Life — January 24, 1895 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE* Max O'RELL was telling stories, ‘In Sydney, N.S. W., William Redmond, the celebrated Commoner and Home Rule advocate, was at Centenary Hall. There was the wildest kind of enthusiasm when he had finished addressing the great mass meeting. The chairman of the meeting was a very meek, mild man, do you understand? Very meek and very mild, Very well. The chairman arose when quiet had been restored, and Gentlemen, I am requested by Mr. Redmond to say that if any one present wishes to ask him a question he will be glad to answer it.” “A man arose from the body of the meeting and ascended the platform. “Mr. Chairman,’ he said, but he never gotany further. He was recognized at once asa notorious Orangeman, and quick as a flash a great, big specimen of an Irishman sprang at him and struck him in the temple—like that so.” The man fell like a log, and it was thought he was killed by the blow. They had to send for doctors and had to carry the man out ona stretcher. Imagine the excitement all this time, continuing for a quarter of an hour. Finally the chairman—don't forget how meek and mild he was tapped gently on the edge of his desk, advanced to the front of the platform with his e glasses poised on the end of his fingers—so—and it became at once as quiet as you could imagine. Then, very deliberately, the chairman said : %*+Gentlemen, {s there any one else who would like to ask Mr. Redmond a question !'"—Buffalo Express. Dr. Houses was usually very prompt at the Harvard Medical School, but he was missed one morning. Finally he entered the room hurriedly, glanced around with a smile and said: ‘Gentlemen, | know I am late; but there 1s a little stranger at my And then, with an expression such as only Holmes’s face could assume, he continued: ** Now can any one of you tell me what well-known business firm in Boston he is like?" There was noanswer ‘* He is Little & Brown,” said the doctor, with a twinkle in his eye. That was a good advertisement for Little & Brown; but it is probable that that pioneer of American humorists, * John Phoenix,” gave another Boston firma better one. Entering a large store in that city one day, he said to one of the roprictors : ‘1 think I would like to tuttle a little.” ‘To tuttle | What do you mean by that?" ‘I don't know,” gravely replied the humorist ; ‘but I read an invitation over the door, ‘Call & Tuttle,’ and I thought I would like to know how to do it. . Tne death of Father Healy, of Bray, removes from Irish life the wittiest Irishman of his time, Even in London ‘he was all but lionized in society, and the shoal of invitations which always followed his visits had generally the effect of shortening his sojourn. He was well known to every public man of both parties, and Lord Salisbury vied with Mr. Gladstone, and Mr. Morley with Mr. Balfour, in appreciation of his wonder- ful fund of humor. His most famous bon mot was probably his answer to a question once put to him by Mr. Balfour, ‘Tell me frankly, Father Healy,” said the then chief secretary, ‘do the Irish people really hate me as much as their leaders say ?” ‘ Well, I'll telf you this,” was the response, ** if they only hated the devil half as much as they hate you there would be no necessity for us priests in the country.” Even on his death-bed his humor did not desert him. A few hours before his death one of his medical attendants had occasion to ask him a question in reference to his breathing. ‘' Are you distressed, father ?" was the question. * Not at all, doctor,” said the dying wit ; ‘* baton the contrary, lots of fellows owe me money."—London Star. Ir is said that a well known ministerial educator was in the habit of testing the ability and self-possession of the theological students under his care and instruction by sending them up into the pulpit with a sealed envelope in their hands containing the text of the sermon or address each one was to deliver on the spur of the moment, in one of these occasions the student, on opening the paper, found this subject and direction given him: ‘Apply the story of Zaccheus to your own circumstances and your call to the ministry.” And the student promptly delivered himself in the following way : “* My brethren, the subject on which I have to address you to-day is a comparison between Zaccheus and my qualifications for the pulpit. Well, the first thing we read about Zaccheus is that he was small of stature ; and I never felt'so small as I do now. In the second place, we read that he was up a tree, which is very much my position now. And, thirdly, we read that Zaccheus made haste to come down ; and in this I gladly and promptly follow his example." —New York Observer. IT is related of the Duchess of Westminster that she put into her guest-chamber a curious Swiss clock, to which was attached a printed notice: ‘* Please do not touch.” When Mr. Joly, the Canadian Liberal, visited Her Grace he ventured to inquire the reason for the prohibition. “You are the 2oth man. who has asked that question,” replied the lady, gleefully. “Women, you know, are supposed to be proverbially curious, and I put that placard on the clock to test the same weakness in men, and I am happy tosay I find them not a whit less curious than women. I keep a list of all the gentlemen who have asked me the question you have just put, and there has been only one exception among all my guests who have occupied the room ; and that was Mr. Fawcett, the late postmaster-general, and he, poor man, was blind." —Exchange. For wale by all Newadealers in Great Britain. The Inter News Company, Tiream’s Building, Chancery Lane, E. C., Engiand, Aoaxrs. : AGENTS—Momra Brentano, 37 Avenue de Opera, Parts; Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 ‘Clarastrasse, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland. HAMILTON HOTEL, HAMILTON, BERMUDA. OPEN FROM DECEMBER UNTIL MAY A. PARK BOYCE & Co., Mans. Cable Address: HOTEL, BERMUDA. Delightful for Bath and Shampoo. PACKER’S TAR SOAP Cleanses quickly, and leaves the skin ex- quisitely clean, sweet and smooth. * Excellent for chapped skin.” —Lancet-Clinic, 7 LIFE BINDER. | Cheap, Strong and Durable, Wilt | hold 26 numbers. Mailed to any | part of the United States for $1.00, postage free, Address Office of “ LIFE," 19 West Thirty-First Street, N.Y. “A luxury for shampooing." —Med. Standard. HITCHINGS & CO., Established so Years. Horticultural Architects and Builders And Largest Manufacturers of GREENHOUSE HEATING avo VENTILATING APPARATUS. Conservatories, Greenhouses, Palm Houses, Etc., Erected Complete with Our Patent Iron Frame Construction. Plans and Estimates of Cost and Illustrated Catalogues Sent on Application. 283 MERCER ST., N.Y. Dress Goods January Sale. We have re-marked our Stock to conform with the new Tar- iff, and have supplemented it with early importations of Rich Crepons, including the fashionable “Mistletoe De- sign.” The full benefit of the reduc- tions will be in effect from this week in all our Dress Goods Sections, and customers will not fail to see and appreciate CRAND the change. The season’s collection of RemovalSal Chalili i HI; tt; OF and our importations’ have| RICH FURS, COATS, CAPES a been larger than usual; these GOWNS, HATS and BONNETS.) also will be displayed this! gyp TRADE-MARK in ever week. ¢ garment is a lasting guarantee fo Large shipments of Foreign | Quatity, Style, Fit and Finish. Novelties received daily. Everything being equal, ov! prices defy competition. James McCreery & Co., Broadway and 11th 8t., New York. 5) Before removing to 39 and 41 West 23d St., NOTICE. GS UBSCRIBERS TO “ LIFE" will please give old address, as well as new when re questing change of same. LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the wa comicbooks.com ae