Life — April 11, 1895 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: OUR fOOLiSH..- (ONTEMPORARIES PS —S “Say, Mickey, wot's Trilby ?” “Hully gee! Trilby ain't a nawthin’, immy ?” “Well, den, who’s Trilby ?” “Oh, youse fellers make me tired. Youse don't know nawthin’, I read de book up it de doctor’: ‘Trilby was a dame wot wuz bro't up in de Fourt’ ward in Paris. Her Id man wuz a preacher, but got ter hittin’ de bottle too lively and her old lady slung gin In a joint. Dey got stuck on each other and hitched up, but de booze got de best ot hem and dey croaked in Paris and left two kids. De girl was Trilby, but the boy kid hon't cut no ice in de story, De girl wuz a dandy and some painter bloke got stuck on er shape and made a model of her to drawer from. Den dey all got a-paintin’ her and hnakin’ chalk images of her left foot or somethin’ and so she met three English guys who uz in Paris learnin’ paintin’. There wuz a big bloke, bigger'n Corbett, and a Scotch Inug and a little dude. Of course, Trilby’s old man bein’ English, she fell right in wid push, and soon she wuz mendin’ deir socks and right to home wid dem. “ Bimeby the big fellow got spooney, but youse kids can’t understand that part of Anny way, the little dude wuz the winner. Dat’s just like de wimmen, dey on't know when dey got a good thing. If she'd made a play fer the big guy I think he'd a flew the coop with her and den the story wouldn't ha’ been ritten. But the kid uz the winner, ez I sed, but she gev him de marble heart because she know'd she'd been sittin’ round wid de painters widout no close on and his folks mightn’t like it. So jen a dago wat wuz a great musiciner got in widde gang and of course he got stuck n Trilby, too. He wasn't no good except for playin’ the pianer and wuz always pullin’ ome one’s leg and wouldn't give any one the glad hand who was fool enough to ough-up—well, anny way, when the kid told her he'd skip it she dida’t marry him, she eakened and said all right. Den de kid’s ma cum over from London and put the blinkers on the whole racket and made Trilby fire him, see? Den de dude took sick ind_de dame went on de bum fora while when she met de dago and he mesmerized her, me as de bloke did does guys up at Dorises museum last week, and hully ge! how she lould sing when she was asleep—no, I mean when she was under hisinfluence. Well, Ina few years she made a big hit all over Europe and come to London, and wot d'yer ELD &BARTON ILVERSMITHS : Trilby'’s a dame. Why don't yer read, "LA. MARQUISE” OfSIGN PATENTED 37 UNION SQUARE & a a = 1 MAIDEN Lane rices TAUNTON, MASS. cmeaco once Da enenncron oF prevace oes corner 923 creseut st softening, whitening and perfuming complexion. Most efficacious for light affections of the skin. J. SIMON 36, rue de Provence PABIS \ Fancy goods stores, Extract“ BEEF —S Used by all good cooka, Send address for Cook Boot. Armonr & Co., Chicago. |W. B. KIRK & CO., 69 Fulton Street think? De night she wuz to make her dabe—dat means her first appearance, see ?— didn't de dago drop ded in the box scared t'deth of the big feller { wuz tellin’ yer about, wot was stuck on Trilby in Paris, who wuz in the theayter dat night. Gee ! den dere wuz fun! She couldn't sing a little bit because de dago wuzn't dere to mezmerize her, and she got sick and the little dude got sick ; but annyway, dey both croaked. Bot you'se couldn't tumble to dat part of the story. But if you'se could read and under. stand dere's lots I couldn't tell about dat would make yer leak even if you wuz tuff. The big feller wuz a corker and de kid wuz a game one, too, but yer can’t phaze wi My Maag is jest de same way. Hully gee!"—.Vewark Sunday Call. THe other day a great gaunt colored man entered the express office, and edging up to the man in charge took off his hat and asked if there had been anything received for George Washington. ‘The clerk looked at the man searchingly, and then with a knowing air remarked “Ah, what game are you trying to work on me now ? He's been dead long ago.” This story is much the same as the story about the Congressman who declared in an address to the House : “+ As Daniel Webster says in his great dictionary.” “It was Noah who wrote the dictionary,” whispered a colleague, who sat at the next desk. ‘oah, nothing,” replied the speaker.‘ Noah built the ark."—Fvorida Citizen, “You don't seem to admire young Lankins,” said one girl. “I don't,” replied the other. ‘* He is the champion all round clumsy man. He handles a tennis racket as if it were a chafing dish, and a chafing dish as if it werea tennis racket."— Washington Star, Trilby. If Trilby, idol of the hour, Could make the soul rejoice, And sway hearts with the magic power, And beauty of her voice, She might have charmed both, don’t you (Let critics sneer and carp) see Ten thousand times as quick, if she Had used The Autoharp. Autoharps range from $1.50 to $150. Send for illustrated catalogue, “How: the Autoharp captured the family.” Alfred Dolge & Son,1a E. 13th St., New York, LOUISE & CO., COURT MILLINERS. SPRING OPENING, THIS WEEK. 294 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. B.Altmans Go [8th St., 19th St.& Sixth Ave. Spring, 1895. HAVE OPEN COMPLETE LINES OF ENGLISH UNDERWEAR FOR MEN, INCLUDING THE PRODUCTIONS OF Allen Solly & Co., I. & R. Morley, and other reliable makers. No “OLD CROW RYE” is genuine untess the word YY E is printed on the label and case, and our firm name is on the case, cork, capsule and label. Many counterfeits are offered, Every barrel of rye whiskey made at this dis- tillery for the past 23 years has been sold and delivered to us. ‘The ROBERT STEWART RYE is the best RESERVE STOCK" R. 0. B. Glenlivet Scotch Whiskey, bottled in Glasgow: very old and choice. ‘All the popular brands of wines, liquors, malt liquors, &c.; very old and medium ages. NOTICE. UBSCRIBERS TO “LIF will please give old address as well as new when re- questing change of same,