Life — July 25, 1895 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN exchange tells a story which may be taken asa fresh manifestation of a certain well-known Scotch characteristic : Upon his accession to the throne, the Emperor of Russia was appointed colonel-in-chief of the Royal Scots Greys. Whilst dressing for dinner an enthusiastic subaltern com- municated the information to his soldier-servant. “Donald,” he said, ‘have you heard that the new Emperor of Russia has been appointed colonel of the regiment “Indeed, sir!” replied Donald, ‘It is a vera prood thing.” ‘Then after a pause he inquired: ‘* Beg pardon, sir, but will he be able to keep both places ?"— Youth's Companion, THe pompous schoolmaster sometimes finds himself in a position which is not entirely to his taste, A great English wit, Mark Lemon, once wrote a book, in which he told of a chubby-(aced little urchin who passed his conceited instructor upon the street without bowing. The schoolmaster stopped and frowned. “What has become of your manners, sir?" he roared. “It seems to me that you are better fed than taught.” A NOTED evangelist having stayed over in one of those Southwest towns where the hotel-keeper depends upon the disconnection of trains for a livelihood, fell into the follow- ing talk with the landlord : “You've got a good town here, haven't you ?" he said. “We think so,” replied the host, diplomatically. “« Business seems to be lively.” “Yes, we're enjoying a boom.” “Tt appears to be improving rapidly.” “That's what.” “You don’t have any lynchings here, do you?” “ Not like we used to.” “+ T've heard that it was once very bad in that line.” “Well, yes, we used to have a hanging now and then, but it’s been a mighty long time now since we had one.” “+ When was the last one ?” ‘The landlord studied a moment and counted on his fingers. “Lain’t shore," he said at last, “but I think it will be two weeks day after to-morrow."—San Francisco Post. “Some, men,” said Uncle Eben, ‘am so fab-sighted dat dey ka'nt possibly lib ter ketch up ter de benefit ob dah \V THE POINT. By Nathan Haskell Dole. Boston : i Joseph Knight Company. F Sonia Kovalevsky. By A.C. Leffier(Edgren) Duchessa_[] Di Cajanello, Translated by’ Louise Von Cossel. -New York: Macmillan and Company. iq A Black Adonis, By Albert Ross, New York: G. ff W. Dillingham, Doctor Hathern's Daughters. By Mrs, Mary J. 9 Holmes. New York: G-W.D tingham. fi MeadowGrass. By Alice Brown, Boston: Copeland and Day. | “ Anp the presents 2” He waited for the reply with bated breath. f “* Harold,” she replied, placing a tiny hand on each q shoulder and gazing soulfully into his eyes, “there are only three duplicates.” i “Great Scott!" he gasped. ‘1 was figuring on | twenty at least to sell. How shall we get through the { year?” Then they both realized, as never before, that |] marriage is a lottery,—Aoston Herald. “To my mind, Sanftheim, the property owner, isa | downright ass.” “Excuse me, I can't allow you to say one word | against him; he lent me fifty marks only the other “Yes, sir,” replied the little boy; ‘that’s because you _discoveries."— Washington Star. day.” teaches me; but I feeds myself, sir."—Harper's Young ‘A LARGE majority of those who think they need coaxing “There; you secj-I’am sight, “aller all”—Dory- People. really require clubbing.—Afr/wauwkee Journal, barbier, For slo by all Newsdealers i Great Britain. The Teen - “| BUROPEAX A ere, Brentano, 1 Arenve de Opera, ‘i Parts seasbactty ees Ex Eesdsa, Sore rears Siittion: Chancery L + oe ye aura i Oars Ivory SoAP When you pack for the sea shore or the mountains, fill « tray of your trunk with Ivory Soap and require your laundress Light summer garments should be washed only with to use it. a pure white soap. Tut Procter & Gavere Co, Ciw'Th, £292 Zi Bas SUSISESACSG modified, cham pa: TATA AAY tS YAY AVA AYAYAYAV AYA WAY AVAYAYAY: OLDEN AGE ts an Ameitcan champagne surpassing in quality any domestic brand heretofore offered. greatly by its superior excelience, the prejudice that formerly existed in favor of foreign vfnes, | Like the Snest French wines, It is roduced by the natural method of fermentation in @ bottle. It costs only. about one-third as much the same quality of imported } CHAMPAGNE. THE HAMMONDSPORT WINE CO., HAMMONOSPORT, M. Y, TAAVAYASAYAYAYAT VA TAVAVATAY AWA . Bromo- =Seltzer | FOR ALL HEADACHES. GRAND TOUR TO Isssesses through the September 3. Northwest, and California. resorts. in October. Tours to Florida, } oS Miss KNICKERBOCKER : Miss BREEzIE WEST: fluently !—71?-Bits, knowledge of German, “No, my daughter,” — Examiner, AYMOND & WH ITCOMB’S TOURS. Throughout the Sammer and Autamn, numerous short tours to popular Regular Season Winter and Summer Tours to Europe, etc., begins in January. Tours to California, with special vestibuled train service and dining’ cars, begin RAYMOND & WHITCOMB, What impressed you most during your stay abroad ? The culture and education that I noticed in France. even the youngest children spoke French A FATHER was once asked by his daughter if there was an easy way of acquiring a was his judicious reply, ‘tit must be learned by main strength.” ALL TRAVELING EXPENSES INCLUDED. | A party of limited numbers will leave New York in September for a } Japan and China. The westward voyage will be via Honolalu, much more comprehensive than is usually made, and there will be longer sojourns at all the chief cities and points of interest. Kong. Macao, and the great city of Canton. i In connection with the foregoing and leaving New York in August, a tour HAWAIIAN ISLANDS, with visits to Honolulu, Hilo, the Volcano of Kilauea, etc. Yellowstone Park and return, also Yellowstone Park, the |] The tour through Japan will be In China there will be visits to Hong Mexico, Hawaiian Islands, etc., during the winter months. Note—Stop-over privileges allowed with alJ tours and portions of trips arranged. Independent Railroad and Steamsh' Tickets to all points. nd for descriptive book, mentioning tour desired 31 East Fourteenth Street, Lincoln Bullding, New York. THE. INK eenntacaoy” FRED'K H. LEVEY CO., 6: ekman St.,N. Y. Why, Nosopy can deny that postage-stamp collecting is a great help in teaching boys geography, Jack showed this at school when his teacher asked him where Nicaragua was and what it produced chiefly. ‘' It's on page ninety-eight,” said Jack, ‘and it produces more sets o' stamps than any other country of its size in the world."—Herper's Round Table. comicbooks.com