Life — February 7, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Gex, Sin EveLyN Woon, in his reminiscences of the Crimean in 185 and 1894, telis a story of a fighting general who, during the conflict, was seen wher- ever bullets fell most thickly. When not’ visible his voice was heard encourag- ing his men with ‘a vocabulary borrowed from ‘ the army in Flanders," which Sir Evelyn says will not bear repetition. ‘+ Years after he was appointed to the Aldershot command, and her Majesty happened to ask, ‘Has the new general ettaken up his command?" “Ves, your Majesty,’ was the apt reply, ‘he swore imself in yesterday.’ —Westminster Gazette. A GENTLEMAN who lives in a Southern town the other day employed a car- penter to partition off a part of his study, and particularly instructed the work- man to make the partition sound proof. ' The carpenter declared that he could do this effectually with a filling of sawdust. When it was finished, the gentle- man stood on one side and called to the carpenter on the other: Can you hear me, Smith ?” “No, sir, not a bit,” was the prompt reply.—Munsey’s. A priest of Buda, Hungary, recently married a very foung couple, and, instead of the usual benediction, amazed principals and witnesses by exclaiming “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."—Ba/timore Herald. Tue, intellectual young lady looked over her glasses at the average young man, and asked, suddenly : ‘How old would you take me to be ?”” The average young man fell into a train of thought. “TL wonder,” said he to himself, ‘* whether she wants to be rated five years THe Duke: What on earth are you doing down there, darling? Tne Ducness (formerly Miss May Yoke, of the “ Hilarity”) : your love letters, dear; there's no need to keep ‘em now.—Exchange. Maup: understand that Jack proposed to you last night and you refused Marie: Yes: although, poor fellow, I am afraid that if he bad not left me so hurriedly, I might have relented and accepted him. Maup:' So he told me.—New York Herald. He was a man who loved his wife and children, and he always wanted them to share with him any of the good things that he came across, says the Cincinvat Tribune. On Christmas night be drank too much egg-nogg. He went to bed as soon as he reached his room. Along in the night b awoke. He had a terrible thirst and felt as though he could bite a branch i twain and swallow the upperend. He got up and went out on the gallery wher the water pail sat. The water was covered with ice. He took the dipper, brok the ice, filled the dipper and drank heavy draughts of the chilly fluid, Ah, how sweet it tasted. He stopped to catch his breath, and then called for his wife. “Oh, Laura, Laura!” No answer. “Laura, L-a-u-r-a!” Laura was awakened. “What do you want, dear ?" she replied. “* Hurry and wake all the children, and tell ‘em to come out here a of this good water." Exchange. In a Western court a negro was convicted of stealing a mule. Bef. sentence was pronounced, the judge gave him an opportunity to speak fc self, and he said: “T wouldn't er tuck de mule nohow ef I hadn't read in de Testermir Jesus tuck a mule,” younger on the score of her looks, or five years older on account of her bfains ? ‘The judge remarked: ‘Yes, but he didn’t ride him to Kingston anc Darn these advanced women, anyhow."—Cincinnati Tribune. we yy _ sell him,” and thereupon he gave the negro three years in the penitentiary.- 5 Ladies and Gentlemen The cigarrét smoked by His Imperial Maj- dul Hamid 11, Sultan of Turkey. Made from absolutely pure Turkish tobacco. No opium — non-narcotic. 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