Life — May 23, 1895 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE-: BALANCING AN ACCOUNT. =. T is all over! she has me! She has sent back everything my ring, my letters, my poems, all! Well, she was worth trying for; she meant a cool quarter million, and I lost! But I think Jam ahead of the game, Let ce; we stand something like this: Miss Mortimer (formerly Lu- cille) in account with Me. Dr. ‘To one engagement ring, (This is a beautiful stone; I got it ata jilted $53 00 ness.) To flowers, (asperbills) =. 5 2 ee “confectionery, (say) - e wi eM - theatres, (about) 140 00 60 0 56 00 “carriages, - = + 2 ee ee (This is the exact amount; I have the bills— unreceipted.) getting her brother intoxicated on two occasions, - (He was a difficult subject.) one dozen photos, taken in February, “ June, October, one chain bracelet with pearl setting at Christmas, “one “ Lalah Rookh,” edition de luxe, at birthday (The original cost of this, marked on box, was $18 00.) one month's hotel bill, with extras, at Newport, ungrudgingly expended in order to be with her, 47_00 “ 10 00 10 00 10 00 1B 50 12 00 110 00 $ 564 00 cr. To one second-hand engagement ring, $ 15 0 36 photos of myself, (say) - : 10 one second-hand gold bracelet, - = + = = = $00 amount saved by limiting myself to two drinks per day atherrequest, = = = = = cigars smoked on her papa, at 12 cents apiece, - meals saved by dining at her house, = - dinners, etc., obtained from acquaintances on t strength of being engaged to her, 12 accepted poems variously entitle: Heart Song," ete, = one election bet won from papa, one glove case; very elegant, (say) one scarf case, very beautiful, (say) = - various amounts obtained from my aunt for doing the only sensible thing of my life, #. ¢.: becoming 120 00 22 00 21 09 35 00 30 00 50 00 5 00 engaged to Miss Mortimer, 240 00 5 00 amount due to this article, if accepted, $564 10 $64 00 Balance to credit of Me, 3 10 Richard Stillman Powell. HRISTIAN charity goes out so fully to the Heathen that there’s not always enough of it left for other Christians. THE GROWTH OF GREATNESS. Xil. CHAUNCEY MITCHELL DEPEW. FROM AN AMBROTYPE TAKEN AT PEEKSKILL IN 1843. HERE is a tradition that when this famous orator was born the hills and valleys in the neighborhood of Peekskill resounded with the joyous tinkle of glasses, amid mighty echoes, as if from the shoot- ing of champagne corks. ‘This is a pretty story, but we find it hard to believe that inanimate rocks could have foreseen the future of this immortal babe. It was not until he was nearly five months of age that he first gave tokens of his heaven-born gift. We can imagine the nurse's surprise when he pushed aside the bottle, wiped the superfluous milk from his smiling lips and delivered his first after-dinner speech. Since that moment the world—or shall we say his own mouth—has been his oyster, and he has opened it. No public dinner in New York to-day is complete without Mr, Depew, and he is ever ready. It has been said that oratory is an excellent substitute for ideas, but it is difficult to estimate with exactness how this applies to the oratory of our hero, as most of his remarks are delivered when his hearers are at their happiest estate, well wined and dined and laughing in advance. Venomous tongues assent that our thirst for this music has been slaked, but such tongues exist in every clime, There are even those who complain of too much sunshine. ROOM FOR THE NOSE. KEY: I dinks that I'll have my picture taken profile. Moses: Ach, no Ikey. Der blate vill haf to be bigger, and it will cost more.