Life — December 20, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LI j SIFFWELL: Why, Bridget, you have been eating onions ! Bar Shure, mum, you're a moind reader.—Exchange. Epitor: It seems to me you've been a long while grinding out this article. REPORTER: Yes; you see I wrote the first half of it on the typewriter and the last half with a tountain pen.—Exchange. CALamiTy ORATOR: Now I want some intelligent workman to stand up here and answer me one question (Stout-looking man Catamity ORATOR : ir, please tell_me, in the presence of this audience, you don't have more work. Speak out! Let the people hear ! Workman! Because I have to sleep !—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Mrs. Bini Mr, Bink: First PHysician: SECOND PHYSICIAN : World. Wes the first edition of Thomson's + handsomely bound, to Sir Gilbert Elliott, of ) shown him great kindness. Sir Gilbert showed the book, which was really a credit to the publisher, to his old gardener, who was a relation of Thomson's. The old man took it in his hands, turning it over and over, and gazing at it in evident admiration. Sir Gilbert asked : “Well, David, what do you think of James Thomson now? There's a book that will make him famous all the world over, and immortalize his name.” David, looking first at Sir Gilbert and then at the book, replied proudly : “In truth, sir, it isa grand book! I did na’ think the lad had ingenuity enow to ha’ done sic a neat piece of handicraft as that. ‘And without a glance inside the handsome covers, the gardener handed the book back to his employer, repeating his surprise that his poor poetical relative should have attained to such praiseworthy work.— Youth's Companton. why (reading): Women can endure pain better than men. Who says that—a doctor or a shoemaker ?—New York Weekly. Is this a case that demands a consultation ? I think it is, The patient is extremely rich.—New Yord Seasons" came out the poet sent a copy, into, afterward lord justice clerk, who had FE Max O'RELL tells this story about himself. I had just returned ta the hotel after having given a lecture on the Scotch at the tow hall, I was half undressed when there came a knock at my bedroom door. It was a waited bearing a card. ‘The Presbyterian minister of the town wished to see me at once oa very urgent matter, Ibid the waiter show the reverend gentleman up. A man of aboal fifty, in the usual black ecclesiastical coat_and white cravat, and holding a soft felt ha appeared in the doorway, wearing asad face. I recognized him as one of my audieng that evening. xcuse my costume,” I began, and I thought best not to make you wait. “There is nothing the matter with your dress,” he broke in. of the body but of the soul. I have comie to pray for you.” Twas taken a little by surprise and felt a trifle discountenanced, but I quickly gained my composure. ‘Why, certainly,” I said, ‘with the greatest pleasure if it ca make you happy. He knelt, put his elbows on the bed, buried his head in his hands and began “Lord, this man whom Thou seest near me is not a sinful man; he is suffering {roa} the evil of the century; he has not been touched by thy grace; he is a stranger, c from a country where religion is turned to ridicule. Grant that his travel through o godly lands may bring him into the narrow way that leads to everlasting life.” ‘rhe prayer, most of which I spare you, lasted at least ten minutes, When he iad finished, my visitor rose and held out his hand, I shook it. d now, said 1, ** allow me to pray for you.” He signified consent by a movement of the hand. I did not goon my knees, bet with all the fervor that isin me I cried: ‘* Lord, this man whom thou sees beside is not a sinful man. Have mercy upon him for he isa Pharisee, who doubts not for oes moment, and that without knowing me,,that he is better than I, Thou who hast in vain Thy Son on earth to cast out the Pharisee, let Thy grace descend upon this ose; teach him that the foremost Christian virtue ischanty, and that the greatest charity is th which teaches us that we are no better than our brethren. This man is blinded by pride convince him, open his eyes, pity him and forgive him, as I forgive him. Amen.” T looked at my good Presbyterian. He was rooted to the Roor, amazement writa on his face. T once more took his hand and shook i “And now, said I, ‘we are quits. Good night pocketing the mild reproof.—Exchange. you wished to speak to me on urgent busines “ This is not an affai He went away somewhat abashed ACTRESS (angrity): Did you write that cri “The Abandoned Wife" was a miserable failure ? Critic: Ye—y-e-s; you see, you looked so irresistibly beautiful that it was j possible to fancy that any man could abandon you.—New York Weekly. m which said my impersonatios of For gale by all N jers in Great Britain. The Inter. ry Lane, Goropany, Wream's Bollding, Chance a Evnorsay Aogxrs—Memra Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera Paris; Saarbach's News Ex nt Gertnany, Awents for Germany, AvstHa and Switeerland, yo Wedding Invitations and Fine Stationery —at retail. Nothing gives better evidence of one’s good taste than the use of fine stationery. Send for sample book of correspondence papers. CELEBRATED HATS, —axp— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. ‘916 Chestnut St., Phila. $@-Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1889. Sprautpinc & Co., (ixconronareD.) State and Jackson Sts., Chicago. 36 Ave. de l'Opera, Paris. I thought you were going fishing ? Tam; but I'm going to get some bait first. Wirt Remember, William, you've signed the pledge !—Detrott Free Press. “The name of the WHITING PAPER COMPANY on a box of stationery is a guarantee of excellence.” ‘THERE is much to be gained by the use of Whiting’s Stationery —correct style, better writing and satisfaction. These cor- respondence papers are made at the expense of much care and thought, and, after 26 years’ experience. the makers are able to place before the public, in all stationery stores, the best article. Insist on having paper watermarked in the centre of the sheet ** Whiting's Standard,” or ** Whiting’s Re 1. WHITING PAPER COMPANY, HOLYOKE, NEW YORK and PHILADELPHIA. can only be accom- plished when the beard is Sort. Nothing softens the beard like the appli- cation of the rich—[} creamy lather pro- duced by WILLIAMS’ “soar. SOAP. PARISIAN ED. PINAUD’S ‘perrumes. LATEST EXQUISITE ODORS. 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