Life — June 27, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CITIZEN of High street east was sleeping the sleep of the just at midnight when there came a loud and continuous ring at the doorbell. The awakened citi- zen slid out of bed and threw up a window and called out : “Who's that down there?” + Me,” replied a voice. “And what do you want?” * Have you lost any money ? “Not that I know of. Why do you ask ?” * Twas coming along here and struck a nickel right in front of your house with my foot and was flung on my back and almost killed, Sure you didn’t lose it?" + Did you wake me up to tell me you'd found a nickel 2” shouted the ind nant citizen. “Of course I did. I'm an honest man, Iam, Some fellers would have grabbed it and cantered away and kept mum about it, but that hain't my way. If I find any money I'm going to try my best to find the loser. So you hain’¢ lost a nickel?" “No, sir, and I'd like to punch your head.” “Then you don’t lay no claim to the nickel ?” asked the man on the steps. “Not Not” “Allright. I'm an honest man, Somebody has lost this nickel, and it's not for me to walk off with it. You can slide back into bed, and I'll try next door.” He tried next door, and the next, aod the next, and he was still trying when two half-dressed citizens rushed out on him with clubs and drove him clatter= ing away into the darkness, As they gave up the chase he halted and called back : “ Twas born an honest man, and you can’t discourage me this way. V'il t every house on the other side of the block and see if I can’t find the victim of mis- fortune."—Detroit Free Press. A COMMERCIAL traveler got into the same carriage with the Duke of Northumberland and the Duke of Argyll, and conversed with them freely, not knowing who they were, The Duke of Northumberland got out at Alnwick, where a handsome equipage was in waiting. The traveler said with surprise: “Tl bet you that’s some big nob we've been talking to.” *Itis the Duke of Northumberland,” said Argyll. The traveler stared after the equipage in amazement, “ By gum!" he said at last, “who'd have thought that a Duke would have ti Iked to two little snobs like us ?"—Social Circle cf Anecdote. AN exchange tells a story of a Scotch minister whose physician ordered him to drink beef tea, The next day, when the, doctor called, the patient complained that the new drink made him sick. “Why, sir,” said the doctor, “that can’t be. I'll try it myself.” As he spoke, he poured some of the tea into a skillet and set it on the fire. Then, having warmed it, he tasted it, smacked his lips and said : xcellent, excellent !* Man," said the minister, ‘* is that the way ye sup it ?” “Of course. What other way should it be suppit ? It’s excellent.” “Tt may be gude that way, doctor ; but try it wi’ the cream and sugar, man. ‘Try it wi’ that, and see hoo ye like it.” * For being honest ?” If I had a brickbat I'd make you see stars. Get along, or I'll come down and break your neck short off.” Fit, Style, Comfort, Durability. One Million Men are Wearing Them, WHAT? Karl’s $3 Shoes. Latest Shape Extension Soles, In Imported Russia Leather and French Calfskin. BUFFALO LITHIA WATER Case of Dr. J. A. Hanby, of Patrick C. H., Va., stated by himself. “For four years I was afllicted with Rheumatic Gout to an extent which inca- pacitated me entirely fromthe discharge of the dulics of my profession, and was finally reduced to such a condition as to subject mo for the most part in confinement to my bed, By the advicoof one of my medical attendants, and emphatically as a, dernicr resort, 1 determined Spring” No. am Tov ike ‘ase of the BUFFALO Li THIA WATER fant io sss, witnont faith in its virtues, hi z but little confidence In mineral waters. The use, however, Of a few cases of the water was attended by beneficial results so remarkable that I wat soon able to be out of bed and upon my fect, and my Improvement has continued until Tam now actively enguged In the practice of my profession, meeting, without an unusual Inconvenience, all the exposure and hardship Incident to tho fife of a phys clan ina mountain country. Leannot, in candor, do otherivise than ascribe my recovery solely to this water, the value of which I regard as beyond estimation.” Send for Catalogue, Dr. James Beale, Richmond, Va., Member of the Medical Society of Va. KARL’S own fam- Spring No. % has exer- ily the use of the BUFFALO LITHIA WATER cised the most benef. 125 & 127 Nassau St., - - cial influence. Mrs. Beale commenced the use of this water aster a conflnement of eigh- teen months to her room from attacks of Rheumatic Gout, which bad brought on a paralysis of the lower eXtremities and of her right hand. "Latterly, this condition of things babe suees eded by, Gropeical orrasion. in both Jimbe, rendering: {poomotion B f t it ti impracticable without assistance. Since using the water, which she has done for several . months at home, the Dropsicat Eyfusion had disappenred. She walks without assistance eware of imitations: and writes legibly, previously having been compelled to employ an amanuensix, 1 have We have made and sold the original Hand- witnessed other remarkable results from the action of this water In Gouty affections, § sae Water Cracker for O8 yearac” Every and ia this malady [regard itas incatuabl 4 4 ‘This water is for sale by druggists generally, or in cases of one dozen half-gallon bottles Cracker is stamped simply and plainly, 3.00 C0.b. at the Springs. Descriptive pamphlets sent to any address, THOMAS F. GOODE, Proprietor, Buffalo Lithia Springs, Va. Springs open for guests from June 15in te October Ist. New York. 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