Life — April 11, 1895 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: MANY years ago, at the celebration of the landing of the Pilgrims, in New York City, much to Archbishop Hughes’ surprise he was invited to be one of the guests, and, perhaps to their surprise, also, he accepted. Among those who spoke on that occasion there was not lacking a sly dab at the church, which forms a part of the proceedings ; but all in good fellowship. Finally the Archbishop was called upon to respond to a toast, which he did in his usual happy manner, and ended by proposing : ‘ Plymouth Rock the Blarney Stone of America !"—Boston Transcript, A Goon old Methodist lady attending service in a suburban Episcopal church became happy under the preaching of the word, and ejaculated * Glory! She was admonished to keep quiet by two of the brethren, and nodded assent, but soon becoming forgetful, responded ‘ Hallelujah !* The brethren again called her attention to the annoyance and told her that if she did not keep quiet they would be compelled to remove her. The sermon proceeded, and the old lady, becoming very happy and forgetful of her sur- roundings, shouted out: ‘Glory to God!" ‘This was too much for the brethren, and they tried to lead her out; but she refused to walk, so they carried her. On the way she said: “Lam honored above my Master, for while He was carried by an ass, I am carried by two."—Oskaloosa Herald. * THERE was quite a fight in front of the store to-day,” said a Rockland man at the supper table. ‘Two men got into a row, one struck the other, and then the crowd gathered. The man who was struck ran and grabbed a cart-stake, and rushed back, his eyes blazing. I thought sure he'd knock the other man’s brains out, and I stepped right in between them.” The young heir had given over eating his tart as the narrative proceeded and his eyes leaned right out of his head, He was proud of his father’s valor and he cried: ‘ He couldn't knock any brains out of you, could he, father?" The old man looked long and curiously at the heir, but the lad’s countenance was frank and innocent and open. When it closed with the tart on the inside the father gasped slightly and resumed his supper.— Chicago Jater-Ocean. By some chance a member of congress, not in Washington, had fallen into the clutches of a policeman. “Do you know who I am?" be asked, with the same manner he would have employed had he been in Washington. “T can't say that I do,” replied the policeman, willing to please. “Lam a member of congress, sir,” and the statesman’s chest puffed out, albeit he was rather unsteady on his legs. xclaimed the officer, warningly. lighter sentence."—Exchange. “Don't give it away and you'll get a “Here, Benny,” said Mr. Bloombumper to his young son, as the latter started to church, “is a s-cent piece and a quarter. You can put which you please into the contribution box.” Benny thanked his papa and went to church. Curious to know which coin Benny had given, his papa asked him when he returned and Benny replied : “Well, papa, it was this way: The preacher said the Lord loved a cheerful giver, and I knew I could give a nickel a good deal more cheerfully than I could give a quarter, so I put the nickel in." Exchange. EX-SENATOR EVARTS paid a visit to the scene of his many former triumphs during the late session. He took a seat on the floor of the, Senate and was soon surrounded by a small host of senators. It may not be generally known, but he is the possessor of a veritable fund of dry and ready wit, He was given, in the preparation of his speeches and opinions, to exceedingly long and involved though perfectly lucid sentences, This gave rise to more or less jocular criticism on the part of the press. Some one mentioned it to Evarts one day. His eye twinkled as he said: ‘* Yes, I know there are two classes of people who are very much opposed to long sentences ; one is telegraph operators and the other is criminals."— Washington News. ‘A YouNG lady organist in a church was captivated with the young pastor of a church in the next street, and was delighted to hear one week that by exchange he was to preach the next Sunday in her own church. The organ was pumped by an obstreperous old sexton, who would often stop when he thought the organ voluntary had lasted long enough. This day the organist was anxious that all should go well, and as the service was about to begin she wrote a note intended solely for the sexton’s eye. He took it, and in spite of her agonized beckonings carried it straight to the preacher. What was that gentleman's astonishment when he read: ‘“Oblige me this morning by blowing away till I give you a signal to stop.—Miss Allen."—Afontreal Star. For ene by gf Nowséealers 2 Great Britain. The Inter national News’ Company. Dream's. fullding, Chancery, Las Usadon, F.C, England, Aonwrs. ey eee EUROPEAN AGENT®—Memra Breatano, 37 Avenue de ‘Opera. Part; Saarbech’s News Exchange, 1 ‘Clarastrame, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and 81 IVORY SOAP There is a “comfortable feeling” that comes after a bath with Ivory Soap. Tne Procter & Gawore Co., Corn, MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT, You can leave Grand Central Station, the very centre of the city, For Chicago, St. Louis and Cincinnati, in a magnificently equipped train, Via the New York Central, The Great Four-track Trunk Line, Trains depart from and arrive at Grand Central Station, New York Connecting the east and west, i by the New York Central Lines. Chicago is only 24 hours away ; Cincinnati 22 ; St. Louis 30. 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