Life — June 20, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE: CHIMMIE FADDEN ON WIDOWS. “Say, Lalways taut dat widdys was old, Dey is down where I lives, and has rhuma- tiz, and never has no fun ; but dis widdy don't trot in dat class. Why, dis one ain't much older dan de Duchess, who ain't much older dan me, and she ain't got no rhumatiz, for she’s livelier on her pins dan a cable car goin round Union Square. Everybody says dat she ain't got a penny, but dat don’t mean de same ting in de purlieus—say, dat’s a winner, dat ‘purliews.’ Do you cop it ?—it don't mean de same ting in de purlieus of de aristock- racy as it do in de Fort ward. Say, I'm dead ont’ dat. Listen; De odder day I was comin in t' town for some errants for Miss Fannie, when de widdy cops me, and she says t’ Miss Fannie, says she, * Fannie, dear,’ she says, ‘can your man do a errant or two for me ?? says she, “Certainly, me dear,’ says Miss Fannie, and de widdy, she says, ‘ Me man,’ says she. giving mea paper, ‘just stop in t' dose places and leave dose orders. Here's me purse. If it hasn't enough in it, just have some of em charged.’ Say, she started t’ hand me her wad, and it was a lulu; but it had a string on it, for she pulls it back and says t’ Miss Fannie, *No, me dear ; you know I hasn't a cent in de woeld, ind I must practise economy. Your man can have em all charged.’ “Say, what do you tink of her ? * Dose tings I orders for her was flowers and candy and bunnets and dinky stuff in de dry-goods store, and golf sticks and gloves and I don't know what ell, and I never put up a bean ; never showed de color of de long green onct. But de clerks gives me de glad hand like I'd trun boodle all over de stores. “1 wisht some of dose widdys down where I usty live had a dead easy graft like dat.” —Chimmie Fadden. IF you try t’ find out what women dey do or don't do tings for, you're worse off your base dan before. See? De best way ist’ take em as you find em, and try not go crazy tinkin bout it, Dat’s right.—Chimmie Fadden. “Dar’s de funny ting bout women. Dey tinks dere husbands knows more dan dere fadders, dat dey knows more demselves dan dere husbands, and dat dere fadders knows more dan demselves. You can't make dat game fit togedder no way ; dere is always one chicken outer de coop, See ?—Chimmie Fadden. Lapy SPENCER once asked Dr. Warren, her medical attendant, whether the minds of physicians must not be frequently imbittered by the reflection that a different mode of treatment might have saved the lives of their patients, The doctor thought otherwise. “The balance between satisfaction and remorse must," he said, ‘be greatly in favor of satisfaction, and as an instance of this I trust I may have the pleasure of curing your ladyship forty times before killing you."— Household Words. From St. Pauls, THE NEWEST WOMAN. S'CUSE ME, GUV'NOR, GIVE US A LIGHT. Wuat po YOU MEAN, IMPERT Laborer : New Woman: MY HUSBAND. iT FELLOW? I SHALL cat. SECOND SERIES—NOW READY or THe “CHIMMIE FADDEN” SKETCHES. CHIME Faden stplans Major Max Expounds By EDWARD W. TOWNSEND. 12mo, illuminated cover. Paper, 50c.; Cloth, $1.00. 32nd Edition of the First Series: “Chimmie Fadden, Major Max And Other Stories.” LOVELL, CORYELL and co., Publishers, 310-318 Sixth Avenue, New York. ATMOSPHERIC. 2irs. De Vere; What a pleasaro it Is to attend ire, Van Smythe's receptions, they hare sach a delightful 16 atm: was delightful. I found she produced it by having a bottle of atmosphere was, deli four Dr 7 daring 8 A 2 ens FA. Ploaud's Konan Salts opea ta the room. y are the latest French novelty and are al: Mave Just parchased the bottle for the same purpose. ED. PINAUD’S ROMAN SALTS (iris. Superier to and + ow on the market. Permanent, Pangeot, Elegant. They ienimediateiy'chang phere of & sick roota, retreab the ‘and remove Uretul for beadache and fatigae, Don't fail to take for uso vuntry. | Novel and attractive 1a appearance, perfumes such as hare mace the . PINAUD™ world reaowned, Muguet (Litly of the Valley), Heliotrope, Lavender, Iris, Lilas, Violet, Royal Peach, Peau d’Espagne. will send, securely packed (all charges paid), any ot Verveine not sold by your dealer, ‘odors on receipt of 706. for Gling up the salt bottles twice after evaporation, per bottle, changes prepaid, Be VIOLETTE REINE. The most exquisite VIOLET ESSENCE, now the European fad. Used by the nobility and gentry generally throughout the continent. New York Importation Office: 46 EAST FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. : whi the abor ROMAN LIQ)