Life — October 31, 1895 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Prompten by the feeling that it was his duty, the bishop remonstrated with one of his clergy for attending a local hunt. “Well, your lordship,” replied the offender, I really do not see there is any more harm in hunting than in going to a ball.” “I presume,” answered his lordship, “that you refer to having seen my name down among those whoattended Lady Somerville’s ball; but I assure you, throughout the whole evening I was never once in the same room as the dancers." “That, my lord, isexactly how I stand—I was never in the same field as the hounds.” Then the bishop sat down and silence reigned.—Ex. THERE was an old negro floating in a skiff on the head- waters of the Licking. He was fishing—fish mighty fine down that way. He had a boy in the boat with him who kept looking into the water until he lost his balance and disappeared in the water. Quicker than I could tell you the old man had his coat off and dived for the boy. He brought him up all right, then rowed for the bank. When they got out, dripping, of course, a white man who had seen the whole business complimented the old man on his heroic act. “+ He must be a son of yours,” said the white man. “No; no, sah, No son o' mine.” “Nephew, then?” “No; no, sah, No nephew.” “Cousin 2” “No; no cousin “Then you deserve all the morecredit for saving his life.” “Well, I doan’ know ‘bout that, boss. You see, he had all the bait in his pocket."— Fargo Forum. at’ Tue Rev, Mr. Bedell, who used to preach Methodist doctrine in Calhoun County, this State, was what is called **a jack of all trades.” While he was living at Newton it is related of him that a young runaway couple seeking to get married came to the ferry at that place and called for the ferryman, when Bedell responded to their call and put them across the river. While doing so the young man inquired for a blacksmith, as he wanted some repairs made on his buggy. Bedell replied : “Lam a blacksmith and will repair it.” The young man next inquired for a hotel to stop at. Bedell replied : ‘Come with me; I keep the hotel and will entertain you,” The next inquiry was for theclerk of the court of ordinary in order to procure a marriage license. Bedell answered ; “Tam the clerk and can issue you a license.” He finally inquired for a minister to perform the marriage ceremony, The man of many occupations was again equal to the emergency and intormed the would-be bridegroom : lam the minister and will perform the ceremony for you."—Atlanta Constitution, A CERTAIN farmer who lived in northern New York, and who was by no means noted for his resemblance to Apollo, had a son of six or seven who had more wit than pedigree. One day a stranger came to the farm, and seeing the lad ° asked, Sony, where's your father ?” “In the pig pen,” was the reply. “In the pig pen? Thanks!" and as the man moved io the direction indicated l'enfant terrible shouted, “I say! You'll know him ‘cause he's got hishat on!"—Zx. G. W, DILLINGHAM, NEW YORK. i} APTER WHICH ALL THINGS. By George ¥.9) Warder. a / The Summer Heart. By Margaret Granville. ' MACMILLAN AND COMPANY, NEW YORK, King Arthur. By J. Comyus Carr, A Book About Fans, By M. A. Flory, with a cae on Fan-collecting by Mary Cadwalader jones. A Son of the Plains. By Arthur Paterson, q ROBERTS BROTHERS, BOSTON, feel, a Boy of Gatitee, By Annie Fellows Johnso, yt Roto foes Galil "Plain. By Ashmore Russaa ad fo) Pe faliy Good S By Mary P. Wells oc A Jolly Good Summer, y May . Wells Smith. Dorothy and Anton. By A. G. Plympton. AR Goostie. “By M. Carrie Hyde. We The Forces of Nature, By Herbert B. Harr Louis A. Wallis. t ‘tie ‘Columbus, O1 Harropand “HER The genius drew a glittering object from beseth his cloak. * is the wonderful lamp!” Aladdin regarded it intently. ! “"It’sa beaut,” he said, * but what's wonderful abs f in” ‘The genius bowed low, y “This lamp will not rattle, nor does it smoke, 2a ff @ can the light be shaken out, neither will it leak aff § break or bother the man who uses it.” The net instant he vanished, On the following evening Aladdin used the lamp to light his way as he wheeled to where the be: princess awaited him, and before he had gone a blot @¢ that he knew that genius was a liar and the wonderfa lamp was all it was said not to be.— Wheel. h Pat by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter. Nes Company, reams Bullding, Chancery Lane, EUROPEAN AGENTS—Mewrs. Rrentano, $7 Avenue de Opera Parts 9. 1 Clarastrame, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Swi pardon ‘Saarbach's News Fzchange, 1 De Long Br Ivory S An experienced laundress will tell you that OAP shirts never look as white as when washed with Mental Depression “y Dromo=Seltze Rol Ivory Soap. ‘Tue Procter & Gamat Co, Corre Dress Goods. For this week: A full collection of Fall and Winter, Fabrics, in Boucle, Caniché, Heavy Crinkled Cre- pon, Knotted effects. Also a fall line of Plaids. In the new section, at Broadway Entrance: A full assortment of all classes of Dress Goods, ranging in price from 26 cents to 85 cents per yard. At Eleventh Street En- trance: Tables filled with Waist,Skirt and Dress lengths, from our wholesale depart- ment. James MeCreery & Co., Broadway and 11th St. HORSE SHOW, 1895. SPECIAL MILLINERY DISPLAY, Monday, 4th November, and following days. LOUISE «CO. 294 FIFTH AVENUE. All you have guessed about life insurance may be wrong, If you wish to know the truth, send for “How and Why,” issued by the Paxw Mutvat Lire, 921-3-5 Chest- nut Street, Philadelphia. Trial Size, 10 Cents. THE LATTER END of a contract is vastly more im- portant than the front end. Five dollars saved on a premium is a trifle; five thousand dollars lost by bad security when the claim falls due is not a trifle Always try to find out which is likely to live longest, you or the company you insure and therefore whether the company is insuring you or you are insuring the company. _ A thing you can't get after you have paid for it isn't cheap at half a cent. THE TRAVELERS Or Hartrorp, Co: Is the Oldest Accident Company In America, the Largest In the World, and has never reorgan- Ized oF frozen out any of Its clalmants. Rates as low as will give permanent security of receiving the face value of the policy. Policies world-wide, and as diberal as consist ent with the Company's keeping alive to pay claims at all. Assets, $17,664,000, Surplus, $2,472,000. Pald Pollcy-Holders, $27,000,000 $2,161,000 In 1894, JAMES G. BATTERSON, President. RODNEY DENNIS, Secretary. [Maison de Bland Has removed to the larger pref finest Linens, Laces, Curtains, Hand kerchiefs, and all kinds of Fancy T ble and Bed Linen, etc., ete. THE GRANDE Laces and Fancy Linen. a S PARIS. NEW YORK, NEWPORT. No. 391 Fifth Ave. Cor. 36th Street. Ladies will find the choicest aoa HEL . ail: Send An inspection is invited. j M. ROLLAND, Msr- Thes wing forld’s C comicbooks.com