wing, Because he moves the least. He does not rise to see ‘The sun the day begin. It can be done, thinks he, Without advice from him, He knows ‘tis deeds men do That cause all suffering. Humanitarian true, He never does a thing. He simply cats and drinks And cherishes ideals, And indolently thinks Of things he never feels, He knows his theories In practice would not fit. And so he never tries To put them into it. * # «@ You may choose power or fame— I grant you, gladly, both— But when I'm born again T want to bea sloth, Ruth Kimball-Gardiner. T" is not required or expected that the chaplain of the House of Representatives should be a great light, but Chap- lain Conden, who prayed at the opening of Con- gress that “we may be quick to resent anything like an insult to this, our nation,” is obviously un- equal even to the modest requirements of his position. ENATOR PEFFER has discovered that the average cost of bury- ing a United States senator is something over three thousand dollars. Let's call it four thou- | sand apiece and finish up | the job. SS