Life — September 5, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE LAST ONE. THE SUCCESSFUL AUTHOR AND HIS ASH BARREL. 66 HERE is a great deal to read, and very little worth reading,” complained the Critic, and he began to go round ts just to find out why, \ He had not gone far when he came upon an old man with a swelled head, sit- ting on some Laurels— which are not such un- comfortable things to sit on as you might think, This old man was fat and well dressed and looked compla- cent. His occu- pation was some- what remarkable, He was emptying out an ash barrel marked D. W. T. That means Declined With Thanks, you know—and is what is written on verses and stories when the editor and the writer do not agree upon the merits of the verses and stories. The things that the old man emptied out of his barrel were some of them very mouldy. Nevertheless people went up to him and politely gave him good money for them. He had no trouble in disposing of them. The Critic went on and found several oldish men and some women, all with ash barrels and all sitting on Laurels—plying the same trade. He went up to one old man. “ What are you anyway?” he asked. “Tama successful author,” answered the old man, continu- ing to sell mouldy things from his barrel, which contained a lot. nd what are you selling out of that barrel?" asked the Critic. “ Ash Barrel Literature,” answered the old man, winking at the Critic, for he saw ink on the Critic’s finger, and people in the same line of business do not try to humbug each other. “ What is Ash Barrel Literature ?" asked the Critic. “ Things that the publishers refused when I was young, my innocent interviewer,” answered the busy old man. “But how can you get them to buy things that they refused before, now that they have gone mouldy?" asked the pertinacious Critic. “ Because,” answered the old man, laying his finger against his nose archly, “I have made a name. When once you have made a name you can sell mouldy things and you're very silly if you don’t. They are not off-color like some recent productions—it is only that they have been kept too long. They sell because they're all marked with my name.” “ Why don’t you get up and hustle and make new things to sell,” asked the Critic, “instead of sitting there on that heap of green stuff, selling mouldy ones.” answered the old man, “my head swelled up so at my first real success, that I have lost the power to think of new things now. What I am doing is much easier. Besides, just see what I'm sitting on. Green stuff indeed! Don’t you know Laurels when you see them? And take my word for it, my boy— the best use for Laurels is, fo rest on them.” And the Critic went quickly home and be- gan to stock an ash barrel—which is not difficult—but he has not gained the Laurels yet, and until he has them to rest upon, he can’t empty his ash barrel. Which is a good thing, for there are a good many ash barrels being emptied just now. Jessie M. Wood. Goixe UNDER WITH A BANK FAILURE.