Life — May 16, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tne March wind was swirling and soughing drearily as Sir Walter Raleigh ascended the steps to the palace and inquired of the Grand-Duke of the Vestibule if her Majesty was at home, That individual, turning to the Goldstick in Waiting, repeated the question to him, and he in turn interrogated the First Lady of the Front Staircase, who promptly communicated Sir Walter's request for information to the proper authorities, the result being that the courtier was informed that her Majesty was in, and would be pleased to have him call again next week. This Sir Walter, concealing his discomfiture, proceeded to do, remarking to the Queen, when next he met her, that she had treated him ina very wintry manner the last time he called. “No, my dear Sir Walter,” replied her Majesty, you was not wintry ; it was summary.” “Ha! smiled the courtier. ‘+ You were feeling coolly that morning.” * Wrong again, Sir Walter,” was her Majesty's quick retort, ‘I was not coolly disposed. Indeed, I was much less Raw-ly disposed that usual.” “Were I your enemy, madame,” quoth the courtier, “I should inform your Majesty that that jest was good when first ‘twas uttered by the third assistant game-keeper on my great-great-grandfather’s estates, some two hundred years ago, but as one of your Majesty's devoted slaves I remember what is due your Highness, and observe, ‘Hat ha!’ Thy wit wellnigh drives me to the verge of lunacy. Again your Majesty will permit me to observe ‘Ha! ha!" “Laugh away, my dear Sir Walter,” replied the Queen, somewhat piqued ; “+ but do not laugh too hard. Men have been known to laugh their heads off.” This story is interesting as showing Elizabeth's extraordinary ability in the art of repartee. —Harper's Magazine. “the treatment accorded ‘Faxcy ‘complishments is all right in dah place,” said Uncle Eben, * but folks hab moh need foh shovlin beautiful snow dan dey hab foh recitin ob it." —Ex. Four or five ladies bustled into Mr. Munn’s private office the other day. “What can I do for you, ladies ?" he asked pleasantly. “Why, Mr. Munn,” began one of the visitors, ‘we are taking up a subscrij and we knew you wouldn't like itif we didn’t give you an opportunity to subscribe.” Mr. Munn bowed graciously, and asked: ‘* And the object? Of course it isa worthy one, or you would not be interested in it.” “Yes, sir,” replied the spokeswoman, ‘we think it is a very worthy object. is to build a home for aged and indigent widows.” “Excellent { excellent ! I shall take pleasure in making you out a check." “Oh, how lovely of you, Mr, Munn,” exclaimed the spokeswoman when she received the bit of paper and read the amount—one thousand dollars.‘ Oh, we didn’t expect to get that much from you, We are ever so much obliged.” “* So good of him,” and similar éxclamations were heard as the check was passed around for the admiration of the party. “But, Mr. Munn,” said the lady who handled the check last, “ you haven't signed it.” “That is because I do not wish my benefactions known to the world,” Mr. Munn, modestly; ‘* I wish to give the check anonymously.” the ladies out with great dignity.—Harper's Magazine. said And he bowed Samay came home from an afternoon at the Natural History Museum. “Where have you been ?” said his grandpa, who saw that he was in uncom- monly good spirits. “Oh, we've had a splendid time. lander, Australia, We've been to a dead circus.”"—Qucens- What makes the old cat howl so? I guess you'd make a noise if you was full of fiddle strings CHARLIE: WALTER inside.—New York Herald. THE HE highest of all high ble results. The kind that DON’T wear out. A “GUARANTEE” in every pair. ALL DRY GOODS STORES SELL THEM. OT Essence RHINE + VIOLETS THE QUEEN OF PERFUMES, Wonderfully true to na- ture and more lasting than any other scent of its name. Distilled from freshly gathered Rhine Violets, A specialty pur excellence. All the rage in Europe at the present time. MULHENS & EROPFF, New York, U. 9. Agests. BEARING THIS NAME ARE THE keeps thei graduated” SUSPI price. Look for CHES’ For Sale by Druggists. Pampnccr Face. world, regardless of price. best in the world for the production of the finest possi- Every machine fully guaranteed. INDIANA BICYCLE CO., *GRADUATED” GOUT? LEHN & FINK, Agents, New York. 21 Ib. Scorcher, Ladies’ 22 Ibs., CATALOGUE FREE. $85 $75 Bl CY CL ES grade machines built in the Our facilities are the ARE WARRANTED. Indianapolis, Ind., U. S. A. Suspenders ELASTIC CORD MAKES THEM SO. Fifty cents and upwards. Cheaper model at 23 cents Sample pairs mailed 1or cord and the name on every pair, ROXBUR’ IDER CO. No. 7 Dec SCHERINGS 8 PIPE Avenue, Nas: ERAZI WATER RECOMMENDED FOR Gravel, Calculus, Lazy Liver, and all Uric Acid Troubles. WILL CURE IT.