Life — November 7, 1895 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THERE is a dealer in men’s shoes who has, sticking out of each pair of shoes in the window of his store, three new one-dollar bills. An accompanying announcement reads: “Three of a kind take a pair.” A young man undertook to beat the game the other day. “ You sell shoes according to the rules of ‘ poker,’ don't you ?” he inquired. “We do,” replied the clerk. “Well, I wear size g; wrap me up two pairs of them.” He received the shoes and handed over $3. “« Excuse me," said the clerk, ‘but those shoes come to $6." “That's all right,” replied the young man, ‘three of a kind beat two pair.” “know that,” said the clerk, ‘but they don't beat four nines.""— The Shoe and Leather Reporter. “Like mistress, like maid" isa saying that is probably | oftener true than “like master, like man.” The story is | told that Mile. Augustine Brohan, a celebrated French comedian, who was extremely humane to all animals, no matter how humble, one day at table found a fly caught on her plate. She took it up tenderly with her thumb and finger and called her maid. “ Marie,” she said, ‘take this fly—be careful now, don't hurt him !—and put him outdoors.” ‘The girl took the fly and went away, but presently Mlle, Brohan saw her standing near with a troubled expression on her face. “Well, Marie,” she said, did you do as I told you?” “No, mademoiselle; I've got the fly still; I couldn't venture to put him outdoors—it was raining and he might “(IF it hadn't been for you,” observed the shade of Napoleon, accosting the shade of the Duke of Wellington, “+ the world might have been mine.” “That is true,” the shade of the Iron Duke com- placently replied. ‘1 must confess that I was too many for you.” “And yet,” the Emperor continued, ‘look here.” Together they leaned over the cloudy battlements, “Observe,” Napoleon said, with a broad, downward sweep of his arm ; “thousands of books, millions of mag- azines, portraits my own mother wouldn't recognize—the whole world talking Napoleon,” “And what of me?" the Duke said. “Well,” Napoleon patronizingly returned ‘now and then you are mentioned. In a foot-note maybe.” Reflectively stroking his high-shouldered proboscis the Duke of Wellington turned sadly away. “And to think,” he muttered bitterly, ‘that I should be responsible for this man’s greatness. Waterlooloo I was.” —Rockland Tribune. We give below a few gems culled from the works of Pon- son du Terral : * Her hand was cold like that of a serpent.” “The Countess was about to reply when a door opened and closed her mouth.” “\* Ha, ha!" he exclaimed in Portuguese.” “The colonel paced backwards and forwards, with his hands behind his back, reading the newspaper.” “+ At this sight the negro's face grew dreadfully pale.” “The man was dressed in a velvet jacket and in pants of Harris, Illustrated by Oliver Herford. CHARLES SCRIBN '$ SONS, NEW YORK, Little Rivers, By Henry Van Dyke. G. P, PUTNAM’S SONS, NEW YORK AND LONDOS, Cherryfield Halt, By Frederic Henry Balfour. EELY, NEW YORK AND CHICAGO. By Robert Buchanan and Henry F. TENNYSON The Charlatan, Murray. The Right fe Laws: By Dr, Max Nordau. Translation by Mary J. Sa ARPek ANG cROTHIERS, WaWivORE. ‘eof Christ for Young People. ings Foote. jMentone, Cairo, and Corfu. Woolson. The Sowers. By Henry Seton Merriman, A Cumberland Vendetta and Other Stories. Fox, Jr. His Father's Son. By Brander Matthews. The Story of the Other Wise Man. By Henry Van yke, HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN AND COMPANY, BOSTON AND NEW YORK. MP, RABBIT AT HOME. By Joel Chandler By Mary Hast. / By Constance Fenimore By Joha LONGMANS, GREEN, AND COMPANY, LONDON AND NEW YORK. The Tenth Muse and Other Poems. Arnold, Skeleton Leaves. By Hedley Peek (Frank Leyton.) THE MERRIAM COMPANY, NEW YORK. Patricia, By Marie St. Felix, HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY, NEW YORK. Sir Quixote of the Moors. By John Buchan. Rambles in Jepan. By H. B, Tristram, D-D.LLD, F.RS. York, Chicago, Toronto: Fleming H: Revell Company. By Sir Edwin “How can you tell a dogwood tree?" asked the professor of arborology. have taken cold ! "— Youth's Companion. the same color."—Le Figaro. “By its bark,” said the smallest boy in the class.—£x. For fl Newniralers (a Great Britain. The Tater pation "Neve Compuny, iceas Boling: Chancery tas C,, England, Aoasts, Eenoreax Aomrre— Sour, 37 Avenue da TOpera, Agents fo Serene Ga Geicertind! Ivory SOAP If Ivory were not the best soap it would not be found at more grocery stores than Vin: any other. Tne Procter & Gaware Co, Cini, Fashionable Boucle. For immediate sale, a large line of genuine French Boucle, in handsome color- in; Rea and Black, Blue and Black ; Brown and Black, Green and Black ; Olive and Black, Grey and Black; These are a special pur- chase at the Eleventh Street store, and are marked 75 cents per yard. Remnant tables, on the Main Floor, filled with choice lengths of Novelties, Cheviots, Dress Goods and Cloakings, at very low prices. James McCreery & Co.. Broadway and 11th St. IBBER CyGARETTES LITTLE CIGARS. ALL IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE FINEST IN QUALITY. 25c. a Bundle, 1o in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 25e. H. ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. Tue Ammrican Tonacco Co., Successor. Johannis “ King of Natural Table Waters.” Is Conceded to be the Finest Table Water ever Imported. Bottled at the Johannis Spring—Zollhaus, Germany. ERNEST GOGORZA, 50 Broad Hagens N. Y., Managing Agent in United States and Canada for Johannis L.td., London, > BEAUTIFUL FACES. ANY BEAUTIFUL PACES A at MARRED ‘by growths of disSguring ha DEMELVO (exclu A Fragrant Liquid Compound—entirely free from there ail poisonous ingredients, quickly REMOVES: H HAIR BLEMISHES without the slightest land! leaving the Shin as ameoth, white ard chiefs if ete bad never been © growth of Lair bee Ie witl refund the money to any cats where it kerchi ‘ yromised results, if used ac- in eve dingeodurectione™ pice $2 OO A BOTTLE. SENT OY MAIL Frenc| THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO., Baltimore, Md. Linen Mor the be: CORPUS LEAN |BSOLUTELY HARMLESS. ui Jar root jareh © 2815 Madieon 8q., Philade, Pa. ‘Gola by all Draggtate comicbooks.com