Life — August 29, 1895 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Al FEISORS AT Null Iy 1871, when the government of M. Thiers was at Versailles, and before the National Assembly had decided whether the new constitution was to be monarchical or republican, the late Comte de Paris visited the palace at Versailles, As he was about to enter the door, M. Jules Simon met and recognized him. Bowing politely, M. Simon said: ‘If we area republic, you are in my house, and I shall be delighted todo the honors. If we are a monarchy, I am in yours.” The count laughed, took his arm, and replied: * Let us go in together."—Argonaut. A FAMOUS landscape painter had to call in a doctor to see his wife, who was suffering from bronchitis. After he had examined the patient, the doctor recommended the husband to take a small brush, dip it in tincture of iodine and lightly paint the lady's back with it, The artist took up his brush, and after dipping it in the tincture proceeded to carry out the doctor's prescription, But his artistic temperament soon got the better of his sick nursing qualities, Mistaking his wife's back for a canvass, instead of simply applying the lotion be sketched out a landscape and gradually peopled it with figures and pat in all the details complete, The patient, finding the operation a rather lengthy one, asked her husband if he had finished. And the latter, receding a few steps to examine his work, A GeNFLeMAN in Santa Rosa has a grown son at school in Oakland who spends more than his monthly allowance. His last letter to his father is a “*corker.” It is as follows : Dear Papa: Vhaveto ask you for a few dollars and I don't know how to express myself. If you could see how I blush with embarrassment you would give me $20 without me telling you. I send you this by . who is visiting Santa Rosa over Sunday. He will wait foran answer. Your affectionate Son. P.S.: Overcome with shame for what I have written, I have been running after the messenger to take the letter from him, but I canaot catch up with him. 1 hope my letter will be lost. His father was naturally touched, but was equal to the emergency. He replied as follows : My Dear Son: Console yourself and blush no_ longer. The messenger lost your letter, Your affectionate Father.— Santa Rosa Democrat. A REPORTER, in describing the murder of a man named Jorkias, said The murderer was evidently in quest of money, but luckily Mr. Jorkins had deposited all his funds in the bank the day before, so that he lost nothing but his life."—London Tit-Bits. WELLS: Since I have started using the Broadway cable Ihave had my address and pedigree tattooed on my chest. Sg wi NG WHEN LOVE IS DONE, By Ethel Davis. Boston; Estes and Lauriat. Storm King. By Mansfield Lovell Hillhouse. New York: G. W, Dillingham. Don't Care. By : Estes and Lauriat, By Augusta J. Evans. Mary Farrington Fower. New York: G.W, Drumsticks, By Katherine Mary Cheever Meredith New Vork and London: The Transatlantic Publishing Company Inez. By Dillingham. Augusta J. Evans, New York: G.W. IT is told ina recent book of law anecdotes that a member of the Boston bar, meeting one day Judge Lord, an able and conscientious judge, said to him : “+1 see, judge, that the Supreme Court has over- ruled you in the case of vs. —, but you need feel no concern about your reputation. “No,” answered the judge, ‘1 don’t: concerned about the reputation of the Supreme Court. I'm only Two young men, both desperately in love with a girl who would have nothing to do with them, formed the joint resolve to throw themselves into the river. Standing on the bank, one of them, ready to take the fatal plunge, called out : “ Now for it!” replied, ** another dab or two, and then I can put it in the Boston Traveler. HILs: Why not on your arms and legs ? We Oh, I expect to lose them one by one.—Ex. “After you, please,” joinder.—Buntes Allertet. was the other's polite re- anf OE, 0 by alt Nowsdealers to Great Britain. Sompany, Hream’s Building, Chancery Lane, Etndon, ES The Inter Parts; Saarbach's enere Brentano, $7 Aveaue de l'Opers, News Exchange. 1 Clarastrase, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzer! IVORY ‘SOAP “A cold bath is a good tonic and nerve bracer.” If Ivory Soap is used, it is a beautifier as well. Te Procter & Gamort Co., Cini. CONVALESCENTS, NURSING) MOTHERS & THOSE SUFFERING ay INSOMNIA. Denes , Mothers be of good cheer, ali irritations of baby’s tender skin can be cured with 8-A-N-A-D-U-R Skin Soap. TEN DAYS OF DELIGHTFUL TRAVEL THROUGH THE SOUTH FOR $65.00. Two early Autumn Tours, Sept, 24th and Oct, Sth, under the Personally Conducted Tourist System of the Pennsylvania Railroad Company. Gettysburg Battlefield, Blue Mountain, Luray Caverns, Basic City, The Natural Bridge of Virginia, Grottoes of the Shenandoah, Richmond, Washington. and Mt. Vernon visited during the tour, Parlor car and hotel accommodations, guides, car- riages and all necessary expenses covered by the rate. ATourist Agent,Chaperon and Ba gage Master will accompany party. For d tailed itinerary address Tourist Agent Penn- sylvania Railroad, 11% Broadway, NewYork. New-born babies often have their tender skins inflamed by the use of impure soaps. Always soothing, cooling and healing is -A-N-A-D-U-K Skin Soap. We will mall 13 sample cigars for $1.00. It will profit you to “Shape Up” with Bromo=Seltzer. No better bracer. Beautiful Faces. ANY BEAUTIFUL FACES ARE MARRED by growthsof disfiguring bair, ané lesa a majority of ladies so afticted endure patnfal| embarrassment rather than use any pr the removal of such blemishes because of the tnjartous resalts. DEMELVO A Pragrant Liquid Compound—entirely free from polsouces ingredients, quichiy Removes Superfluous}fair Without the slightest Injury, as it acts only on the Hair, leaving the Skin as smooth, whi'e and clean as it there had never been a growth of hair upon it DEMELVO teine rodact of the carefal study of three of the moet ; abd fs cotirtly unlike any other preparation ofered fora timilar parpoee. ‘We will refund the money tn any case where it does not produce the promised resulta, If used according 20 directions. Sent by Mail, Price $2 00 a Bottle. THE CHARLES A, VOGELER CO., Baltimor 9 FOR i, MEN Trial Size 10c. ALL IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE, FINEST IN QUALITY. 2sc. a Bundle, 1o in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 25¢+ H. ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. Tun Amunicay Tonacco Co., Successor OF BRAINS 1GARS There is just something which makes one cigar better than another; we have that something. Part of this knowledge is our secret, which is free for the asking, jock __sma. part we tell you in our booklet aad will convince you quickly. CORTEZ CIGAR COMPANY, Key West. . BAS: