Life — May 2, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The late Dr, Yandell was fond of telling the following joke: A lady patient one morning greeted him with the remark, ** Doctor, I had such a singular dream about you last night.” ‘Indeed, What was it? “Why, I dreamed that I died and went to Heaven, 1 knocked at the golden gate, and was answered by Peter, who asked my name and address, and told the recording angel to bring his book, He had considerable difficulty in finding my name, and hesitated so long over the entry, when he did find it, that I was terribly afraid something was wrong; but he suddenly looked up and asked, ‘What did you say your name was?" [told him again.‘ Why,’ said he, ‘ you've no business here. You're not due these ten or fifteen years yet.’ ‘Well,’ said I, * Dr. Yandell said'— ‘Oh, you're one of Yandell's patients, are you ?- That accounts for it, Come right in! come right in! that man’s always upsetting our calculations in some way."— Vis Medicatrix. I HAVE before me a letter from a Parisian friend, a gentleman of some literary note in his own country, who informs me that he is learning English by the aid of a small text-book and a dictionary, without any other instructor; and he adds : “In small time I can learn so many English as I think I will to come at the America and go on the scaffold to lecture."—Detrott Free Press. “HAVEN'T you got anything solid to eat?” said a traveler, discontentedly eyeing the profusion of pies and small cakes on the counter of a restaurant at one of the way stations, ‘Shall I give you some beans ?” said the proprietor with his most persausive smile, ‘The traveler assented, and making short work of them, asked, “ How much ?"" “Twenty-five cents,” was the bland response. “What !” cried the traveler, Twenty-five cents for a spoontul of cold beans ?” ‘The proprietor continuing firm in his price, the man paid it and departed. But late that afternoon a telegram was handed in to the restaurant keeper, for which he paid twenty-five cents, It ran thus: ‘Don't you think your price a little high on beans ?"—Silver Cross. . Laura: What a clever girl Jennie is! She had sixty-seven offers of marriage within a week after she left college. CtaRa: Indeed! And she is not very good-looking. Laura: No; but the subject of the essay that she read at her graduation was ‘ How to keep House on $12 a Week."—Munsey's Weekly. THE “Kayser” In Chronic Bright’s Disease of the Kidneys—Its Disintegrating or Solvent Power in Urinary Calculi. Dr. Alfred L. Loomis, Professor of Pathology and Practical Medicine in the Medical Department of the University of New York: four genre t'nave,teet BUFFALO LITHIA WATER ‘taronic itigncs sense of the Kidneys, occurring im Gouty and Kheumatic subjects, with 2 oy is y recta, Dr. W. H. Drummond, Professor Medical Jurisprudence, Bishop's Univer- sily, Montreal, Canada. are 1 sexeral cases of Urinary Calcult—Vestcal irritation, ete., recently under my care I have ‘with wonderfal success, and in sdministered BUFFALO LITHIA one particular instance when the atient was sullering mos stress, With forked urinary stream, and all he symptoms of a large c: e ic f was experienced in eight days; the disintegrated portions of stone passing Withoucany diieuity. Tn this class a y of cas- certainly bas a remarkable effect in es Gro BUFFALO LITHIA WATER frectitic up into deoris thewesions masses of stone. Itscems to me thuta freer use of this marvelous water would obviato many a case of Lithotomy and Lithotrity’? The kind that DON’T wear out. A “GUARANTEE”? in every pair. ALL DRY GOODS STORES SELL THEM. This ‘Wategis for sale by druggists generally, or In cases of one dozen half-gallon bottles % f.0.b. at the Springs. Descriptive pamphlets sent to any address. Springs open for guests from June 15th to October Ist. 00 ms: i ; DRESS S F. GOODE. Proprietor, Buffalo Lithia Springs, Va. REFORM UNDERWEAR The only sanitary underwear. Endorsed by physicians through- out thecountry. This is a good time to become acquainted with the merits of Ypsilanti—for 1895 you will find PRICES DOWN. Send for Catalogue and our new book entitled “ Modern Under- wear, and How to Wear It.” They are free. HAY & TODD MFG. CO. YPSILANTI, MICH.