Life — January 31, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THe steamer S—, commanded by Captain S—, exploded several years since on one of our Southern rivers, with terrible effect, and burned to the water's edge. Captain S— was blown into the air, alighting near a floating bale of cotton, upon which he floated uninjured, but much blackened and muddied, Arrived at a village several miles below, to which the news of the disaster had preceded him, he was accosted by the editor of the village paper, with whom he was well acquainted, and eager for an item. . , boy | is the S— blown up? Was Captain S— illed 2 “No; Lam Captain S— The thunder you are! How high was you blown ?”” * High enough to think of every mean thing I ever did in my life before I came down.” ‘The editor started on a run for his office, the paper about going to press, and not wishing to omit the item of intelligence for the next issue, two weeks off, wrote as follows : “The steamer S— has burst her boiler, We learn from Captain S—, who says he was blown up long enough to think of every mean think he ever did in his life before he lit, We suppose he was up about three months.""—Ex. SOME years ago the commanding officer of a military station, desiring the grass around the quarters to be protected while it was growing, gave strict Orders to the sentries that no one except the cow should be allowed to step over it. The next day the general's wife called upon some ladies, and wishi make a short cut, walked across the grass from one path to another. “No one to pass here, madam,” said the sentry. The lady drew herself up, “Do you know who I am ?” she demanded of the sentry. ‘No, madam,” replied the impassive soldier, "I do not know who you are; but'I know that you are not the general's cow, and nobody else is permitted to walk on this grass."—Harper's Young People. ACARDINAL who commanded the troops of Pope Boniface IX. in the Re tis = march of Lacona, finding himself in a position in which he must conquer or 4 te) | ad die, promised the soldiers that if they secured the victory those who fell should a ha gh . dine that very day with the angels. They marched to the combat with ~ Roa A alacrity ; but finding that the cardinal was careful not to expose himself, i MA ‘How is it,” said one of them, “that you show no anxiety for the celestial i banquet to which you have invited us so warmly 2" THE SMOKING ROOM OF A LADIES’ CLUB. ** Because it is nct yet my dinner-time, and Iam not hungry."—AUl the Year Kound. TWO NEW MEMBERS.—From Pall Mall Budget. Seeeevwe You often hear of other extracts which Beeman’s— THE ORIGINAL claim to be ** just as good” as >» Pepsin Gum $Liebig CAUTION, —See that the genet | $CQMPANY’S ™ Pthewing aim $Extract of Beef, And a Deliciots Bemedy for idgecin usd Gevtiden, | but these claims only call attention to Send Se, for sample package the fact that the Company's Extract is Beeman Chemical Co. $ THE STANDARD jerelazd, 0, for quality. on the bolt of Ysa mar $ Bias Velveteen oOB0008 Skirt Binding, DON’T TAKE IT, The onl LL at the Paris 1 Ri E no matter what the clerk says.’ EL SPECIAL. | HYGIENIC, ADECRENT & INVISIBLE. | POUDRE DE RIZ.- CH. FAY. taventor’ HG Mr" Dress Stays arethe Best. 9, Rue de 1a Patz, Paris.— Caution, None Genuine bot those bearing the word “FRANCE” and the sieuatare CH. FAY eee=rest) VINODE SALUD Pearl S (WINE OF HEALTH.) ‘Corset Shields, A “IT have used Vino de Salud with excellent effect in nervous Broken Corsets made = exhaustion following an old malarial attack, and have continued to recom- as comfortable as new. pigs ‘i z Sota everywhere. Askyour f mend it in appropriate case: dealers he Rann’ them send bie V (Letter on file in our office from a well-known physician.) A beautifully illustrated booklet about Bre Seana Peete ne ce Peant.23 Union this celebrated Spanish Tonic Wine mailed onapplication to Sear eee cieaies piasieds/ Clorleys Foes 2D ROCHE & CO., Importers, 503 Fifth Ave., New York.