Life — November 28, 1895 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IF. ]F love werealways rosy And knew no mortal ills, And never went to pay the rent, Or stormed at grocery bills Then would the world go singing, And heaven would kiss the hills, If love were always rosy, And paid no grocery bills! —Atlanta Constitution. Tue Chicago Herald tells an amusing bit of experience which one of that city's benevolent men had with a beggar. The gentleman has a regular staff of * visitors,” to whom he gives alms according totheir needs and his ability. There is one old fellow whose calls are as punctual as the sun. On a recent occasion this man accosted Mr. G. as usual and received from him a half dollar. ‘The beggar took it, thanked the donor and turned toward the door. Before reaching it, however, he seemed to be considering a matter very seriously. He hesitated, stopped and then turned to Mr. G. again, saying, Excuse me, sir, I would like to ask you a question.” “Well, what is it?” said Mr. G. “It is this: Every month for years past you have given mea dollar, but to-day I come and you give me only so cents, How is that?” “Well, I'll tell you,” said Mr. G., smiling good humoredly. I have had some unusually heavy expenses this month. My eldest daughter got married, and the outlay for her trousseau, etc., bas compelled me to retrench in every direction.” “Ah, yes, I see,” said the beggar. ‘But, Mr. G., I really can’t afford to contribute toward your daughter's wedding expenses.” AT the time when William E. Chandler, of New Hamp- shire, was secretary of the navy, Admiral Meade was com- mandant of the navy yard in Washington. They got into trouble somehow, these two positive gentlemen, and the commandant was summoned before the secretary one day ona matter of importance. The secretary told the com- mandant that if he kept on or words to that effect he should certainly be obliged to punish him by sending him to sea. “Mr, Secretary,” said Meade, “I haven't anything to say except that when it is punishment for an officer of the navy to be ordered to sea, what is your service coming to? I should like to go to sea, sir. Good day."—Wash- ington Capital, Some years ago, when horseback riding was much more common than now, two travelers were journeying through the State of —. In passing over a stony, sterile region, with here and there a dwarfish shrub and sickly tuft of grass, they chanced to ride by a little cabin, One of the travelers said to the other, I pity the man that lives here; he must be very poor." The occupant of the cabin over- heard the remark, and came out, saying, Gentlemen, I want you to know that I am not so poor as you think, / don't own this land."—Harper's Magazine. G. P, PUTNAM’S SONS, NEW YORK AND LONDox, The Britith Barbarians. By Grant Allen. Lyrics and Ballads of Heine and Other German Pees Translated by Frances Hellman, HARPER AND BROTHERS, NEW YORK. The Red Cockade. By Stanley J. Weyma Dorethy and Other Italian Stories, Fenimore Woolson. HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY, NEW YORK, Some Memories of Paris. By F, Adolphus, LONGMANS, GREEN, AND COMPANY, LONDON ax NEW YORK, The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls, Upton. ‘Illustrated by Bertha Upton, ESTES AND LAURIAT, BOSTON, By Laura E. Richards, CROWELL AND COMPANY, NEW ‘AND BOSTON. The Hawthorn Tree and Other Poems, By Nathas Haskell Dole. J. B, LIPPINCOTT COMPANY, PHILADELPHIA. A Bad Lot,. By Mrs, Lovett Cameron. MACMILLAN AND COMPANY, NEW YORK, The Grey Lady, By Henry Seton Merriman, 2. By Constance By Florence k. Nautilus, THOMAS Y. yore Grace: Weren't you educated in a convent ? Constaxce: No. Why? Grace: Oh, I heard somebody say that if yoo saw a man on the other side of the street you crossed yoursell.—High School World, Coutp anything be neater than the old darkey’s reply to a beautiful young lady whom he offered to lift over the gutter, and who insisted that she was too heavy. “Lor, missus," said he“ barrels of sugar."— For ale by all Newntealers in Great Britain. | The Inter Chancery Lana, peccaa) Jess Company, Bream Bulldiog, Para Germany, WEAN A‘ Memrs. ST a r Ene re Brentano, $7 Avenue de !Opere Agents for Germany, Austria and 8 IVORY SOAP |. Plenty of sleep, fresh air, careful diet and the daily use of a good soap like the Ivory will purify the complexion as no cosmetic can. ‘Tne Procten & Gawort Co., Cow's. If the fall inspection of the table service reveals a Cut Glass We suggest seeing the display at our If you cannot call, A large line to choose from for Wedding Gifts. lack of new branch store send for pamphlet. C. DORFLINGER & SONS, itm 915 Broadway (near arst St.), New York MARK. American Cut Glass young or old. Price, $1.25. IT 1S ONE OF THE tamp. Play “ WATERLOO.” The popular New Board Game. For Novel and Exciting. PARKER G AM ES. aeanare Highest Award World's Falr, 1893. Our Illustrated Catalogue describing —_ ““Innocence Abroad,”’ ** Chivalry,” “Napoleon”? and 100 others Dorflinger’s for 3 Stern Bro§ direct attention to their j large assortments of ||Ladies’, Men’s | and Children’s Gloves among which will be found Many novelties in Pique, Reindeer, Cape and Kid Gloves in the most desirable styles and lengths Also Later Importations of Kid, Suede and Pique ** Wonderland’ and ** Uncle Sam Farm Gloves pretty Card Games in Colors for our Name PARKER BROS., SALEM, MASS., U, S. A. mailed for ps cents cach. All games Dearing lin the newest colorings. West 23d St-lros comicbooks.com