Life — August 22, 1895 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Now,” he continued as he laid the forefinger of his right hand in the palm of his left, ‘now to show you the effect of whisky on the brain, suppose I break an egg ina yl (eo) L Bi glass. Are you listening ?” qT MT VLLY é Two hundred and fifty heads nodded earnestly. “Well, I break this egg in a glass and pour in some whisky on top of it, What do I have then?" THE BLOOMER. Attorney Thomas expected the high school girl to reply that the whisky would tum the egg white and spoil it, but she said nothing. He repeated his question, ‘* What would I have if I poured the whisky in the glass with the egg ?” “ Eggnog !" shouted a little fellow on the front bench.—Portland Telegram. (WHERE are you going, my pretty maide 2” “I'm going a-wheeling, sir,” she saide. “What is your fortune, my pretty maide ?” “A million in money, kind sir,” she saide. THE popular citizen had made arrangements to go into business in another town. “Then I wish to marry you, my pretty maide." He had sold his property, packed his household goods, and everything was in readiness “There are others. I thank you, kind sir,” she saide. for his removal. —New York Sun. His friends got a farewell dinner for him. The tables groaned, ete. The viands were sumptuous, The champagne was abundant, and after it began to circulate there Tne two hundred and fifty pupils of the Sunday school of the Filteenth Street was a flood of oratory. The speeches were all to the effect that the loss the community fristian Church had gone through their lesson yesterday forenoon, and most of the was about to sustain was irreparable, The speakers dwelt upon the good qualities of dren were shifting their feet uneasily when Superintendent Ernest Forbes announced their friend, his many excellent traits of character, his genial, companionable ways, and athe pulpit platform that Attorney W. ©, Thomas would make a short address and 1] took occasion to express their deep sense of personal bereavement on account of his the benediction would be said. Attorney Thomas mounted the platform with a contemplated removal. Then they sang : movement and a thoughtful air, and five hundred eyes watched him as he fondled “For he's a jolly good fellow, chain and remarked that he would say a few words about the damage that whisky Which nobody can deny.” |fould do the brain when it was taken into the stomach, Brimful of emotion, the recipient of all this rose to reply : “ Now,” he said, ‘is there a boy or girl here who can tell me what is the principal * Boys,” he said unsteadily, “I didn’t know what I was doing when I went into postituent part of the human brain ?” any scheme to leave this town, I didn't know how sorry my friends would be to see me That word constituent befuddled most of the little minds present, but one girl who go. ‘The—the friendship of my friends is worth more to me than a few hun'rd doll’rs I teods the high school on week days, raised her hand and said, * Albumen.” might make by movin’ ‘way from here, and I'll be—be ev'rlastingly dadswangled 'f I'm I] “That is right,” said the lawyer, ‘albumen forms the principal part of aman’s goin’ to move. I'm goin’ to stay ri’ here in this town, fellers, an’ don’t you forget it! Bain. And now can you tell me what forms the principal part of an egg ?” Whoop 1" The’same girl answered “ Albumen” again, and the lawyer looked pleased as he An hour later a dejected company of men assisted a helpless comrade up a back ooounced the answer correct. stairway and dispersed without saying a word.—Chicago Tribune. For salo by all Newslealers {0 Great Britain, The Inter EUROPEAN AGEXTS—Memnra. Rrentano, $7 Avenue de l'Opera, ‘News Company, ream's Building, Chancery Lass, Gaarbach News Exchange, 1 ‘Ciarastrasso, ‘Aomwrs. ‘Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland, PROFILE HOUSE WHITE MOUNTAINS. E Indisputably the leading Summer Resort FL of New England. Location unsurpassed in scenic attractions. UNEQUALLED, ees I} Leadon, E. C., Leados, & 0, Engiaba, t Tart & GREENLEAF. Plenty of sleep, fresh air, careful diet and the UNAPPRONCHED HOTEL VENDOME aily use of a good soap like the Ivory will purify BICYC rie (acal trout or toe. Gane BEEN e complexion as no cosmetic can. 1 paar aoa I} Te Peocren & Gawete Co., Cont - $82 369 $5: HISTORY OF BREWING ~ me TH U m1) TORIC... ilwaukee = - S ABST BST MALT ? eer is famous, [Be ARF; Y ie EXTRACT UQUID EXTRACT OF 's substance Pabst has m % ast has made C7 h Me profucing. = Beauty is a glorious flower, and one that MALT & HOPS ‘The BEST Tonle should be preserved. The best preservative is SANADOR ‘Skin Soap. STUDENT: Several of my friends are com- ing to dine here, so I want a big table. Mine Host: Just look at this one, sir. [FE = fcerst nay cae NOW R EADY. New-born babies often bave their tender skins inflamed by the use of impure soaps. Always soothing, cooling and healing is Bound in Maroon and Gold, Green P ICE 5 SANADOR Skin Soap. and Gold, and Full Black. 9 @| St. PETER (timorously, having heard of the new woman): D-did you wish to enter, madame ? “Papa, do lawyers tell the truth ?"|_ New Woaan: Pray don't detain me, my a ddicioog oriak la “Certainly, my boy; they willdo| good man, I want to see the lady of the ‘stantly made from anything to win their case."—Ex, | house.—Chicago Times-Herald. WHITMAN’S INSTANTANEOUS CHOCOLATE. GOUT? PIPER? -RAZI oxic OLE Lay tis se ore ane Li U; For Sale b; ies iver, and all Uric ee y Druggists, Acid Troubles, ite toe fica ace WATER WILL CURE IT. SPER it CORE | comicbooks.com