Life — December 13, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LI AT the parish church of Black River, special sermons were to be preached and col- lections made on behalf of the Home and Foreign Missionary Society. ‘To remind them of the annual effort, and to request their attendance in church, Archdeacon Ramson visited many of his flock for some time previously. A few days after the event had transpired, the worthy Archdeacon walked into the shop of an old woman, a somewhat hardened case, whom he had seen at church on that day for the first time. Judge of his surprise and amusement when, before he could utter a word of greeting, she startled him by jerking out in great wrath :— “Ah, you've comed:; I tho’t you would. But I'll give no more to your missions, not I, Why, look at that,” reaching down a nickel penny from the shelf. “I put that in the plate, and it has Comed back to me, I marked it, I did, for I knowed well them niggers never got the money.” GPRS A Prussian officer quartered in Alsace one day visited a chapel in the outskirts of the town. Greatly surprised at seeing a silver mouse among the votive offerings, he demanded an explanation from an “intelligent native” who was showing him round. “An entire quarter of the town,” the Alsatian proceeded to relate, “* was once infested by an army of mice, which constituted a veritable plague. Then a kind-hearted lady took it into her head to get a silver mouse made and to present it to the Virgin. A week afterwards all the mice had disappeared.” The officer burst out laughing, and exclaimed: ** What ! country so stupid as to believe such things ?” “Oh! no.” promptly replied the Alsatian; “for if we did, we should long since have offered the Virgin a silver Prussian."—Le Petit Parisien. Are the people in this At THE Butcner’s.—" Why did you put up that large mirror near the door ?” “To prevent the servant girls from watching the scales," —Exchange. “But, Emma, how can you prefer the plain and shabbily-dressed Julius to my elegant and handsome brother ?” “That is quite simple: your brother is in love with himself, and Julius with me."— Exchange. FE: ‘Tne hardest thing to acquire, miss,” said the dramatic teacher, ‘tis the art of laughing naturally without apparent effort.” Oh, I've got that down fine,” said the would-be soubrette ; ‘I typewrote for thr years for a man who was always telling me funny stories about his little boy."—/ndian apotis Journal. . | Oh, my brother's been hurt !_ He's being carried off the field, Never mind; we have a substitute end who's just a: Miss ENDRUSH : Her Escort (Yale *S): good.— Yule Record. “ Brivcer, Lam tired of your carelessness. Only look at all that dust lying abou on the furniture. It's six weeks old at the very least.” Brircet (very dignified): Then it is no fault of mine. mum, that I have been with you only three weeks,—Exchange. You knows very well A PELATED tourist was obliged to ask fora bed ata farmhouse, having wandered far from his hotel. On rising in the morning he found himself without tooth powder. Looking about him, he espied on the mantelpiece a small box containing powder which he used. ‘When he paid for his bed, he apologized to the farmer's wife for having used he tooth powder. “Tooth powder ?" she queried. _‘* We have none.” “Yes, my good woman. It was in a small round box on the mantelpiece.” “That,” she screamed, "that was nat tooth powder! ‘That was aunty!” Aunty had been cremated.—Exchange., IN the life of the late Dean Buckland, which has just appeared in England, it ig related that one time ‘he and a friend, riding toward London on a very dark night, lost their way. Buckland, therefore dismounted, and, taking up a handful of earth, sme! it. ‘Uxbridge !" he exclaimed, his geological nose telling him the precise locality.” Argonaut. ‘THE woman emancipationist had tackled the serene old bachelor. occasionally, but he retained his serenity. “ Have you ever done anything for the emancipation of women, I'd like to know ? id, coming down the home-stretch. ‘Indeed, T have, madam,” he smiled; ‘I have remained a bachelor."—Detroi Free Press. He squirm she Evnorzax AgmrTe— Morera, Brentano, $1 Avenue de! Opera Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange. 1 Clarastrame, Mayence, Germany, Ageats for Germany, Austria and Switeariand. Delightful for Bath and Shampoo. CELEBRATED HATS, PACKER? S} ces eas nt nnn TAR SOAP 1178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. Cleanses quickly, and leaves the skin ex- quisitely clean, sweet and smooth. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 916 Chestnut 8t., Phila. {Excellent for chapped skin,"”"—Lancet-Clinic. A luxury for shampooing.” —AMed. Standar vo Mean rand, Pan opto at HITCHINGS & CO., Hortcutural architects and Buiter GREENHOUSE HEATING ano VENTILATING APPARATUS. Established g0 Years. Our Patent Iron Frame Construction. Plansand Estimates of Cost and Illustrated Catalogues Sent on Application. LEWIS G. TEWKSBURY 283 MERCER ST., N.Y. Silk Waists Furs and Cloaks. Several Hundred Silk Waists at $5.00 each, be- ing the purchase of a manufacturer’s stock far below wholesale figures. Also, all our own higher grades. have been re- duced. . Our Coats and Cloaks $12.00 to $25.00 each, have attracted general attention because oftheir excellence. Fur Scarfs, in Mink, Persian, Alaska Sable, Chinchilla, $3.00 each and upward. Astrachan Fur Capes, $8.50 and $10.00 each. Electric Seal and Opos- sum Capes, $18.00 and $20.00 each. of the Standard Forei and Domestic makes Spautpine & Co., (INCORFORATED.) State and Jackson Sts., Chicag 36 Ave. de I'Opera, Paris. Our * Suggestion Book" mailed free, James McCreery & Co., Broadway and 11th 8t., New York. Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the wo