Life — April 18, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOT COMPETENT TO JUOGE. ISS CHATTER: What fool-killers cigar- ettes are. Don't you think so, Mr. Noodleby. Mr, NoopLesy: Weally, [| couldn't say, Miss Chatter. I never smoked one in me life, dontcherknow. H : Wasn't Brown's wife named Stone before she was married? SHE: Yes; and it wasa able name. What do you mean ? Oh, nothing; only she threw herself at his head. E* MAN: And how did my friend Jones do in Kentucky? KENTUCKY VISITOR: Oh, he disgraced our town, “How?” “ Died of malaria.” **(YUR minister is one of the salt of the earth!" “Humph! Ours is so fresh we hardly expect to keep him !” HILADELPHIANS don't even catch cold. *-LIFE-: RETRIBUTION. HE girl who lives next door to me is young and persevering, he practices from 5 A. M. till breakfast-time each day ; She plays the same, old, worn-out tunes, until I'm tired of hearing, And makes the same mistakes each time, in the same unerring way. She's added to her powers, of late, by capturing a lover, A tenor flat, who comes each night at eight o'clock or so. They sing duets and popular airs, over again and over, And often it is twelve o'clock before he starts to go. The other neighbors rage and swear ; I dare not join their scomings. My youthful sins have found me out ; I suffer, and am mute; For, in my early manhood, in spite of tears and warnings, I used to spend my evenings in practising the flute ! Priscilla Leonard. THE CALLOW BOOK. “*7°M tired of everything,” said Henri du Bodleyhead, as he stretched himself on his pale green divan, and placed his noble head on a saffron colored pillow. “ Then, my dear Henri, you are in the right mood to become a con- tributor to Zhe Callow Book,” said Rosamund Newera, his mental affinity, who had dropped into his study to smoke a cigarette with him, ¢ thought of that as a last resource,” said Henri. “I've tried every respectable Magazine in London, but they all return my stories and tn ae ‘o -6 WS —< in)! _= ENG. “Ir's Great run.” poems with the remark that they are ‘ overcrowded,’ ete., which means they are afraid of the British Matron.” “You know, of course,” said Rosamund, “that Zhe Callow Book